Lucy Lou the Maltipoo

Well friends, our little Lucy has lost her battle.  She passed in her sleep last night.  I really couldn't have asked for a better way for her to go, but I definitely didn't expect or want it to be this soon.  She's only 6 years old.

For those of you don't know, or want the details, here's what's been going on.  At the end of June it all started with Lucy just being mopey and not lifting her head up for about a day and a half.  This is so unlike her that I was already concerned and took her to the vet.  She was given a mild pain killer because we thought maybe she had pulled a muscle.  Then she started having spasms, losing control of her limbs, not very steady on her feet.  Back to the vet for blood tests (which came back normal), and a new medicine.  Shortly thereafter it turned into seizures.  With the advice of several friends I asked for a certain seizure med and it really did the trick.  After she adjusted to it she was up and walking, albeit with the new problem of low vision, she was eating/drinking, wagging her tail.  I was happy because as long as she was moving, and seizure free that was a good quality of life.  We can deal with blindness as long as she can move & eat.  In the past week she started to regress a little.  She wasn't walking anymore, and started to cry and seize/spasm again.  Although they were very short.  I knew this was a possibility, and if we were going to live with seizures that were only seconds long that was ok with me. 

We had a vet appointment last night anyway for a check-up and to get more seizure meds.  About 20 minutes before her appointment she started screaming, crying, spasming, seizing--I'm honestly not completely sure what it is...it lasted for like an hour & a half-- only started to end by the time we were leaving the vet.  On the way to the vet I was thinking this may be it, but the vet didn't seem as concerned...so we had decided to try a steroid in addition to her seizure med.  Basically give that about a week or 2 and if that didn't help then we would  know we're dealing with something only a neurologist could diagnose.  I had asked if the things a neuro could diagnose are even treatable, some things were, most were not.  So in my mind if we got to that point we'd be looking at how do we make her comfortable or how do we know when it's the end.... I had definitely thought to myself over the past 6 weeks at different points that I would really hate to have to make that decision for her, but I was prepared to if we needed to, but I'd much rather she just didn't wake up....  

When we got home from the vet she had calmed down and seemed realllly tired.  Which I figured she would be after a long seizure (or whatever it was).  We gave her the meds, and she just rested.  Occasionally crying out, but nothing long again.  By the time we went up to bed I told Ivan when I was carrying her up that her breathing was really labored & shallow.... so I was a little concerned, but also knew she was exhausted, heavily drugged, and she had been snoring & things lately anyway.  I held her for a bit, laid her down & then I laid down and about 5 minutes later I couldn't hear her labored breathing.  I watched her and didn't see her breathing, but wasn't sure if it was just my eyes, so then I called up Ivan and after awhile of convincing ourselves we weren't just seeing things realized that was it... so we just wrapped her up in a towel with her head out and let her sleep next to the bed.  Today will bring figuring out what you do with a pet when you don't live on a farm & in the desert!  Back home this is a no-brainer...

I had several dreams last night that we were wrong.  That we woke up and she was breathing, and better than that acting herself.  I really did think I heard her breathing or crying a few times in the night and I would wake up to look at her just to be sure.  We only told a few people last night and I really wanted to text them this morning and say, aw, we're idiots, she was just breathing really quietly and slowly, she's fine! (Still hoping actually).

I do know this much, even if the vet said she probably hasn't been in pain, I think she has, at least in the past week.  I'm a big believer in looking at quality of life, and even in the past week have wondered if this was a life worth living.  So I know she's far better off.  And especially after my dream where she was her happy, spunky, self.  She hasn't been that in 6 weeks.  

So we're going through the things you go through when you lose anyone you love...  I just miss her.  I always had some hope she would eventually be herself again, and even if she wasn't I could deal if I could still talk to her and had some kind of quality of life.  Someone asked me once which dog I loved more, which of course, like any parent I love them equally but I do love them differently.  Charlie I love like a child, she is a perpetual puppy who needs mothering and play.  Lucy I love like a best friend, more like an equal.  I feel so bad for Charlie.  Although she has seemed pretty oblivious through all of this, Lucy was still always there.  And of all the dogs in the world, Charlie was never meant to be independent.  

So, we'll be happy for the time we had, try not to question too much why (although my guess is the episode she had before we got to the vet, she just couldn't recover from.  The vet had given us some valium to give her if another long episode started, but I think that was the one).  

Hold your puppies close, don't get too mad at them! haha  Over the past 6 weeks all I've wanted is for her to do some annoying thing she always did....constantly grooming, licking the carpet, standing underfoot in the kitchen (Charlie has successfully stepped into this role since Lucy wasn't able!)

So last night, she 'slept' next to the bed, we cried, and listened to "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds".... :)

Summer's Over

We go back to work tomorrow (although this came as a surprise, I will accept the challenge in the name of increasing my bank account), and I'm thinking to myself...I did nothing this summer.  I usually go home for a couple weeks and visit friends & family, at the minimum, but I keep thinking, "Man, I just sat around a lot."  So I decided to really look back at the summer and see where it went...

To kick off the summer we had a Memorial Day cookout which was a lot of fun.  We had some new faces in the mix and played a lot of Phase 10.  Later that week we went out with friends bowling at the new bowling alley in Surprise.  This was so much fun!  We went out to celebrate with a friend I haven't seen in 3 years so it was great to catch up and meet some new people.  We really hit it off with all of her friends as well.  The following night we were out for dinner & more bowling for another birthday.  Always a good time :)

As I wrote about in a previous post, I also had the chance to do some volunteering delivering meals to seniors in the area.  It was a great experience and I'm sure I'll help them out when I have time.  I also had a couple favorites, one of which I exchanged numbers with.  I would really like to go visit her from time to time and she really enjoys it too.  What I learned is that although a lot of them are lucky to be living independently, there is a lot of potential to be lonely.  So why not go visit here & there?

