Not much

Not much to say just thought I'd check in. I got the job for the recreation assistant; I have my orientation in about a week and then I'll start. I have quite a few students who participate in the sports, and students I had last year who do too. So I think it'll be fun.

Work's been pretty good. I know I get on here and complain about it pretty frequently, but I've been feeling pretty good about it. I'm so much busier than I was last year, or any other year really, which just keeps me occupied, focused, and happy. It's when I get bored that my mind wanders! Aside from having more students, more needy students, I feel like I've been putting more into than I normally have. Which you know, when you give more you get more.

I'm back to reading "A New Earth." Which if you remember is a book that was introduced on none other than Oprah (come on, by now you should know that is where I get all my information....I can't help it if me & Oprah are on the same page!) So anyway that's the book where she & the author had a 'class' online to discuss each chapter and everything. The classes are still available on her website so I am following along with those now, because the book can be a little heavy in some spots and the extra discussion is really helpful. It's really all about finding inner peace and thinking positive and all that stuff. And we all know I'm a HUGE believer in positive thinking. It's always nice to be reminded of that and learn new ways of thinking.

Ivan & I went and saw "Nights In Rodanthe" tonight...ummm.... I don't even wanna say it because I was so excited to see this movie...but I really wasn't impressed! I didn't even feel anything throughout the whole movie. I like Diane Lane and Richard Gere and I just expected more I guess? Something didn't click for me, and Ivan felt the same way. But it was so weird, I expected a lot of couples there and was surprised I guess when I saw gobs and gobs of women! And not so many couples. It was so weird--and they'd all laugh, and I'd hear them sniffling or gasping and it just kinda made me wanna puke. I told Ivan--I love Oprah but I don't know if I could go watch it live because there would be too many women! They just bug and give us all a bad name for being so....womanly?! I dunno. Weird.

Still contemplating what to do next summer. Megan and I will be making some arrangements while I'm home over Christmas so I need to figure out if I'm traveling after Europe or coming back home. I go back and forth. I'm worried if I book it I'll be ready to come home after Europe and then I'll be going to Africa for 2-4 weeks. And the communication won't be as readily available in Europe or Africa this time. You know? Ahhh we'll see!

Anyway, guess I'll go.

What to do, where to go...

What to do...so I'm thinking about my plans for next summer because I'll need to start saving depending on what I'm doing.

So I'll be going to Europe with Megan for 3-4 weeks, but I'm not sure what want to do after that. Here's what I'm thinking about (although ALL of this is based on how much money it costs and what I can save).

1- Just come home after Europe. That would leave me a long summer at home still--could visit people here in the states and just hang out.

2- Go volunteer with a program I'm looking at in either Kenya or Tanzania. Which would be fun to do something different--new people, new place, new experience.

3- Go back to South Africa for a couple weeks to visit people. This could be fun to see the few people still there and volunteer and just hang out. Although there's a chance it could be a disappointment because I'd be going back to something different you know? I have these memories and I'd not being going back to the same place I left behind...But my reasoning for going back so soon is because the kids that I know will still be there will still be young, close to how I left them you know? And I have this hope of course that I'll magically be able to see Lona...

4- Do both...after Europe go to Kenya or Tanzania, and then to South Africa. This would obviously cost the most and have me gone for the entire summer. So I don't know even know if that's a real possibility financially, but it's an idea.

I don't know. They all have their ups and downs.

Thanks Barack!!

So I went online and sent a thing to my state senators (of Illinois that is, since I'm technically still a resident, so that's OBAMA! and Dick Durbin) because I was watching Oprah the other day (duh!) about online sexual predators. Whoah. I was crying because I was just in disbelief of what happens... people actually stream live video of rape and molestation, and people seek this out to watch it, people make how-to guides on rape--both in print and video--from infants to teens. Just really sick stuff.

So anyway, there is an act that needs to be passed in order to provide more funding to bust these guys--because basically right now they have the technology to find them, but there's so many of them and not enough law enforcement to do much about it.

So, I copied the form letter to my senators and even checked the box that says "no response needed," and I got a response from Obama! Now, now I realize it's a standard response that went out to everyone writing about this act, but I still appreciated the response! And I liked what it had to say-- cosponsored this act, and guess who introduced it? Biden! YAY! So anyway, here's what it said:

Dear Chelsey:

Thank you for contacting me in support of S. 1738, the Combating Child Exploitation Act of 2008. I appreciate hearing from you and glad we agree on the need for this legislation. As a lawmaker, and as a father of two young girls, I assure you that protecting our nation's children from abuse and exploitation is a top priority.

