Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Old folks are cool!

So I got a part time job doing therapy in the nursing homes. What I enjoy the most is just chillin' with these old people. It's a nice change from the kids, being able to have a regular--ok fairly regular conversation--with someone. And I'm only there for 2-3 hours at a time, so that's nice too. You don't have time to get sick of anything.

So today, one of my patients was a deaf woman, who could read lips like nobody's business, and she could speak very well too-- I think she just was given the title of legally deaf recently. Anyway, you know what she wanted to talk about? Celebrity gossip. She's right up my alley. We talked about Mel Gibson, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake...it was hilarious.

Then I saw a guy who was from Hungary, a senator from Hungary-- so imagine a wonderful Russian sounding accent ok. I meet him, and he tells me several times that he thinks I'm an angel, that heaven sent to help "learn him" things--things about his arms and things for his mind. He's so thankful to meet me and have me help him. Do you think my kids say this to me? Let me help you out...they don't. They might kick and scream and cry on the floor, refuse to walk, or they'll run away. Yea, sometimes they love me, sometimes they don't, but they never say I'm an angel that they're thankful for! A nice change. And we talked about politics & traveling. And I actually spoke to his daughter on the phone...weird.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

What I'm Learning...

As you know I'm learning more about "The Secret," which is the law of attraction-- like things attract like things. Meaning, good thoughts attract good things, bad thoughts attract bad things. I ordered the DVD, and Ivan bought me the book. I can't put it down! I am feverishly note-taking, and writing down what I want, what I'm gratfeul for, and what makes me happy! Notice how I didn't say anything about what I don't want... :)

What I've learned is that when asking for things, negative words aren't recognized. So for example, if you were to say "I don't want to get sick." You can just take the don't right out of it (I want to get sick) and that's what you'll get! Not because you might truly want that, but because the negative word isn't acknowledged! So what should have been said there? "I want to be healthy!"

There are 3 steps. 1. ASK...ask for what you want (I want a million dollars!) 2. BELIEVE...believe that you will receive it, and believe that you already have it. This is the tricky part I think because obviously if I had a million dollars I'd be on a shopping spree. But what they say is to believe you have it, so maybe you can't really go on that spree, but you can be picking out what you want! Or you can be on the spree and just believing that the money will come and so you don't need to worry about buying that stuff! 3. RECEIVE...be happy, be giving off the good vibes, and you will receive what you asked for.

Sounds like some hokey poke nonsense huh? So what if it is...What do you have to lose by believing? What do you have to lose by choosing to be happy? What do you have to lose by having faith that life will be good and you will receive the things you want? Nothing...or everything depending on how you look at it :)

I'd say, read the book or watch the DVD and decide for yourself. The worst that happens, is that you are happy and have faith and are grateful...Not so bad.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

"The Secret"

If you know me, which if you're reading this, you do...you know that I am a faithful Oprah viewer and I really think her shows and her life are a good example of what people should strive to be like...

Anyway, did anyone see the episode about "The Secret"? And they talked about it again yesterday. Ok, I was literally taking notes as I watched so I could remember the phrases that really spoke to me. Whether you believe in anything that they talked about or not, some things that were said just seemed like good words to try & live by. To re-cap-- basically what they said is that the energy you put out to the world is what you get back-- so if you're a negative person, you will continue that cycle of negativity, and vice versa with positive energy-- what got more complex is that they are saying how we are all "energy" so it's literally the energy that you put out there. Anyway, that's not important to get into to get the key things that I really liked...so here they are:

*Life is not meant to be a struggle.
Now, I can honestly say that my life isn't a struggle. I have the issues that anyone has with money or weight or whatever, but overall I have it good. But I liked hearing this because 1. I think people sometimes make things worse than they need to be or overdramatize a lot of things, and 2. the people who do have a real struggle, well it's kinda hopeful and could show them that it's all about choice.

*Trying is failing with honor.
The example they gave was if you ask someone to a dinner party and they say "Oh I'll try to make it." We all know that means they're not coming. There is only doing and not doing. Sometimes I like to say "Well all I can do is try" or something along those lines...and when I think about that, I think I'm really saying "I'm not doing all that I need to do, I know I'm not trying my hardest." Think about it :) There's no need to say you're "trying" something, if you already doing it, say I'm DOING IT!