Ivan's dad & his wife came to visit, so that was fun.  I do really like showing people around AZ and listening to them go on about the heat! haha 

In June we also grew our business adding a partner and having their grand store opening.  That was a lot of fun.  I'm always happy to have the business grow & am excited to see what it is to come for them!

I also finally caught up with my friend Kametia.  We hadn't seen each other in quite some time so we spent the day together.  Another fun thing is that Kametia was in need of a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding.  I happened to have an extra one lying around...doesn't everyone?  See I ordered it for my wedding (it was inexpensive, and from China).  I loved the dress online but when it came it just didn't fit me right.  I decided to hold onto it and maybe alter it in the future into a party dress or something, but 2 years later I still haven't.  It just so happened to fit Kametia perfectly!  I'm happy to have given her a dress for her special day, and not only that, it's something old (to me), new (to her), and technically borrowed :)  Not too bad!  And she looked great in it!

In July we took our trip to Colorado which I think I already wrote about, and the following weekend we had our 7 friends from Cali visit.

Outside of that, I worked at least a few days a week each week in skilled nursing which has been a great experience.  And, been a nurse to our dog Lucy.  Late in June she started having seizures so it's been a long process to get her back to eating, drinking, moving, and finding the right medication.  She's improved in a lot of ways, but I don't think she'll ever be herself again.  So that is still an ongoing concern that we're dealing with.

I think that's it in a nutshell!  Although I'm heading back to work tomorrow I still consider summer fun until Labor Day....  this coming weekend we're going to Spokane, Washington for a business conference.  That will be fun because I love hotels :)  Especially the DoubleTree.  And, the last week of August my parents are coming to visit & we'll head to Vegas, so still some fun to be had in the next month :)

Home Delivered Meals

So, since I wasn't going home this summer I decided to do some volunteering which I haven't done in awhile it seems like.  We got an email at school from this local organization asking for any teacher volunteers so I took the bait.  A couple days a week I go to this place, pick up the meals, and they give me my route for the day.  Typically I always have the same route on Tuesdays, sometimes it's a different one on Wednesdays.  Usually I have about 6-8 stops.  All of the clients are seniors, and maybe a handful with disabilities, who either can't leave their homes to drive, shouldn't be cooking, just don't want to cook, whatever the reason.  Some of them just had operations or something like that.  They are always so appreciative of the service & have been really wonderful to get to know.  I have some favorites, I know you shouldn't :)  I have one who always likes to update me on her recent doctor's appointments and the progress of her illness.  Another who is 94 and still living on her own.  Recently she's been having some falls and tells me she's been sleeping more, and that she just wants to go in her sleep, so I'm not gonna lie, every time I go to her house I'm worried about what I will find.  I have another client with dementia.  We already know that there's always a possibility she won't be home, she has a tendency to walk around the neighborhood *so dangerous!*  But she has notes all over the house "Don't do this, do that, etc".  Every time I pull up she says "Oh I can't pay you,"  I tell her she doesn't have to and I take the food in.  She's always so surprised that someone is bringing her food.  The first time I came in there was a loud whistling coming from the kitchen.  So I get in there and she goes "oh what's that noise?"  I tell her I think she has made some tea so she moves it, and I remind her to turn the stove off; so scary to think what if I didn't come that day??  When we drop off the food they have to initial that they received it...she didn't know her initials.  So now I tell her what letters to write from the get-go.  And I always tell her "Lock this door when I leave!"  Obviously the point is to get them their food but it's as volunteers we are also to be aware of what's going on---is the a/c on and working?  Have they been eating?  So far so good.  It's been fun and not only that, it gets me up & moving on summer days where who knows how much time I could have wasted...! This week is my last week delivering so I think I might let a couple of them know I might swing by sometime just to say hi, I'll miss 'em!

I miss this place

I'm not blaming facebook...but since the introduction of status updates, yes years ago, my blogging fell off. It's not that I don't like to write anymore, I do, I just don't feel the need. So last night I was looking through old blog stuff and for the millionth time realized I miss it, and more importantly, how much I love reading through old things. There's so much I wrote about on there that I just completely forgot about. So many details of vacations and reunions and stuff like that. The last time I wrote was the wedding...clearly, a thing or two has occurred since then. The sad part being, since I didn't write about it I don't remember all the wonderful things that have happened since then! I'll do my best to briefly recap the highlights & important moments.

Labor Day weekend 2010 we went to Vegas for our friends' Clint & Shiloh's wedding which was beautiful and so much fun :) Kara nearly got into a fight (I totally would have had her back had she needed it...although I don't think she believes me. I was just waiting in the wings 'til I was needed, didn't want to make it worse by springing into action too soon). All ended well in case you are wondering. A couple weeks later we were back in Vegas for our friend Kristin's birthday, another fantastic time as usual, spent with great friends :)

In November 2010 Ivan & I started our own online business called Great Expectations. We sell all kinds of amazing products. What has really been great about this business is the mentorship we get. Outside of business, all the people in this organization are just good people, who want to help everyone succeed, and most importantly have great character. People live on principle and with purpose, they do what's right, and they have their priorities in line. It helps Ivan & I stay focused on our goals, even outside of the business, doing things like paying down debt, and helps us just be better. One of the big things in the business is just sticking to your word and honoring commitments, so we have become so much better at that, in my humble opinion :) The business has proven to be fun, although hard work, and we hope to stick with it long enough to really have some success.