Like you, I am concerned about the threat of sexual predators online and the easy access to profanity, violence, and vulgarity on the Internet. These threats are all too real and pervasive in our society, but we are far from powerless to fight them. By supporting and enhancing local and national law enforcement efforts, we can put an end to the scourge of child exploitation.

That is why I am proud that I cosponsored S. 1738. This legislation requires the Attorney General to appoint a Special Counsel for Child Exploitation Prevention and Interdiction within the Office of Deputy Attorney General to coordinate Department of Justice policies and strategies for the prevention and investigation of child exploitation cases. The bill also establishes an Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force (ICAC Task Force), consisting of state and local task forces to address online enticement of children, child exploitation, and child obscenity and pornography cases, and requires the Attorney General to establish a National Internet Crimes Against Children Data Network Center to assist the ICAC Task Force program and federal, state, local, and tribal agencies investigating and prosecuting child exploitation.

As you know, S. 1738 was introduced by Senator Biden (D-DE) on June 28, 2007, and reported out of the Judiciary Committee on July 7, 2008. A companion measure was passed in the House of Representatives by an overwhelming majority of 415 to 2 late last year. I will support every effort to get this important legislation signed into law.

Please be assured that I will continue to work to find solutions that will make our children safer and strengthen America's most vulnerable families. I hope you will stay in touch during this process.

Again, thank you for writing.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama
United States Senator

White Privilege?

**Interesting article a friend of mine posted. Sad but true in a lot of these examples...**

This is Your Nation on White Privilege By Tim Wise9/13/08

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto is "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college and the fact that she lives close to Russia--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because suddenly your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is when you can take nearly twenty-four hours to get to a hospital after beginning to leak amniotic fluid, and still be viewed as a great mom whose commitment to her children is unquestionable, and whose "next door neighbor" qualities make her ready to be VP, while if you're a black candidate for president and you let your children be interviewed for a few seconds on TV, you're irresponsibly exploiting them.

White privilege is being able to give a 36 minute speech in which you talk about lipstick and make fun of your opponent, while laying out no substantive policy positions on any issue at all, and still manage to be considered a legitimate candidate, while a black person who gives an hour speech the week before, in which he lays out specific policy proposals on several issues, is still criticized for being too vague about what he would do if elected.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to go to a prestigious prep school, then to Yale and then Harvard Business school, and yet, still be seen as just an average guy (George W. Bush) while being black, going to a prestigious prep school, then Occidental College, then Columbia, and then to Harvard Law, makes you "uppity," and a snob who probably looks down on regular folks.

White privilege is being able to graduate near the bottom of your college class (McCain), or graduate with a C average from Yale (W.) and that's OK, and you're cut out to be president, but if you're black and you graduate near the top of your class from Harvard Law, you can't be trusted to make good decisions in office.

White privilege is being able to dump your first wife after she's disfigured in a car crash so you can take up with a multi-millionaire beauty queen (who you go on to call the c-word in public) and still be thought of as a man of strong family values, while if you're black and married for nearly twenty years to the same woman, your family is viewed as un-American and your gestures of affection for each other are called "terrorist fist bumps."

White privilege is being able to sing a song about bombing Iran and still be viewed as a sober and rational statesman, with the maturity to be president, while being black and suggesting that the U.S. should speak with other nations, even when we have disagreements with them, makes you "dangerously naive and immature."

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism and an absent father is apparently among the "lesser adversities" faced by other politicians, as Sarah Palin explained in her convention speech.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Boring....

Long time no talk. Not a whole lot going on I guess. I haven’t felt the greatest lately; just a cold, cough, sore throat, headache type of thing, and been exhausted! Last weekend we were in my school’s intramural bowling tournament. So the team was me & Ivan, Jeff, Kara-who is a girl who teaches with Jeff and who is moving into our apartment complex in a couple weeks, Rowena-my supervisor who also lives in our apartment complex, and Rosemary, another COTA. It was a pretty good time. After that we grilled out at the pool with Jeff and his girlfriend Megan, Kara and a couple of her friends who are also teachers, Ryan-who teaches with Jeff & Kara and lives in our apartment complex, Rowena and a friend of hers, my friends Gretchen & Sebastian- Gretchen is a school psychologist that I worked with last year, Chris-who works with Ivan , and his wife Heidi, and a new neighbor we met, Larry, and his son Lewis. So it was nice to have everyone over. We just sat and grilled at the pool til dark, and then moved up to the apartment and played the Wii. The last of them left around 2 a.m. I think. And if you didn’t notice—our apartment complex is the place to be J Everyone’s moving in or already lives there, which is nice.