*Mediocrity always attacks excellence.
We all know this...it's jealousy. Whether you are feeling that towards someone else who is doing well and you wish you were too, suddenly you find yourself wishing them harm or bad mouthing them (I know I do this...I'm changing) Or whether you are the one is doing great and find someone being negative to you...
P.S.-I made a conscious effort to write "I'm changing" instead of "I'm trying to change"...you either are or you aren't. And I think looking at it that way makes you believe it faster too :) Mind over matter.

*Unforgiveness is a form of self abuse.

*True forgiveness is "giving up the hope that the past could have been any different" and being able to say "Thank you for giving me that experience."

*Unwillingness to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
There was a lot that they said about forgiveness that I liked. I've heard a couple of those things before. Along the lines of "you don't forgive for the other peson, you forgive for yourself." Odds are in most cases, whoever you are mad at doesn't even know you are, or care, so being mad isn't punishing them at all! Only yourself.

*Gratitude.
This is the biggest thing I think. To be truly grateful for what you have. Focus on what you want in life, not what you don't want. For example-- saying "I want financial freedom" instead of saying "I don't want to be broke." They say, unless you are grateful for what is already in your life, you can't invite anything new/good into it. To get what you want, you need to appreciate what you already have.

They also talked about maybe heaven & hell are happening right now, it's not some "place" you go to. Whatever choices you make in your life, whatever you create for it, makes your own personal heaven or hell right now! They quoted some stuff from the bible too to kinda back that up but I can't remember it right now :) It was interesting.

So anyway, I am really anxious to learn more about "The Secret" and just try to keep it's priniciples in mind on a daily basis...thought I'd share it with you. And if you want more info you can go to www.thesecret.tv

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

What to Do...

I can't figure out what to do after this contract is up on June 15th. I have no idea! We could basically do whatever we want...and that makes it hard. Ivan isn't much help, being the super laid back person that he is, he's fine with just about every scenario I come up with! Doesn't really have an opinion one way or another. So here's what's running through my head:

1. Move to Orange County for the summer, get like a 10 week contract because I need to be home Labor Day Weekend for Erin Springer's wedding...anyway, move there and do the beach thing, and then see what happens in the fall (although we are leaning towards staying in California again...that always happens, even though a month ago I swore I needed the heck outta here!)

2. Come home for the summer until after Erin's wedding, and then come back to California-- either get a job or not, but just be at home for about 11 weeks.

3. Go somewhere else...like Miami for the summer, come home at the end for a couple of weeks for Erin's wedding/visiting, then come back to California.

4. Take a month off work and just rent a beach house here or in Florida and just be bums.

5. Take a volunteer vacation that I've been wanting to do for years now... I really want to do one in South Africa, but it's super expensive, so there are some in Mexico that could be a good time. Meanwhile, Ivan would be homeless or have to go back to St. Louis... :(

If we're doing a pros/cons thing... the best financial option is to move to the OC, this way I have an income, Ivan would most likely be able to drive to his same job.

The downside of Miami is that Ivan wouldn't have a job probably. We talked about him getting an internship or something so then it wouldn't just be a complete wash for him. If it was unpaid at least he'd get some experience.

The downside of home is that again, Ivan's income would be questionable, BUT we wouldn't have living expenses to worry about.

The fun factor though... duh, is taking time off work and just being bums here, Florida, or at home...at home we have all our friends & family, but the other places have the ocean and stuff that we haven't done before. I dunno!!!

I was daydreaming about my internship in the Keys a couple years ago and thought, there is no reason why I can't do that again-- just not with the internship. Just rent a condo and lay out & boat & all that stuff all summer. Especially if I make a decision now and save up money for the summer.

Then there's always that responsible voice saying...you need to just work or else you'll never be able to buy a house and settle down. Boo! I am only 25. So I need to do the fun stuff now. Thanks for pointing that out :) But WHERE? Do I skip the Mexico volunteering to keep saving up for South Africa? OR do I go ahead and do Mexico to get a taste and satisfy that urge until I have money for South Africa? Do I have fun in the OC where I will make better money than in Florida and Ivan still has a job?? OR do I head to Florida for a change and give Ivan the summer off... Or do I come home and be a bum and drink a lot for 3 months, but live cheap?

