"When in doubt, choose change." That could be my lesson or mantra for 2014 I guess. For years I've been curious about working in a different setting. This spring I was in doubt, so I chose change. I chose to leave my comfortable position in a school setting, a position I am good at and pretty happy with. I chose to work in a clinic and kids' homes to learn a new way of doing things and hopefully find something I liked just as much as the schools.
Fast forward to now, I am again in doubt, and choosing change. There are a lot of contributing factors. Some things I learned about myself...how I work best...what really makes me happy, some things I learned about my new position...things that I felt more difficult for me personally...what I like and don't like, and some things I learned about my health...which impacted both me & my new job.
Short story on the health, we all know I have had my struggles with diabetes and let's just say it is ongoing. I'm making changes with medications and need to get back on track with taking care of myself. I had new symptoms I've never had before, which my doctor so kindly reminded me I am getting older so things will present in different ways. I'm getting some more things checked out just to be sure there's not anything else going on, but I'm hopeful with some time, effort, and help from medication I'll be back to my happy-go-lucky self soon.
So yes, here we are, choosing change yet again. In a couple weeks I will be done with my adventure into my new job. It was quite possibly the hardest decision I've ever made, even harder than when I chose to go on this adventure in the first place. I don't take it lightly that these wonderful kids and families have accepted me into their lives and homes, which is something they have to deal with for years... a revolving door of professionals. I didn't want to be another person waltzing in and then swiftly waltzing back out. In fact as I'm working with each kid I still catch myself thinking, "no way, you can't leave this little person!" But when I step back I know it's what is right for them in the long run and what's right for me too. I want them to have someone who can commit long term and be consistent for them. So it's been a hard couple of weeks as I accept my decision and tell my families. They have all been very understanding and I appreciate that.
So what's next? Right now not much. I will do my part time work at my nursing home and make time to take care of myself. We'll see what happens down the road but for now I am feeling less doubt thanks to choosing change.