I had my interview the other day for the recreation assistant job. I’m pretty sure I wrote about that before. Our city has a great adaptive recreation program for special needs kids and they are hiring for someone to help out with that program. My friend Kelli’s husband Joe is the coordinator, so Kelli thought it would be a good idea for me since I was looking for something to volunteer with or whatever. So we’ll see.

It’s been raining and storming a lot lately so that is fun. It actually hailed last night, very exciting J Any change up in weather is welcomed by me!!

Work is ok. I can’t help but think about what I’d really like to be doing though. I was watching some fashion show the other day and it hit me that this woman literally loves what she does. She works like 900 hours a week but it doesn’t matter because she loves it, it’s not work for her. And that’s what I want!! But I don’t know what would make me feel that way… I always hear, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” I don’t know what that would be though. I know I want to get masters in Public Service. I know I want to work in international support—whether that is based in the US or abroad. I think it’s what I will love. What if it isn’t?
I asked Ivan last night, how do people just do the job they do everyday without loving it? Why do I feel like I’m the only person I know just sitting around not liking their job? I’m sure other people don’t like their jobs, but it’s like they accept it and live with it or something and they’re fine with it. I’m not. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either, but what if I never find something I am content with? Ivan says these people are satisfied with what they have… implying that maybe I’m not or I’m ungrateful or something like that. I disagree. I definitely know I have it good and I’m happy about that, I’m happy about the opportunities my job has afforded me; I just don’t like what I do. I can do it, and I can do it very well actually, but I want to be happy with my job. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, and wanting satisfaction from your job! I think it’s pretty important. I just don’t understand how people wake up everyday and go do their job, that they don’t love and might even hate, like it’s nothing. Certainly doesn’t excite me to get out of bed in the morning.

I’m taking steps towards what I want, I should be finished with my bachelors in about a year and have a masters program picked out—which is whole nother issue-but it’s the 1-2 years in between where I know it’s best (practically/financially) to continue doing what I do. Yuck. I just feel like I’m always wanting more, and not financially or material wise, experience-wise I guess.
Is there something wrong with me because I can’t be satisfied with what I have and where I live and what I do? Are other people more peaceful and content people than I am or something? Or is it just that I don’t settle?

Back to the masters program issue—the program is in Chicago. Originally I thought, I REALLY want to do THIS program but I don’t want to move back to the cold, at all. But recently I was thinking, a change would be nice, and I could deal with the cold. Chicago is a cool city, closer to home, and at maximum it would be 2 years. And before leaving California Ivan & I had talked about Chicago and he liked the idea. Before knowing we’d like Arizona so much our plan was to stay here long enough for Ivan to finish his masters, and then head towards Chicago. So I told Ivan yesterday that I was liking the idea of Chicago again and really feeling like this program is the answer for me. Now he’s not interested in cold weather or Chicago!! We’ll see… there’s still a good 2 years before that decision would need to be made. Ivan says he doesn’t want to move again without feeling like it’s a more permanent move. For one, Chicago could be a permanent move. It’s a big city so there’s plenty of opportunity there, and it’s closer to family. But secondly, why does anywhere or anything have to be permanent? I need to keep moving…although maybe if I was happier with my career than I wouldn’t need the change of scenery so much? Who knows. All I know is that right now I’m very, very, very bored in more ways than one.

Which always goes back to…does that mean I’m an unsatisfied and unhappy person? Or do I just genuinely like the excitement of change (I think that’s the case… but who knows!!)

Itchy Feet...