Please give me your opinions on this one...Because I don't know what the heck to do. I tell my recruiter like every other day about a different idea I had and in about a month or two I will actually have to make a decision...scary!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Yo Yo

So I need to get myself motivated again. Yes, I'm training for a marathon...but you know, I need to do more than that. I'm thinking back to last year when I had my trainer and I was going to boot camp 3 days a week...I loved it! It's pretty pathetic that at this point in my life I can't start something & stick to it (as far as exercise/eating habits go). I have done so much, tried so many things, taken so many classes, had multiple trainers, tried different "diets" and I know exactly what works, what doesn't, I know the science behind things, I could train people at this point. And yet, when I get to a point that I'm happy with, I stop. And you can't do that. Duh! I know this as well. And I actually enjoy the work outs, I enjoy the sweat, I enjoy the benefits...why quit? A psychologist might say that I sabotage myself, that maybe I think I don't deserve to look & feel good. That's not it!! I deserve it! I work my ass off!! And then I reward myself with taking a "break." Which doubles as punishment when I gain it back and start to feel gross again, and each time gets a little worse than the time before.
For the past let's see...since I think 2002 is the first time I ever really lost weight, at least it's the smallest I remember being...well that's when the cycle began. I lose about 30 pounds...feel great, gain it back, spend 6 months losing it, and 6 months gaining it. That has truthfully been the cycle since 2002! And it's February now, right about the time I start to think "I need to do something about this." Right on schedule... :)
I'd love for all of this cycle stuff to stop. Because it really doesn't make sense. I actually love being active. The eating...ok no, I don't like to eat right. But at least if I got the exercise part down I'd have a bit more freedom on the eating side of it... Anyway, like I was saying, if you were to ask me what things I enjoy or what I want to try or what goals I have in life-- they all have to do with some activity...so what's the problem? I like hiking, I want to try rock climbing, I like kayaking and want to do it more, I want to do a triathlon...I would love to join a soccer league... so why do I end up on the couch? Crazy...
It's one reason I'd like to stay in California. The weather allows you to be outside all year and the environment offers any type of activity you could think of. It's a great place to be if you want to be active.
Anyway...I will let you know how this all goes...I might turn to you for motivation..or at least to keep me honest. That's what my trainer was always good for. I had to write down what I ate, weighed in with her, and we always had scheduled times to work out you know? I had to be accountable to someone besides myself. Obviously the goal would be to not need someone else...but clearly I'm not there yet...

Friday, February 09, 2007

1/2 Marathon

Last weekend I had my half marathon (13.1 miles) in Huntington Beach. It was good. I felt great until about mile 10-- then I started getting some aches & pains, blisters, so I walked most of the last 3 miles. It was a beautiful day, about 80 degrees, sunny (my face got burnt) and running on the Pacific Coast Highway looking out at the ocean. You really can't get much better than that, especially in February! After the race, as a team we took the ice bath in the pacific. We all walked in, fully clothed, and took a beating from the waves (about 50-60 degrees) for 15 minutes. It was one of the funnest things ever! It just proved that it doesn't matter how cold the water is, you can still have fun at the beach. And that is my favorite thing to do anyway-- just stand there and jump into the waves. And the undertow that day was crazy! It was great. If you want to look at pics of where we ran and race day info you can go to this website: www.psmarathon.com

Then we went over to Breigh & Joe's for the superbowl...YAY COLTS!! Very happy camper right here. And the food was so good, so good, so good!

I got that second job I've been talking about getting for 2 years now. I start on Monday because we have school off on Monday. Very excited about it too. I'll be working in a nursing home. I'm just ready to learn something outside of the schools so I'm not trapped. It'll be great experience and also nice to meet some more new people. Not to mention, the extra money is always wonderful.