In December 2010, my Grandma Spaulding passed away kind of unexpectedly. That hit me pretty hard because as awful as Alzheimers is, I had kind of long goodbyes with my other grandparents who had passed previously. You certainly don't want anyone to go through that and it's awful to watch, but I still felt a little more prepared or maybe at peace with it when they passed. With my Grandma Spaulding I really didn't see it coming and I'm still not convinced it was her time. Who am I to argue with that I guess, but it's just a feeling. What I am so thankful for is the last time I spent with my Grandma. I was on my way home to Heyworth after spending the weekend in St. Louis at Ivan's family reunion (which was awesome). I was just feeling very family oriented, loved, sentimental, all of that, so I stopped in McLean to visit my Grandma, which as many times as I passed through McLean getting off 55 to 136 over the years, I should have seen her dang near every weekend! But that day I did stop and I'm so thankful. I took her pictures from the wedding for her to have. And she & I watched the wedding DVD so she got to see the ceremony & all of the fun details--and now that I think about it, I think outside of Ivan & I she's about the only other person to really see the whole video... it played in the background at our reception in Heyworth, but it wasn't like anyone was watching word for word. Anyway, then I just really wanted to go to the cemetery to see where my Grandpa Spaulding was buried, which I don't think I had done since the funeral. So I took my Grandma out there and we visited Grandpa. All of this was just so out of the ordinary and I can't help but believe that there was definitely a reason I felt like I needed to stop, spend that time, and go visit Grandpa with her. Because it would be the last time I saw her. I did talk to her on her 80th birthday on the phone and asked her how it felt to be 80, she said "Oh, I didn't think I'd make to this age!" She passed later that month. Still miss her and my other grandparents quite a bit. I have a couple wind chimes that I had bought her while traveling that now hang here in Arizona and anytime they blow we know it's Grandma saying hi. And the other funny thing is I actually dream about her & Grandma Beehn relatively frequently. Some people believe when you dream about someone who has passed that it is them coming to say hi. I think I choose to believe that. It's a nice thought & I love getting to see them. I had one dream where Grandma Spaulding was just holding a little black baby--maybe she knows something I don't know? :) haha

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of fun times, but we were back in Vegas in March 2011 for Kara's sister's birthday (Katie). What else can I say? Another fantastic time :)

In April 2011, a big group of us did the Warrior Dash, which is a 5k with obstacles along the way, like climbing a net, running over cars, jumping over fire, and crawling through a mudpit. At the end of it there's a concert, you get this little warrior helmet, munch on a giant turkey leg. Good times were had :) And to anyone thinking about doing it-- the obstacles were fun, not difficult, you could do it!

Summer 2011 Ivan & I went on a road trip with his mom & Aunt Ruth after the family reunion in Tennessee. We traveled to New Orleans, which I have always wanted to go. It was a quick trip but we covered the basics--Bourbon Street, saw where Katrina damage is still present, went to a cemetery (the cemeteries there are above ground--in some really old ones you could see inside the tombs), went and had some chicken & waffles, and stopped in Mississippi on the way home to do some gambling. It was a great trip; I'm happy to have been to New Orleans and would love to go back someday and do a little more exploring and some volunteering too. Also spent a lot of time at home that summer. I was home at the right time and got to watch all my nephews & niece in their baseball & softball tournaments which was pretty fun-- actually gave me more of an appreciation for the sport watching them :) And I took them geocaching which was great too. Also made it up to Iowa for my friend Breigh's wedding, it was beautiful of course.

Oh of course, I almost forgot also, in early summer 2011 Kara, Liz, and I went to California for a few days. We stayed with Breigh and I took the girls to many of my favorite places (Santa Monica Pier, Hollywood, La Brea Tar Pits) and some new places too- we went to a taping of Chelsea Lately & out to dinner in Newport Beach. It was good to be back in Cali visiting my favorite places & seeing old friends too, while showing some first timers all the fun stuff.

Also in June, we had a little anniversary party and 5 of my friends from home flew in. We all stayed out at the resort, went tubing on the Salt River with about 20-30 people, went to Martini Ranch to watch Rock Lobster, and just hung out at the resort. It was so much fun to get everyone together and just have a blast. So thankful I have great friends :)

Late in the summer I went up to Portland for a business conference. Ivan wasn't able to make it but I had a great time. After the conference I went to Seattle for a few days with Rowena. I really enjoyed the northwest & would love to spend some more time in Seattle specifically. I just thought it was a really clean, nice, cool city. Ivan & I found ourselves back in Portland in November for another business trip and we got to see a bit more of the city, beautiful!

Back to Vegas for Thanksgiving in 2010. This was a different kind of trip. We didn't go to party necessarily. We went to Fremont Street which I fell in love with. It's so different than the strip, so laid back and just plain fun. We did some shopping, I FINALLY say the fountains at the Bellagio! Yes it took that many visits before I had time to go see the fountains! I loved them! I could have watched for days I think.