So being back to work has actually been good. I have my moments where I don't want to work at all--but don't we all? I still think about what would I rather be doing--you know sometimes I just want to be doing anything but what I do! Sometimes I want to work internationally, sometimes I want to be in social work, or counseling. So I don't know. What I can say is that I don't dislike my job when I'm doing it, it's when I'm thinking about work after the weekend or something. Who knows. Anyway, I have all new schools and a new supervisor, which means, all new kids! These kids are so much more needy than my kids last year. It's been keeping me busy, which actually helps me enjoy my job more. I had a classroom assistant stop in my office today and tell me that I was great! Ahh, moments like that are nice too--even if I don't necessarily love what I do, I'm doing ok at it :) I had known that the OT's who were previously at my school--who have moved on--weren't doing everything they needed to do last year but I had no idea. The classroom assistant told me that the OT last year just sat in the room and observed and gossiped about parents!! The thing is, these kids really need some therapy! Plus, in the world of therapy, sadly, you run into this a lot. We have a lot of freedom and plenty of people abuse it. I know how easy it would be to not do my job at all...but at the same time, it's just as easy to do my job! It's not a difficult job...I play with kids all day..! Yes there's some thought and planning behind why we play what we play, but the bottom line is that when working with kids, you play a lot! And it just gives other therapists a bad name. People are always skeptical when you come in...'what if this therapist doesn't do anything for us either?' On the flip side of that, it doesn't take much for people to think you're great when you follow a bad act! I mean, I've only been seeing kids for 2 weeks and I already got the "you're great" comment. Simply because I am actually treating them. And it means more coming from this particular person because she has a special needs child and deals with therapists all the time. Anyway, that was cool...

So I'm getting itchy feet. I want to go somewhere!! I'm torn between being responsible and paying off some bills, and flying somewhere for a long weekend. I have a fall break in October and I've looked into tickets to Calgary (to see one of the girls I volunteered with in Africa), Miami (to stay in Key Largo), Austin (to see Ivan's sister), Providence (to see my penpal), or coming home... But then I get a nagging feeling that I should just stay in AZ, pay some bills and hang here. Ivan will be gone that weekend--it's his birthday weekend and he always goes home to St. Louis/Jacksonville for his birthday. Ahhh! I don't know...

Special Friend

Tonight I had dinner & paperwork with a woman from "Parenting Arizona." That is the organization that has the 'Special Friend' program, which is like Big Brothers/Big Sisters for foster kids. So, within a month I should be matched with a girl in the area who needs a mentor :) I'm excited. All the while this woman was talking about various circumstances these kids have gone through and things like that and I had to keep myself from tearing up. I think mostly because it made me think of my kids left behind in Africa. My friend Bonnie (a volunteer from Australia) who's super funny by the way, was just joking with me that I shouldn't fret about Lona because one day she'll "set out in the world looking for her soul mum--the woman with the bandanna from Home of Hope." haha Then she said I should have got 2 lockets, one for me & one for Lona with a picture of me in Lona's so she can find me someday :) Too funny. And yet I'm crazy enough that 20 years from now I'll probably be sitting here going...maybe Lona will walk through the door.... haha I'm the kind of person who is sure that I will win the lotto every time I play, and still thinks Santa might actually be leaving those gifts...wishful thinking but I don't care!

A Long Way Gone

So I read a new book yesterday...yes, just yesterday. Actually I started it around 9:00 Saturday night and finished it last night.

Anyway, it's called "A Long Way Gone" and is the memoir of a former child soldier in Sierra Leone. Clearly it was good because I couldn't even put it down. I've seen this kind of stuff in "Blood Diamond" and I've heard about it in various news articles and things like that. But it is so hard to wrap my head around. As I was reading I couldn't believe the things that happened and as a story alone it was so crazy, but to really try and believe that this was someone's life, this stuff REALLY happened, is crazy.

If you're looking for a goodie, read it. Which in itself is such a weird thing to say, because it's someone's life...

What to do?

So I talked to some people at Home of Hope and they have assured me that while there was some confusion at first, Lona is going into a foster home within her community...so with a family. Which is good I guess. Eleanor has told me that it's definitely better for the kids to be in a family setting than a group home setting, which I know is true, I just hope it's a good family. You know? Eleanor also said they can still check in on the families. I'm still sad. But I guess this is a step in the right direction. So that's that.

Going back to work has been good. I stayed in the same school district (first time for me!) but they gave me all new schools and a new supervisor. On the one hand I totally miss my supervisor because I liked her and we worked really well together, and I loved my kids & the teachers I worked with. But you know I like change. So I'm enjoying getting to meet new kids, teachers & schools. It will keep me from getting bored, at least for awhile. And my new supervisor is cool too. She's young but has a few years experience and I think we'll get along great. This week was just organizing our treatment rooms and setting up our schedules. Kinda fun. Next week we start seeing kids. I think I'm going to have a more challenging year than I had last year, which is fine. Just from first view, it looks like I have some lower level kids than I had previously--but I've had super low kids in California so it's nothing I can't handle. Just different than last year.