Oh, Nike is starting this thing here in L.A...they might have it in other big cities but I don't know, I've only heard that it's here. Anyway, they have the Nike Top 20 running locations in LA county. I heard about it from my TNT coach and planned to go on Thursday before work but it didn't work out. So then I found that they do it 20 different trails in the area all at different times, so I can find ones that are closer to me (his is in west L.A.---coming back to East L.A. would be very difficult in the morning!!) and in the evening, so I don't have to get up at 5:00 to run...not my cup of tea really :) So, hopefully I'll start doing that, and Ivan can too. Once again, another way to meet people! And I've been wanting to find more trails out here, and there are tons! So without even knowing it, apparently I have started to seek out running opportunities. I have to be honest though, it's not the act of running itself that I like-- some people get the runner's highs and all this stuff. That is NOT ME! I enjoy completing a course, I enjoy the challenge, I enjoy seeing new places, and I really enjoy the people. And apparently running has turned out to be the way to get all those things. In a team sport, there's too much pressure for me. I can't take letting anyone down if I didn't do my job, but with running/walking, there's no pressure from anywhere, there's no let down, it's only what you can do. I like that it's individual, but at the same time, you still feel like a team when you're with the other people. During my race on Sunday, I spent those first 10 miles walking/running with a TNT person from a different team, just talking and keeping each other motivated. We joined up with other people moving at our pace and by the end of the time you've met some great people you didn't know before you started! That's what I like about it. I keep saying that I'd like to continue doing 5k's & 10k's, but I will never again feel a need to do a marathon or 1/2 marathon...the other day I found myself on a website about to sign up for a 1/2 in San Diego...what the heck?

Friday, February 02, 2007

Hey there!

Hello! Today was a good day :) I don't know why. It was just one of those days where I was driving down the street and thought, you know, I do like California. Some days, I can't say that. I think it's partly because Ivan and I are planning a vacation (trying to plan one) and so that's exciting. And when we're trying to figure out where to go, there's so many choices nearby that it made me re-appreciate California...we could drive to Mexico, Catalina Island (ok we have to take a boat for this one), Las Vegas, Yosemite, San Francisco, Lake Havasu, Lake Tahoe, the Grand Canyon-- they are all within 2-7 hours away. AND, a flight to Hawaii is a few hundred dollars and about 6-10 hours less of flight time from home! Kinda amazing really. Not to mention, there really is a lot to do right outside our door, people could spend an entire vacation in L.A. and that's where we live...and clearly take for granted. Anyway, we are thinking about Rosarito, Mexico. It's just about 20 miles across the border, so we could drive--or rent a car, or take a bus from San Diego, whichever, it's still only about 2 hours away. And the resorts are dirt cheap. We can't even stay in a hotel across the street from our apartment for that cheap, and in Mexico you are beach front. The massages & spa services are cheaper. I told Ivan, I just want to stay somewhere drinking cheap fruity drinks, laying by the pool or on the beach. Preferably, not in this country, just so it feels like a real vacation. So 4 nights across the border sounds fabulous. My parents are coming to visit on spring break, so we're thinking that after we take them to the airport, we'll head south :) Hopefully it all works out, we'll see!

Sunday is another training race-- a half-marathon in Huntington Beach. That's 13.1 miles, 8 of which are on the Pacific Coast Highway looking at the ocean! Another reason I'm appreciating California right now. I'm so looking forward to that race. Plus, I guess it's tradition to run in the freezing Pacific afterwards for a little natural "ice bath." And yes, I'm pumped for that too. I will have Ivan take pictures.

After the race we're heading to Breigh & Joe's (friends from Rancho) for the superbowl...which again, I'm oddly excited for. I have a crush on Peyton Manning, so you know, I am rootin' for the COLTS! I love him :) Not to mention, Breigh & Joe love to make food for people, and they are awesome cooks! Yum!

What else...Lucy started day care this week. Thus far, we haven't had anymore complaints from the bitch upstairs, but I dunno if that means Lucy's not barking or just that the woman is giving us a chance to fix it. Whenever I come home I knock on the door and ring the bell and Lucy doesn't bark, she runs to the door and kinda wimpers, but doesn't bark when she has the collar on. So anyway, I decided to take her to day care a couple days a week too to give her some play time, excerise, and a break from the citrinilla! She is so pooped when she gets home. It's great. Just to see that she has gotten to play so much.

Well...I guess that's about it. LET'S GO PEYTON!!