Not much

Not much to say just thought I'd check in. I got the job for the recreation assistant; I have my orientation in about a week and then I'll start. I have quite a few students who participate in the sports, and students I had last year who do too. So I think it'll be fun.

Work's been pretty good. I know I get on here and complain about it pretty frequently, but I've been feeling pretty good about it. I'm so much busier than I was last year, or any other year really, which just keeps me occupied, focused, and happy. It's when I get bored that my mind wanders! Aside from having more students, more needy students, I feel like I've been putting more into than I normally have. Which you know, when you give more you get more.

I'm back to reading "A New Earth." Which if you remember is a book that was introduced on none other than Oprah (come on, by now you should know that is where I get all my information....I can't help it if me & Oprah are on the same page!) So anyway that's the book where she & the author had a 'class' online to discuss each chapter and everything. The classes are still available on her website so I am following along with those now, because the book can be a little heavy in some spots and the extra discussion is really helpful. It's really all about finding inner peace and thinking positive and all that stuff. And we all know I'm a HUGE believer in positive thinking. It's always nice to be reminded of that and learn new ways of thinking.

Ivan & I went and saw "Nights In Rodanthe" tonight...ummm.... I don't even wanna say it because I was so excited to see this movie...but I really wasn't impressed! I didn't even feel anything throughout the whole movie. I like Diane Lane and Richard Gere and I just expected more I guess? Something didn't click for me, and Ivan felt the same way. But it was so weird, I expected a lot of couples there and was surprised I guess when I saw gobs and gobs of women! And not so many couples. It was so weird--and they'd all laugh, and I'd hear them sniffling or gasping and it just kinda made me wanna puke. I told Ivan--I love Oprah but I don't know if I could go watch it live because there would be too many women! They just bug and give us all a bad name for being so....womanly?! I dunno. Weird.

Still contemplating what to do next summer. Megan and I will be making some arrangements while I'm home over Christmas so I need to figure out if I'm traveling after Europe or coming back home. I go back and forth. I'm worried if I book it I'll be ready to come home after Europe and then I'll be going to Africa for 2-4 weeks. And the communication won't be as readily available in Europe or Africa this time. You know? Ahhh we'll see!

Anyway, guess I'll go.

What to do, where to go...

What to do...so I'm thinking about my plans for next summer because I'll need to start saving depending on what I'm doing.

So I'll be going to Europe with Megan for 3-4 weeks, but I'm not sure what want to do after that. Here's what I'm thinking about (although ALL of this is based on how much money it costs and what I can save).

1- Just come home after Europe. That would leave me a long summer at home still--could visit people here in the states and just hang out.

2- Go volunteer with a program I'm looking at in either Kenya or Tanzania. Which would be fun to do something different--new people, new place, new experience.

3- Go back to South Africa for a couple weeks to visit people. This could be fun to see the few people still there and volunteer and just hang out. Although there's a chance it could be a disappointment because I'd be going back to something different you know? I have these memories and I'd not being going back to the same place I left behind...But my reasoning for going back so soon is because the kids that I know will still be there will still be young, close to how I left them you know? And I have this hope of course that I'll magically be able to see Lona...

4- Do both...after Europe go to Kenya or Tanzania, and then to South Africa. This would obviously cost the most and have me gone for the entire summer. So I don't know even know if that's a real possibility financially, but it's an idea.

I don't know. They all have their ups and downs.

Thanks Barack!!

So I went online and sent a thing to my state senators (of Illinois that is, since I'm technically still a resident, so that's OBAMA! and Dick Durbin) because I was watching Oprah the other day (duh!) about online sexual predators. Whoah. I was crying because I was just in disbelief of what happens... people actually stream live video of rape and molestation, and people seek this out to watch it, people make how-to guides on rape--both in print and video--from infants to teens. Just really sick stuff.

So anyway, there is an act that needs to be passed in order to provide more funding to bust these guys--because basically right now they have the technology to find them, but there's so many of them and not enough law enforcement to do much about it.

So, I copied the form letter to my senators and even checked the box that says "no response needed," and I got a response from Obama! Now, now I realize it's a standard response that went out to everyone writing about this act, but I still appreciated the response! And I liked what it had to say-- cosponsored this act, and guess who introduced it? Biden! YAY! So anyway, here's what it said:

Dear Chelsey:

Thank you for contacting me in support of S. 1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act of 2008. I appreciate hearing from you and glad we agree on the need for this legislation. As a lawmaker, and as a father of two young girls, I assure you that protecting our nation's children from abuse and exploitation is a top priority.

Like you, I am concerned about the threat of sexual predators online and the easy access to profanity, violence, and vulgarity on the Internet. These threats are all too real and pervasive in our society, but we are far from powerless to fight them. By supporting and enhancing local and national law enforcement efforts, we can put an end to the scourge of child exploitation.