I'm on a break from my classes because my computer is broke, hopefully getting that fixed in the next couple weeks, because I need to be busy! I have all this free time I'm not completely used to having and frankly it's driving me crazy. Me & Nan (my coworker) always talk about how people need to enjoy just "being"....but I had a revelation: you have to have the doing part to appreciate the being! As with everything, it's about balance. So anyway, in the next few weeks I should start the "American Friend" volunteering I've been talking about for a year. Apparently my name got lost off the list of people who wanted to volunteer! That ended up being ok since I was gone for the summer but I've been in touch and now that I'm back it should be kicking off soon. Refresher: that's where I will be paired with a refugee family and teaching them about America and living with modern conveniences they may not know anything about. And I am going to be starting another volunteer thing too. It's a lot like being a Big Brother/Big Sister, but it's called the "Special Friend" program and you are paired with foster children. One thing is that I need to occupy my time, I enjoy volunteering, and after working with my kids in Africa I feel a little bit more connected to the cause of helping foster kids. Nan actually introduced me to this program. She & her husband volunteered with them for like 15 years. I wanted to find something Ivan & I could do together. He would rather do something with an organization than a specific child--such as volunteering in group homes or something. I'm hoping I'll get more information about group homes and what we can do there through this program, but also, now that he's started his Masters program he's a bit busier as well and won't have the time to volunteer like I hoped. He's also on a softball team and looking into a basketball team. So we'll have to save the volunteering together for another time I think. Oh speaking of teams, we're not bowling this year. We had fun but we all agreed we didn't really miss it that much either. We might try to find a shorter season to participate in. Sometimes they have seasons that are for just 10-12 weeks, which would be so much better than the 37 week one we were in!! Plus, my school district has intramural sports going on here & there. In fact in a couple weeks they are having a one-day bowling competition that I got a team together for. Should be fun :)

Anyway, gotta go. We're going to go rent a movie I think. Earlier we went and saw, "Tropic Thunder." Very funny!!

Bittersweet...mostly bitter

Lona is being transferred to a different children's home. Apparently they think she'll have a better chance at being adopted in a different home...I don't know why.

1. For selfish reasons, I don't want her to be adopted! I want her! And I'll never know anything more about her.

2. However, I can see that IF she's adopted it will be a good move obviously.

3. The new home will likely not be as good as Home of Hope... which is sad

4. Sad, especially if she doesn't end up getting adopted: new crappy home, changing her environment unnecessarily, still unadopted, and I still won't know anything more about her.

The only good thing is if it actually works and she gets adopted...

This sucks.

Just throwing it out there

You know Megan & I are planning our European vacation next summer.

Well after that I'm considering 'swinging' by Africa for a bit. If anyone's interested in coming get in touch with me. You know I'll do it alone regardless, but I thought since I survived it once already maybe more people would realize they could/wanted to do it. Anyway, this is the organization I'm looking into going with: www.eliabroad.org One of my beloved roomies from South Africa volunteered in Tanzania through them and LOVED it! Plus it is so much cheaper than any other program I've seen (and I've done my research!)

I'm looking at Tanzania working with special needs kids or Kenya in a "work camp." The work camps have a huge variety of things to do--teaching, counseling, farming.
This is all of course based on time & money so it might not happen, but it's something I'd really like to do. And again, based on time & money, maybe a quick trip to Cape Town... who knows. Maybe just Europe with Megan, but I don't think it's too early to think outloud :)

I've just been missing it so much and talking with everyone I met there, and people who are still there. I just love traveling, meeting new people, and trying new things...period. The short time you spend with the people is all you need to make some amazing friends...it's such a unique experience that only the people you were with truly understand and I'm addicted to that experience. Still think about my Key Largo gals all the time and although we don't talk as often anymore we're still in touch and I love 'em. Now I've just added my Cape Town girls and I can't shake 'em :) hehe

This just in...

Lona took her first steps today!

That's probably the happiest I've been since I left.

Hopefully once I'm back in the flow with work and have an income, so I can do things, I won't feel so blah!

Back to work soon...