In December 2011, Ivan lost his Grandma Herron. She had been through just about everything under the sun over the past years and always came through everything. Unfortunately she had quite a few obstacles and couldn't overcome this time. So, Ivan went home for almost 2 weeks. I'm happy he got to spend all that time with his family as he doesn't get to be home as much as I do, and I know it was great for all of them during that time. At Christmas Ivan went to Texas to his sister's house, and I went home. We decided that would be our last year doing Christmas separately-- we've NEVER spent Christmas together! haha It's about time :) It's not so bad when he's in St. Louis and I'm in Heyworth because we can easily see other later in the day or the following day or something, but when he was in Texas and I was in Illinois is when we really felt it ya know? So we'll figure it out this year. I'm hoping we can maybe with his family on Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning, and then go to my family for Christmas Day/Evening...we'll see! :)

 In March 2012 my parents came out for Spring Break as usual. We did a ton around the house...I suppose really I should say that THEY did a ton around the house haha And then we took them to Vegas for their first time, which is one of my favorite trips to Vegas ever! It was fun to watch them see everything for the first time. We went to Fremont Street and had fried twinkies, we took them to see the Beatles LOVE--which is the most amazing show EVER!, we went to the gun store so Ivan & Dad could shoot machine guns, we walked the strip, saw the fountains at the Bellagio, and played some slots-- it was actually my most successful trip ever on the slot front :)

In May 2012 we were back to Vegas for my 30th birthday! I had a few friends from home fly in (THANK YOU!!), friends from Cali drive in, and lots of AZ friends go up to celebrate. Ivan & I went to see Zumanity (after seeing LOVE I am a huge cirque du soleil fan), and we also went zip lining which was super fun. Again, I have to say, we have THE greatest friends. Everyone is fun, drama free, always there for each other, and we all come through.

Ivan & I made a decision to not go home this summer so we could focus on some business things, save some money, and because I started working in skilled nursing facilities back in December, so I wanted to get some more experience over the summer. I work for a couple different places, one in particular has been a really great fit. At first I was beyond scared to work in a different setting than with kids. All I've done since I graduated is work with kids (except for a few months in California, where I really didn't learn anything because I was just thrown in & that's what I was so afraid of this time too). Anyway! I've really come to enjoy it quite a bit, although my preference is still working in the schools. I really like most of the patients I work with (you'll always have those stinkers, no matter their age or ability!). It's nice to have conversations with them about their life and you really do hear some amazing things. Not only that, I am so much more comfortable now with the idea of working with more physically involved kids after having worked on the physical side of things with adults. A lot of the time in the schools my work is more on visual perceptual skills, sensory processing, and fine motor skills, so it's different. It's been fun, boosted my confidence, and of course the money isn't bad either :)

Ivan's dad and his wife came to visit in June. They have never been out to see us so that was a nice visit! We got them a room at the resort where we were married and they really enjoyed staying there. I had to work some of the time they were here so Ivan got to take them shopping some and they got to see our house. We also had some great meals out, good conversation, went to Scottsdale, and to see University of Phoenix Stadium.

 This summer we went to Colorado for a few days. Neither of us have ever been so that was fun, and we haven't been on a road trip (outside of the New Orleans trip), so that was nice just to spend time together & have fun. The scenery was amazing as I'm sure you would expect. We went to stay with our friend Shiloh is who is originally from there but now lives in AZ, and has become a business partner with us. So, we went to do some business things with her up there with her friends & family and do some quick sightseeing too. We visited Royal Gorge, which is home to the world's highest suspension bridge. We also went to the Olympic Training Center, to the Air Force Academy, and to this place called Cave of the Winds. We got to go down in some caves and hear the history, see the sights. Pretty cool. Nice to get away for a few days too, and business is actually always fun as well.

Just before heading off to Colorado our dog Lucy got sick. We're still not quite sure what has been going on with her but I'm hopeful, again, that we're on the mend. It started with her just not being herself for a couple days, moving slow, keeping her head low. Then she had some spasms, and eventually she started having seizures. She's tried several different medications. The one she is on now seems to have gotten rid of the seizures, and the side effects are wearing off so she is starting to walk around. However, I'm worried throughout all of this illness she has lost some vision... She's not eating well either and that is my other concern. For right now there are more positives than negatives so we'll see what happens. If we need to we'll head to a neurologist but for now we're just seeing what happens!

 This past weekend 7 of our friends from California came to town. This group is so much fun!! We met them through another AZ friend and everyone just hit if off and have become closer over the years. Typically we see this crew in Vegas and we were lucky enough to host them this year on their visit to AZ. We had so much fun hanging in the pool, going tubing on the Salt River, and going out to eat. It was so nice to have more time with all of them that just in the club where we normally are. I loved getting to know everyone better and to have those great conversations. I'm excited for years to come of traveling, fun, and getting closer with everyone.

 That should just about do it for the moment :) Here's to hoping I stick with it more, I really do love writing, to nobody in particular, and more importantly keeping track of these details for myself.

Wedding Weekend!

I haven't written a blog or note in a really long time, which is out of character, but I've been dying for a second to write down how I felt about the wedding & everything leading up to it.