That is why I am proud that I cosponsored S. 1738. This legislation requires the Attorney General to appoint a Special Counsel for Child Exploitation Prevention and Interdiction within the Office of Deputy Attorney General to coordinate Department of Justice policies and strategies for the prevention and investigation of child exploitation cases. The bill also establishes an Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force (ICAC Task Force), consisting of state and local task forces to address online enticement of children, child exploitation, and child obscenity and pornography cases, and requires the Attorney General to establish a National Internet Crimes Against Children Data Network Center to assist the ICAC Task Force program and federal, state, local, and tribal agencies investigating and prosecuting child exploitation.

As you know, S. 1738 was introduced by Senator Biden (D-DE) on June 28, 2007, and reported out of the Judiciary Committee on July 7, 2008. A companion measure was passed in the House of Representatives by an overwhelming majority of 415 to 2 late last year. I will support every effort to get this important legislation signed into law.

Please be assured that I will continue to work to find solutions that will make our children safer and strengthen America's most vulnerable families. I hope you will stay in touch during this process.

Again, thank you for writing.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama
United States Senator

White Privilege?

**Interesting article a friend of mine posted. Sad but true in a lot of these examples...**

This is Your Nation on White Privilege By Tim Wise9/13/08

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto is "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college and the fact that she lives close to Russia--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because suddenly your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is when you can take nearly twenty-four hours to get to a hospital after beginning to leak amniotic fluid, and still be viewed as a great mom whose commitment to her children is unquestionable, and whose "next door neighbor" qualities make her ready to be VP, while if you're a black candidate for president and you let your children be interviewed for a few seconds on TV, you're irresponsibly exploiting them.

White privilege is being able to give a 36 minute speech in which you talk about lipstick and make fun of your opponent, while laying out no substantive policy positions on any issue at all, and still manage to be considered a legitimate candidate, while a black person who gives an hour speech the week before, in which he lays out specific policy proposals on several issues, is still criticized for being too vague about what he would do if elected.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to go to a prestigious prep school, then to Yale and then Harvard Business school, and yet, still be seen as just an average guy (George W. Bush) while being black, going to a prestigious prep school, then Occidental College, then Columbia, and then to Harvard Law, makes you "uppity," and a snob who probably looks down on regular folks.

White privilege is being able to graduate near the bottom of your college class (McCain), or graduate with a C average from Yale (W.) and that's OK, and you're cut out to be president, but if you're black and you graduate near the top of your class from Harvard Law, you can't be trusted to make good decisions in office.

White privilege is being able to dump your first wife after she's disfigured in a car crash so you can take up with a multi-millionaire beauty queen (who you go on to call the c-word in public) and still be thought of as a man of strong family values, while if you're black and married for nearly twenty years to the same woman, your family is viewed as un-American and your gestures of affection for each other are called "terrorist fist bumps."

White privilege is being able to sing a song about bombing Iran and still be viewed as a sober and rational statesman, with the maturity to be president, while being black and suggesting that the U.S. should speak with other nations, even when we have disagreements with them, makes you "dangerously naive and immature."

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism and an absent father is apparently among the "lesser adversities" faced by other politicians, as Sarah Palin explained in her convention speech.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Boring....

Long time no talk. Not a whole lot going on I guess. I haven’t felt the greatest lately; just a cold, cough, sore throat, headache type of thing, and been exhausted! Last weekend we were in my school’s intramural bowling tournament. So the team was me & Ivan, Jeff, Kara-who is a girl who teaches with Jeff and who is moving into our apartment complex in a couple weeks, Rowena-my supervisor who also lives in our apartment complex, and Rosemary, another COTA. It was a pretty good time. After that we grilled out at the pool with Jeff and his girlfriend Megan, Kara and a couple of her friends who are also teachers, Ryan-who teaches with Jeff & Kara and lives in our apartment complex, Rowena and a friend of hers, my friends Gretchen & Sebastian- Gretchen is a school psychologist that I worked with last year, Chris-who works with Ivan , and his wife Heidi, and a new neighbor we met, Larry, and his son Lewis. So it was nice to have everyone over. We just sat and grilled at the pool til dark, and then moved up to the apartment and played the Wii. The last of them left around 2 a.m. I think. And if you didn’t notice—our apartment complex is the place to be J Everyone’s moving in or already lives there, which is nice.

I had my interview the other day for the recreation assistant job. I’m pretty sure I wrote about that before. Our city has a great adaptive recreation program for special needs kids and they are hiring for someone to help out with that program. My friend Kelli’s husband Joe is the coordinator, so Kelli thought it would be a good idea for me since I was looking for something to volunteer with or whatever. So we’ll see.

It’s been raining and storming a lot lately so that is fun. It actually hailed last night, very exciting J Any change up in weather is welcomed by me!!