Whew....so life is totally back to B.A. times...that is "Before Africa." Sadly it seems like a distant memory already. A great memory though. So, I was in Arizona for 2 days before flying off to Illinois for the week. That was fun, but I also kinda hit a wall while I was there. As in...I've been traveling for 7 weeks and I'm exhausted. I felt bad because the last couple of days I just didn't do much of anything and there were people I still wanted to see. There will be more opportunities I suppose. It's likely that everyone will be right where I left them.

I flew back to Arizona on Friday (the 1st) and went straight from the airport to Ivan's softball game. We didn't get back to Surprise until after midnight. Then we got up at 8 a.m. and drove to L.A. for a wedding. I haven't been back to California since we moved, but Ivan's been back a couple of times to visit friends and family. We stayed at Breigh's place, which is in the apartment complex of the first place we lived, in Rancho Cucamonga. So that was kinda surreal. And nice. To be in a familiar place I guess. However, I also remembered part of the reason I left California...there's so many people!!! The traffic, although it really wasn't that bad, is crazy. There's just so many cars on the road.

The wedding was so beautiful. They had it at a country club, outdoors on the patio. The bride is Catholic and the groom is Jewish so they had a mixture of traditions in the ceremony and it went together wonderfully. Plus it was cool to see some of the Jewish traditions. Right after the ceremony there were drinks and appetizers on the patio, then we went inside for the reception. The food was awesome and decorations too. As favors they made CD's of love songs, which was cool. We listened to it a few times on the drive back. Pretty songs and a favor you'll actually use and appreciate you know? Overall, great wedding and a nice visit back in Cali.

We got back to Surprise yesterday evening and I had a lot of unpacking and washing to do. Now everything's settled and I just have some last minute paperwork things to take care of before I go back to work on Wednesday. It's so crazy that literally from the time I got done with work on May 22, until I go back on August 6th, I will have had 5 days when I wasn't traveling or somebody was visiting! On the one hand I think it's good because I never really had a chance to get lazy...on the other, it would have been nice to just kick back here & there. But, I really have no complaints. One of my best summers for sure...the other being my summer in Florida of course!

Not much else to say I guess. Hope I adjust back to work ok! haha Ivan started his masters program last week so wish him luck on that. I'm taking a small break from classes until I get my computer fixed. Hopefully within a month that'll be taken care of. Anywho, gotta go. Hopefully when I start getting a paycheck again I'll have some fun stuff to write about!

Checking in

Just checking in...moreso for my new friends I met in South Africa :) It's good to be home I guess...Now that I'm settling back in, but everything there was just so much fun! All the time! Right now I'm in Illinois visiting old friends and family. I've been busy with that and should be visiting people right now but I'm also feeling pretty lazy at the moment. Coming back to Illinois is always a mixed experience too because I see how some things just never change. Which can be nice and some things about that can just be annoying! Things always seem to pick up where they left off, for better or worse. Anyway, I miss you all very much and I'll be in full reunion planning mode before long. haha

I'm Baaack

Well I'm back in the states. The flight home was so long! I had an 18 hour flight from Cape Town to New York--stopping to refuel in Dakar. Thank God this time we got out of Dakar without trudging to a resort! The worst flight was from New York to L.A. It was 5 hours, but I think after the 18 hours I was hitting a wall. And 5 hours is long enough to suck, yet short enough to where you're counting the minutes. I swear I looked at my watch every 15 minutes thinking..surely another hour has passed. No such luck. The 18 hour flight truthfully just feels like a time warp. Somehow it only feels like a few hours. You watch a couple movies, I read an entire book from start to finish, did some word searches and sudoku, and slept. Bam, before I knew I heard, "We're now starting our descent into New York, please put your seats and trays in the upright position." At which put I got a little teary eyed. As long as I was just on a plane from Cape Town the trip wasn't over right? I wasn't sure if I was relieved that I had made it back to NY without any trouble, or sad that this was it, back in the U.S. and everything was over. Although if I had to guess I'd say I was sad. As I sat in New York waiting for the next flight the news was on and was talking about some food poisoning from tomatoes and they were trying to pinpoint the exact tomato it all started from. For whatever reason it just annoyed me. I was thinking...yeah I'm back alright. The news is reporting on stupid crap that doesn't matter. And then a ton of stuff about Obama. I'm an Obama fan but my God, I don't care if I ever heard another word about anything. And in the stores I saw the new entertainment magazines, which I buy and read, but for some reason they annoyed me too. I think I got used to being a little less saturated with news. I hardly saw news when I was there, and while I did tune into a lot of crap TV on the E network...it pales in comparison to the abundance of "news" here. Another way I knew I was back and the trip was over!