Last Wednesday a lot of friends and all my family flew in, which was great! I never realized how cool it would be to have them all in one place, and MY place to boot. I loved having them all here and getting to show off Arizona to them. Maybe now they see what all the fuss is about! :) (a.k.a--why I am still here :) So Wednesday consisted of pick-ups from the airport and then just grilling out, swimming, etc. Thursday was much of the same, couple more people flew in so Ivan was busy with airport runs again, I went to get my nails done with friends, and that night we all went out to eat at Margaritaville for my mom's birthday. Friday was the day I was feeling a bit stressed-- and I don't even know that stressed is the word--anxious-- there was a lot to do on this day-- more & more people were flying in & we had to get everything to the resort. I can truly say the only stressful parts of this whole process really was just being sure everyone & everything got to where they needed to go. Friday I was in "Let's just get to Saturday mode" because I knew Saturday would be far easier-- all the people & things would be in their places and nothing needed to get done but that whole tying-the-knot thing :)

The rehearsal was quick & painless. Our Pastor had us actually say the vows, which I don't know if all of them do that, but was a very good idea, because that was the part I was nervous about-- tripping over words or something, but after practicing, which we both nailed by the way, I didn't have any worries about that at all. Then my worry came to just being able to stand for that length of time in the heat, etc. I just wanted to be sure I wouldn't pass out :) After the rehearsal I hung out with friends at the resort, and Ivan & the guys all went out.

Saturday couldn't have been a less stressful day for me! Probably because I just transferred the stress to Kara (which we'll get to!) but it was great. My #1 piece of advice is to get someone who's job is to just be there for you in whatever way you need!! Anyway, Saturday morning started with make-up, which was SO relaxing. Just to sit in a chair, by myself, for 30 minutes, was awesome, and exactly what I needed at that point. After make-up I had about 45 minutes before my hair appointment so I had time to come home, watch TV, and play with my dogs! Yet again, just what I needed :) Then it was time for hair, where I met all the bridesmaids (Kara brought them there for me) and we all got our hair done at the same time (no waiting around, yet another good tip I think!), and Kara brought us lunch too-- tummies full=happy people! After this we headed back to the resort where the girls all went to their rooms to get dressed & do their own make-up before pictures. This left me with about an hour or so to just chill. Yup, can you believe that? So I just cranked up the air, turned off the lights, and laid down on the couch for awhile. Eventually it was time for pics, which also went super quickly, which left us all with about an hour before the ceremony to relax again.

This was about the time I started to get a little nervous...mainly again that I hadn't drank enough water or eaten enough, and I was super exhausted at this point because I'd been staying up late and getting up earlier than normal all week.

Finally it was time for everything to start, and at that point I wasn't nervous anymore at all. We headed down the aisle, I don't really remember seeing anybody's faces anywhere, I focused on Ivan and started walking :) All the things I had been somewhat nervous about weren't even factors-- walking in front of all the people, standing up there, saying the vows, might as well have been alone. You're back is to everyone so I didn't feel at all like there were 100 people watching & listening. If you're wondering, No, I didn't cry! Not even close :) Ivan was a little teary and I think him being teary kept me from crying-- he & I tend to take turns on things-- if one of us is pissed, the other just naturally assumes the calming role and so on. Every second of the ceremony was perfect & went off without a hitch! And if you're wondering about any other details-- I walked in to Canon in D, and we walked out to Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling." We really wanted to set the celebratory tone quickly after the serious stuff was over! :) hah

So, just after the ceremony was appetizers & cocktail hour for everyone else, and pictures for us, which I thought went quickly and was fun too. The photographer showed us some pics here & there on his camera and I am SO excited to see them all finished. They were looking amazing already on the tiny little screen.

Then came reception time! We had the bridal party introduced to T.I's "Bring 'Em Out" (which I LOVE) and then switch to Ludacris "My Chick Bad." Again, love both songs, and we thought, set the the tone for how much fun we wanted the night to be ;) Immediately after being introduced we had our first dance to Al Green's "Let's Stay Together." Let me just say, I do think first dance is a little awkward-- everyone just watching you, etc, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the song, being with Ivan, etc, but...once in my life is enough! haha Then it was time for food, which was a buffet catered by Macaroni Grill-- salad, fettuccine alfredo, chicken parmesan, YUM! Oh, and instead of having table numbers we named each table a different place we've lived or traveled to-- and to dismiss the tables the DJ read a little piece of trivia about that place that pertained to us, and then that table got to be dismissed, such as "Where Chelsey was born & raised"... Heyworth, where Ivan popped the question "Las Vegas" and so on. I thought it was fun & a little different, and people got to learn a little bit about us too.

Let's see...then I can't remember which came first, dancing with dad, or the toasts, but both were great. My dad & I danced to the Temptations "My Girl" and Ivan & his mom danced to Jackson 5 "I"ll Be There." And the DJ had all the fathers & daughters join me & Dad, and all the mothers & sons join Ivan & his mom, which was super cute, and I think had some great pictures probably. The toasts were all perfect! Antwone--the best man, Jyll--the maid of honor, Ivan's mom, my Dad, and then Ivan's sister Kim rounded it out. I'll remember those for a lifetime I think ;) Of course we had the cake-cutting, garter, and bouquet toss too. I chose Nelly Furtado "Maneater" for the bouquet, and Ivan chose Lil Wayne "Lollipop" for the garter. (Which I'd like to add, I had no idea people chose all those songs! I thought DJ's just threw on the tunes).

I think my favorite thing about the reception was early in the night the DJ had everyone make a big circle around the dance floor and had me in the middle and would then call out a different guy to dance with, and then the same with Ivan and the girls. It really got people moving, having fun, and again, I'm sure a lot of good opportunities for pics! Later in the night my nephews and some other kids who were there all requested a song and the DJ announced each of them by name and when he did they busted out their little moves. Super cute! And they were so excited out there. I couldn't have had more fun at the reception, I thought the music was awesome, everyone was having a great time that I could see--- which was one of our #1 criteria, we just wanted to be sure everyone had fun and that it was worth the trip for them since a lot of people spent a lot of time & money to come out. I think they did have a great time, at least I'm hopeful ;)

Following the reception we headed over to the pool, which my fabulous friends had worked out with the resort to keep open late for us! Normally it closes at 10 but we were there until after 1:00! Most people, except me actually..., were just swimming in their clothes! We had so much fun.