Work is ok. I can’t help but think about what I’d really like to be doing though. I was watching some fashion show the other day and it hit me that this woman literally loves what she does. She works like 900 hours a week but it doesn’t matter because she loves it, it’s not work for her. And that’s what I want!! But I don’t know what would make me feel that way… I always hear, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” I don’t know what that would be though. I know I want to get masters in Public Service. I know I want to work in international support—whether that is based in the US or abroad. I think it’s what I will love. What if it isn’t?
I asked Ivan last night, how do people just do the job they do everyday without loving it? Why do I feel like I’m the only person I know just sitting around not liking their job? I’m sure other people don’t like their jobs, but it’s like they accept it and live with it or something and they’re fine with it. I’m not. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either, but what if I never find something I am content with? Ivan says these people are satisfied with what they have… implying that maybe I’m not or I’m ungrateful or something like that. I disagree. I definitely know I have it good and I’m happy about that, I’m happy about the opportunities my job has afforded me; I just don’t like what I do. I can do it, and I can do it very well actually, but I want to be happy with my job. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, and wanting satisfaction from your job! I think it’s pretty important. I just don’t understand how people wake up everyday and go do their job, that they don’t love and might even hate, like it’s nothing. Certainly doesn’t excite me to get out of bed in the morning.

I’m taking steps towards what I want, I should be finished with my bachelors in about a year and have a masters program picked out—which is whole nother issue-but it’s the 1-2 years in between where I know it’s best (practically/financially) to continue doing what I do. Yuck. I just feel like I’m always wanting more, and not financially or material wise, experience-wise I guess.
Is there something wrong with me because I can’t be satisfied with what I have and where I live and what I do? Are other people more peaceful and content people than I am or something? Or is it just that I don’t settle?

Back to the masters program issue—the program is in Chicago. Originally I thought, I REALLY want to do THIS program but I don’t want to move back to the cold, at all. But recently I was thinking, a change would be nice, and I could deal with the cold. Chicago is a cool city, closer to home, and at maximum it would be 2 years. And before leaving California Ivan & I had talked about Chicago and he liked the idea. Before knowing we’d like Arizona so much our plan was to stay here long enough for Ivan to finish his masters, and then head towards Chicago. So I told Ivan yesterday that I was liking the idea of Chicago again and really feeling like this program is the answer for me. Now he’s not interested in cold weather or Chicago!! We’ll see… there’s still a good 2 years before that decision would need to be made. Ivan says he doesn’t want to move again without feeling like it’s a more permanent move. For one, Chicago could be a permanent move. It’s a big city so there’s plenty of opportunity there, and it’s closer to family. But secondly, why does anywhere or anything have to be permanent? I need to keep moving…although maybe if I was happier with my career than I wouldn’t need the change of scenery so much? Who knows. All I know is that right now I’m very, very, very bored in more ways than one.

Which always goes back to…does that mean I’m an unsatisfied and unhappy person? Or do I just genuinely like the excitement of change (I think that’s the case… but who knows!!)

Itchy Feet...

So being back to work has actually been good. I have my moments where I don't want to work at all--but don't we all? I still think about what would I rather be doing--you know sometimes I just want to be doing anything but what I do! Sometimes I want to work internationally, sometimes I want to be in social work, or counseling. So I don't know. What I can say is that I don't dislike my job when I'm doing it, it's when I'm thinking about work after the weekend or something. Who knows. Anyway, I have all new schools and a new supervisor, which means, all new kids! These kids are so much more needy than my kids last year. It's been keeping me busy, which actually helps me enjoy my job more. I had a classroom assistant stop in my office today and tell me that I was great! Ahh, moments like that are nice too--even if I don't necessarily love what I do, I'm doing ok at it :) I had known that the OT's who were previously at my school--who have moved on--weren't doing everything they needed to do last year but I had no idea. The classroom assistant told me that the OT last year just sat in the room and observed and gossiped about parents!! The thing is, these kids really need some therapy! Plus, in the world of therapy, sadly, you run into this a lot. We have a lot of freedom and plenty of people abuse it. I know how easy it would be to not do my job at all...but at the same time, it's just as easy to do my job! It's not a difficult job...I play with kids all day..! Yes there's some thought and planning behind why we play what we play, but the bottom line is that when working with kids, you play a lot! And it just gives other therapists a bad name. People are always skeptical when you come in...'what if this therapist doesn't do anything for us either?' On the flip side of that, it doesn't take much for people to think you're great when you follow a bad act! I mean, I've only been seeing kids for 2 weeks and I already got the "you're great" comment. Simply because I am actually treating them. And it means more coming from this particular person because she has a special needs child and deals with therapists all the time. Anyway, that was cool...

So I'm getting itchy feet. I want to go somewhere!! I'm torn between being responsible and paying off some bills, and flying somewhere for a long weekend. I have a fall break in October and I've looked into tickets to Calgary (to see one of the girls I volunteered with in Africa), Miami (to stay in Key Largo), Austin (to see Ivan's sister), Providence (to see my penpal), or coming home... But then I get a nagging feeling that I should just stay in AZ, pay some bills and hang here. Ivan will be gone that weekend--it's his birthday weekend and he always goes home to St. Louis/Jacksonville for his birthday. Ahhh! I don't know...