I'm pretty sure when I landed in Phoenix that I was a huge disappointment to Ivan. I was definitely very happy to see him, but I had also just come off 33 hours of traveling, and was in a bit of a dreamlike state. Like...wow I'm really here, that's really you, you're really standing next to me. So I don't think I gave him the loving and excited reaction of running through the airport and tackling him that he was hoping for! haha I'm not that kind of person anyway, but I know he was expecting more from me. I felt a little shy towards him but it's all good. Now that I've been here 24 hours it's almost like I never left. Which is scary and nice all at the same time.

When you've been away and you walk back into everything it's almost like walking into a dream because you haven't seen that stuff, it's just been a memory really, and then it's real again. Kinda weird. And while 6 weeks isn't that long, in some ways it is I guess. I just got so into my routine and way of life over there that I'm readjusting back to the way life was here. When I left, the dogs had just gotten haircuts so that's how I remembered them, and when I walked in they are these fluffy furballs! So that was kinda funny, I was like oh my God, you're my dogs?! hah Good to see them though. And Jeff's son Ryan looks like he's grown a foot while I was gone.

Ivan has all my TV shows recorded so I'm going to start catching up on those. Sadly they are weekly entertainment shows so...I'm diving right back into seeing what celebrity's did for the past 6 weeks....the shows are damn funny though. That's why I watch!

All of my souvenirs have the kitchen table covered! I have to figure out what I absolutely need to keep and what can be given away because I need to pack up again tomorrow to head to Illinois. That'll be fun. So anyway, that's all for now. I'm back. Distracting myself so I don't think about the fact that I have to go back to work in 2 weeks...if anyone remembers what it is I do for a living let me know, because I've totally forgotten at this point...!

Me & Nomsa

I had wanted to take a picture with Nomsa last week but she said no, because she wanted to be "sexy" for the pic. We rescheduled for today and she totally forgot to dress up & do her hair. We joke though, that Nomsa is sexy 24/7 so it doesn't matter. But she was reluctant to have a pic without looking her best. haha Nomsa's the housekeeper in case you forgot. And just to add, she's got a magnificent ass. hah

Thank you from Home of Hope

When we leave HOH they give us a little picture collage and thank you letter and I just wanted to share part of it because I thought it was so well put.

"We send you away with the unconditional love as a memory of our little ones. May it have touched your life as it has ours and know that you have played an important role in their small lives. If it felt that it was only for a short time please know that it will last a lifetime in the development of their characters. You have played an active role in where hope begins...."

"A little bit of heaven
drifted down from above-
A handful of happiness,
a heart full of love.

The mystery of life,
so sacred and sweet-
The giver of joy
so deep and complete.

Precious and priceless,
so lovable too-
The world's sweetest miracle,
a baby to love."

Goodbye Africa

So I'm leaving today. I can't believe it. And I don't really want to. It'll be great to see Ivan, and the dogs, and I'm really looking forward to my trip to Illinois and seeing everyone, but after that I know me, I will hit a wall and be like, "now what?" I'm sure after a few weeks I will be back in the daily grind and living exactly how I did before I came here, but I hope I don't. I hope some things stick with me and that I've changed a little.

1. I've talked about this with my coworker Nan before, but I hope I live a little bit more "in the moment." Hard to do when you're planning trip after trip and having something to look forward to, but at the same time I need to learn to enjoy what I have, the time I have, and the people around me. In general I think we all need to do this, but if there is one thing I saw while I was at Vicky's that just stuck out to me, was that it seemed like people just lived life. It wasn't a rush to get one thing done to move onto another and just talking with your neighbor was a good time...it wasn't the idea of, "Oh I don't have plans tonight so I just talked with my friend all night." That was the plan. And it was enough, and it was good. And the act of making dinner and cleaning wasn't something they seemed to just be trying to get done. The people were singing and chatting away the whole time. I just don't want to feel like I always need to be doing something. And on the other hand, there's a part of you (me) that says, "yeah, but I don't want to waste a moment either." I guess like with anything, it's about finding a balance...