Let me add, the weather was crazy awesome! A little warm (it's mid June in Arizona, so that's to be expected) but it was cooler than normal for this time of year, and the evening there was a breeze, the sky was so pretty, the lights, everything. Perfect. AND, it was a weekend of shooting stars, every day there were shooting stars. A lot of good wishes for us I think :)

Sunday we were back to the house and had a lot of people over to swim, watch movies, and eat, eat, eat! So much fun to see my friends from home sitting around the pool with my friends from AZ, with my family, and Ivan's family, all under the same roof, all friends now. That is probably the 2nd most special thing (#1 obviously being getting married) about this whole thing. It's likely that will never happen again. It was so nice to see and just to have them all know each other now and putting faces with names and everything. I loved it.

Of course on Sunday it was back to airport trips and getting things back to the house. My parents, brother/wife/kids, and aunt just flew out this morning. So we spent Monday & Tuesday in the pool, they did some sight seeing at a ghost town, a quick trip to Sedona, dinner out, and a bit of hiking.

When I get done writing this I'll be getting the house ready for Ivan's mom & aunts to return from their short trip to California and they'll be here the rest of the week.

We've so loved having everyone here, and I will never say I wish it was any different because once they are gone, they're gone, we don't see them much, so I try to soak up the time when people are here ;)

BUT...it will be a little nice for Ivan & I to finally have a moment to look at each other and go...whoah, we got married! haha That hasn't even sunk in yet because we're so busy. We haven't watched the video tape yet, which we're waiting until everyone is gone so we can watch it for the first time together.

So that's all the logistical things :) Some reflections for you...

Our friends are amazing, family too of course. But I seriously felt like we asked so much of so many people this weekend, and I didn't want to, I hate having to ask people for anything, but everyone was called into active duty! Whether that was transporting people or things (which is what most of it was all about) everybody was ready & willing before even being asked, nobody ever said no, nobody complained, it was amazing. I guess it's amazing how helpful everyone can be when you let them help you! I just can't even express how thankful we are and how much we appreciate everyone, no matter what way it was you helped-- we needed it--and we couldn't have enjoyed ourselves as much as we did if it wasn't for you! All I can hope is that when you need us, we're there for you!

Now, the MVP of wedding weekend goes to.....Miss Kara Kujawa! Kara! I'm crying again just writing this (and I don't think I've cried hardly post-wedding hehe), I don't know how you felt all weekend with all the stuff that you handled so easily for us, but we definitely appreciate you so much and this would have been a completely different experience without you-- and not in a good way! You went above & beyond, never said no to any request from anyone, never complained, never seemed stressed, handled everything exactly as we wanted it, and if there were ever any problems you never let on. Our weekend was PERFECT and in large part due to you. I firmly believe that. I have no idea how we'll ever repay you, I just hope we're always there for you in the way you were for us. And I don't know how you didn't backhand anyone for the amount of times you probably heard, in a whiny voice, from tons of different people..."Kara....??" We love you.

Whew, so in addition to our wonderful friends & family, I have to say we picked some kick-ass vendors if I do say so myself. Which I would like to add another little piece of advice-- let your vendors do their jobs! Nearly every vendor we met with--catering, coordinator, photographer, florist, DJ--we gave them an idea of what we wanted and then said "you're the professional, do what you think works best." They do these things for a living and have tons of experience, just find people you click with & trust and then let them do their thing. It takes a load off you, I'm pretty sure they love it, and everything will be great ;)

My one last little saving grace I think that I did for myself throughout the planning was, leave room for error. I personally found if I didn't say "each little thing needs to be perfectly this way" then there isn't anything that's 'wrong.' Colors-- I had different shades of pinks & oranges, which means no shade was wrong, all the shades 'matched.' Stuff like that :) Build in room for change & stuff.

Oh, oh, oh, I need to add how weird it is to have a husband and trying to start using the name Nicholson! I was making a phone call and had to stop mid "Spaulding" and say "um...I guess Nicholson?" haha It feels like I'm acting! And I can't say husband yet! haha I don't feel mature enough or old enough to have a husband. I feel like a teenager just acting like we're married. This could take awhile folks! haha

So...that's all I got for now I think. It was perfect, perfect, perfect. So much fun and I hope everyone who was there feels the same way. Worth every penny, every stress, and most definitely worth the wait :)

Welcome 2010??