2. I hope I'm less materialistic!! Even in all my souvenir shopping I did when I first got here, a few weeks later I'm looking at it all going...I didn't need that! I'm sure I'll appreciate it when I'm home and can look at it and remember where I was and what I did that day, but overall I've lived with less here, and survived, and seen how little other people live with, and are happy. Plus I'd rather save my money for more trips and experiences than furnish my house and have expensive clothes. I like to think I'm not that materialistic anyway...but I've been known to go one some shopping sprees...haha

3. I don't want to forget that anything's possible. In everything I've ever thought was impossible or difficult at least, and then did it...I learn that I can do so much more. Before the marathon obviously I thought that I could never do that, I did, and now I know I can do anything if I really want to. Coming here...I used to think, "oh someday when I'm retired" well I've been here now and know that I can go anywhere and do anything if I really want to. It's doing the things you think you can't, and the people you meet along the way that show you anything is possible. One of the girls here (now one of my favorite people in the world) is travelling the world for 2 years!! Just going where she pleases, volunteering or just vacationing. If you're like me you're thinking..."how can she do that? I could never do that." She sold her house and is living her dream. So...it is possible. ANYTHING is if you just want it bad enough. Where there's a will there really is way, it's not just something people say, it's true. I say this all as a reminder to myself and because I have a lot of friends who tell me all the time about the marathon, moving away from home, traveling here--"I couldn't do that!" Yeah ya can. And as soon as you do you'll realize how much more you can do.

This trip has been amazing. I've seen, learned, and done so much stuff! The people I've met along the way have been the best part. Lately it's been a never ending slumber party here as a group of us have just clicked really well. I haven't laughed so much and so hard in a long time.

So, when I get home I hope to just take with me everything I've experienced here, try to live it everyday, and figure out where to go (literally and figuratively).

See you soon.

The Best Souvenir

So, this is my last surprise before I come home! I got a tattoo few weeks ago and wasn't going to tell anyone because I wanted to just surprise Ivan when I got home, but I buckled and told him. I just sent him an email saying, "Look at this cool souvenir I got" with a picture attached. He was surprised! haha I knew I had wanted to get something to do with Africa but I didn't know what and I didn't think I'd get it done here. Once I got here I realized it was safe, like anywhere else in the world, just be careful of where you go to.

So, the new one is on my left wrist, diagonal from the one that is already there. It is the continent of Africa, and if you look closely (I may have to show you when I see you) the zebra/cheetah looking design actually spells out HOPE. I wanted it pretty much hidden in the design so that any random person couldn't just read it. Hope for Africa, Home of Hope. I love it.

Ivan's only concern is that I chose to get another one on my wrist and that one day I'm going to wake up with sleeves! (tattoos covering my whole arm) That won't happen! But a watch alone sure doesn't cover it anymore... And the computer wouldn't upload a pic so you'll see it when I see you! ***Just tried again and it came up, so there you have it!**

Mama Africa's again!!

Today was an absolute fabulous day! I worked, and the kids were all on their best behaviors and just ridiculously cute all day. The weather was awesome. During my lunch break I walked up to the beach and there was an ice cream man there. So I got a cone, sat on the boardwalk, and ready my book while taking in the scenery--the water was especially blue today and Table Mountain was clear as could be. And I saw a seal in the water. Kinda cool.

Tonight we all had planned to go to Mama Africa's. If you remember, I went there my first week here and ate all those different meats. Well a huge group of us went tonight and nobody else had been there before, so it was a treat for them. There was live music again, which was amazing as usual, but then the band I saw last time walked in!! This was awesome! The lead singer of that band was a great singer, but so much of an entertainer. I was hoping I'd see them again before I left. He didn't sing while I was there, but he did dance and you should have seen the place transform when he got there. Just at that time the band that was already performing kinda stepped it into high gear. It was awesome. The music and energy there tonight, and pretty much everywhere you go here, is just unbelievable. People are so free, and entertaining, and lively. I love it! I couldn't have ended the trip better than seeing that band again. I'm a total groupie now. Anyway....I'm still on a high clearly. haha Oh, and this time I got the ostrich fillet...yummy!

Also--today I took some videos of Lona & Ntlanta (my babies!) so you can see them in action. They're not doing a ton, but I know the videos will totally make me smile when I'm home. So just follow the links if you want to see them.

Lona
http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=197103045&k=X3E46653Q6XMZGGDSG33S

Ntlanta
http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=197103045&k=YYD3XVSX4WVMZGGDSG33S