The end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 have proven to be not what I was expecting. But let's back up. I was able to go home for an almost 2 week long visit which was really nice. I never felt like I was rushing here and there but still got to see a lot of people, and spend a lot of time with family. Continuing with the good news, while I was home we had a bridal shower, which was awesome! I'll admit I was hesitant about the whole thing because I didn't really want all eyes on me but it was very nice and exactly as I wanted. Good to gather the girls, spend some time, and I can't complain about the gifts either! I feel like I got to spend more time with niece and nephews than I typically do. I'm not sure what the difference was but it was good. I also saw my cousins a bit more, and we had a Twilight Scene-It game night at my mom's, which was so much fun. I went to St. Louis for a couple days also so I got to see Ivan's mom and sister, as well as meet my new niece, Laela! (Ivan's sister's daughter). She is 9 months old now, and super cute. Also got a chance to see snow, which I do like if I don't have to go out in it!! But by the time I left the temperature was 12 degrees, whereas out here it was in the 70's! So yeah, a nice welcome back :)

Bad news while I was home too though. My cousin, who is in the Army and stationed in Iraq, and his wife were expecting their first baby. My cousin was able to take leave to be home for the birth and for Christmas, so a very exciting time for everyone. Everything had been completely normal in the pregnancy and delivery but they lost the baby during delivery. It was pretty horrible news and I can't imagine how they were feeling. They have both been very strong and positive through it all, which is amazing to see. Although it was a difficult time I am glad I was home while it was happening. It makes things easier to handle I think. In addition to that, my aunt has been ill and was hospitalized. Luckily it was only for 1 day (sucks though because it was Christmas Eve!). She is doing ok now though and it seems the cause of her problems has been found; now it's on to seeking a solution.

My Grandma Beehn (mom's mom) is in bad shape right now too. She has Alzheimer's and was pretty far into it-not really moving independently or speaking, or recognizing anyone or anything. From what I understand just sleeping and eating. Last week when Grandpa went to wake her up she breathing very shallow and didn't seem right. They thought she'd had a stroke but the tests aren't showing it was a stroke. Something happened to cause her sugar levels to drop to zero, which affected her kidneys, which affected her lungs, and caused brain damage. She was hooked up to a ventilator and Friday the decision was made to remove her from support. Everyone had the chance to spend a little 1:1 time with her and I was able to tell her what I wanted to say over the phone. But when they unhooked her she just kept on breathing! So this is where we are right now. She is still in the hospital and everyone is spending time with her, reading her old diaries to her, painting her nails, and just waiting. We had hoped she would pass quickly as this would be easiest on her and everyone else. If she continues to hang on she will either go to a nursing home or back home with hospice care.

I'm so glad I was able to talk to her over the phone. I kept texting and emailing people asking them to please give her a hug for me and tell her I love her and it was really hard to not be there. When I hadn't heard from anyone that they would do that for me I felt pretty helpless. Once my sister said she had done it I felt better but as the time came closer that they would be unhooking the machines I just felt heavy and decided I still needed to say something to her. I'm so glad I did. Even though I couldn't be there I just felt like a weight had been lifted. I just wanted her to know, because I believe she's in there somewhere, that I love her and that even though I couldn't be there I was thinking of her, and that she could let go and everything would be ok now, she could be herself again. I don't know what she's waiting for now. Celeeste told me (she works in nursing homes) that there will be times that they don't know how someone is hanging on but then suddenly a relative will fly in and then the person passes. Like there is something they are waiting for. Who knows? Maybe she's waiting to go back home. Maybe she's just waiting until she feels everyone is at peace. I have no idea. I wish I could be there because there is something cathartic about being with everyone going through that. It may sound weird, but some of my best memories with my Dad's family is when my grandpa passed away. We all spent so much time together, enjoyed each other's company, and just felt close. At the same time though, there are some ways that it's easier to not be there. I will remember Grandma sitting at Christmas dinner, rather than lying in a hospital bed, and it's easier to push things out of your mind for a bit when you're not there. I don't know what is better but I do know it was all harder than I thought it would be. And I don't know how it will be when she actually passes. We were all prepared when they unhooked the machines so who knows if we have already grieved quite a bit or if it will feel the same all over again. I sure hope not. Although it is sad that she will be gone, and even though she hasn't been great company for my Grandpa lately, at least she was there-I am still happy that once she passes she will be herself again. Alzheimer's is an awful disease. Although, I think (or have to believe) that although physically this is happening to them, there is some spiritual aspect or out-of-body type experience that continues long before they physically pass. And not in some torturous way where they know everything that is happening but can say it to us, but in a peaceful way- a way for the person it's happening to, to pass on in a sense, to have peace with their own life, and watch this all from above, somewhat all knowing. They already know everything is fine even if we don't. I just can't believe that 'they' are not awakened again until after dying.

So that's the start of 2010 for my family. Hopefully from here on out it's only good things. We have the wedding to look forward to and turning the corner around Christmas is also good, because that means summer is coming!!

Chelsey Lately...

Seems like I’ve been very busy lately, but probably really haven’t! I haven’t written since I met my refugee family have I? Or at least since I met them on my own? Let me back up then.

They are the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I could stop right there. But I won’t! I’m sure there’s some privacy issues so I will just call them Mom, Dad, and Sunny (nickname), which will probably be easier for you to keep straight anyway. So anyway, I went over and I had already met Sunny so I knew she was warm and very friendly which eased my mind about meeting Mom & Dad. Mom & Dad are just as sweet as Sunny. First I come in and am offered water, I accept because I read it’s rude not to (whereas in our culture I think sometimes we feel it’s better to decline when things are offered to us). Then without even asking if I wanted any, over the course of the 3 hours I was there I was brought tea, cookies, cake, juice, apple slices, nuts, and a Clementine. Needless to say, I now know not to eat before I go to see them because they will FILL me up, even against my will. They will not take no for answer at all. So we just spent the time talking and getting to know each other. Sunny is engaged, her fiancé is back in Egypt for now. (Did I mention last time that they escaped Iraq to Egypt for a few years before coming here?) Mom was a manager in a communications company, and Dad has been an electrician for 25 years. He worked with the government, American Army, and was very successful. You’re wondering what happened? There came a point when the militia (terrorists) threatened people that if they worked with the Americans they would be killed. The option was to flee. There is another daughter who is still in Egypt (originally I thought she was in Iraq still). She is married with a baby and just waiting on the go-ahead to come over to the States. They have a computer so they talk on Skype with friends and family all the time, which is nice for them since they are otherwise fairly isolated.

In the getting to know each other we took family pictures with me, and Mom wanted me to tell Ivan that he has a good girl and he better not do anything to lose me. I was sure to pass that along! We also worked on some English vocabulary by labeling things in the house. This helps with learning English words—and not just in speaking them but in spelling and reading them also.

I showed them a picture of Ivan and me which prompted a conversation about race. Other people had told them before coming here that Blacks and Mexicans were bad people and to be careful. That when things were stolen or people were selling drugs it was the Blacks and Mexicans. We had the talk about how of course there are ‘bad’ people of every race and that you just have to take it on a person by person basis, with any race. Luckily Sunny said that they haven’t had any bad experiences and that everyone they have met (of any race) has been very nice and helpful. It’s a shame that people are sent into the country thinking these things, it’s not even something they’ve had to experience themselves, or have lived with our history and yet they arrive with these thoughts. And I’m not sure even who told them, whether it was other Americans they had met, or just other foreigners who get that feeling from America. Either way it is sad. But in that way I’m happy that they will get to know Ivan and in a way be a good model for them, and give them a good experience to try and squash that information as quickly as possible. I think even by them knowing me and seeing that I am marrying a black man has probably already done a lot for influencing their views.

Which brings me to, they really want to meet Ivan! The first night I went they asked where he was and I told them I wanted to meet them first and everything. The 2nd time I saw them, same thing! I told them they would meet him soon. I’m guessing part of this interest comes from the culture where the women take a slight back seat to the man of the house. Although in their family it seems fairly equal. Everywhere wears typical western clothes, nobody is in wraps or shawls or turbins or anything like that.

The other night I took Mom & Sunny to the mall because they wanted to see it, and more importantly they wanted to see people! One of the biggest adjustments for them I think is I guess how boring America kinda is. They said people are outside talking and socializing until 4 a.m. back in Egypt! It would be a huge difference to come to America where people tend to stick to themselves, and definitely aren’t just standing around outside all hours of the night. The mall I took them to closed at 9:00—in Egypt their mall was open until midnight! Not to mention had 8 floors!

Mom loves taking pictures; she probably took 50 pictures while we were at the mall, posing with shoes, by a Christmas tree, store signs, us walking. On and on! Another adjustment for them is not having the income they once had. I mean, although they are refugees that doesn’t mean their lives were horrible beforehand, it’s really just that it became unsafe to stay where they were. They had a good income like any one of us and our now adjusting to living a very scaled back life, in a new country, and having difficulty finding jobs as well. It would be hard enough as a newcomer but especially with the economy the way it is right now. This is the hardest part for Dad, as he wants to provide for his family, and in the way that he was previously. Here sits an electrician with 25 years experience that cannot work as an electrician. It’s frustrating for them, and for me to watch. All I can do is listen, make suggestions, and just be there really.

While we were at the mall we got some ice cream and talked a little bit about life in Iraq with Saddam and once the Americans came and everything. I know that Saddam was horrible and did awful things but I have wondered if life was really that bad for the average person who was kind of off the radar if you will. Both Sunny & Mom said they had a sense of relief when we came over, and were comforted by our presence. However, they said they don’t think the government that is in place now is any better than Saddam, in fact maybe worse. They said it’s the government doing these terrorist acts and then blaming it on other terrorist groups. Who knows if that’s fact or theory or opinion of many or just some, but it’s still an interesting take. Also an interesting point—we hear a lot about the Suni and the Shiites, how they do not get along, etc. Mom is Suni and Dad is Shiite. Married. They feel the media makes a big deal and paints it that these 2 groups do not get along and in everyday life that is not really true. They say, it’s not as if you walk up to someone ask what they are, or that it even matters. So I’m sure what that it really comes back to is extremists of each type, but the point is, the media makes it sound like this is all the time, not just within extremist groups. They also said the government has a 2:00 p.m. curfew in effect, the current government. Everyone has to be in their homes by the middle of the afternoon. Just interesting little tidbits that they shared.

Bottom line, it’s going very well and I’m so happy I’m finally able to do it, and that I was matched with them. They are wonderful and treat me as if I’m family and we’ve always been family.

So aside from that, what else…the other night Ivan & I went to the Suns/Spurs game. It was a special deal through one of the my schools where you got to go watch the teams warm-up. So we were in the front row for that and got some good pictures. Games are always fun.

Awhile ago I went to an orientation for Habitat for Humanity. I’ve always been interested in it and since I’m not working for the city anymore I have more time for things like that. So this weekend will be my first time on a site. Once you attend the orientation they will email whenever they need help or you can go to a website to sign up for a weekend. Well I got an email the other day for this weekend to work on landscaping at a house. I figured I might as well because I didn’t have anything else going, we’re heading into Christmas break so I will have time off, etc. So I’ll let you know how it goes!

Speaking of Christmas break, it starts today! I’ll be coming home for about 10 days so it’ll be a long trip this time. A couple days I’ll go to St. Louis to see Ivan’s family and I think we’re going to try and get the groomsmen together to figure out what they are going to wear—which has become my biggest headache about the wedding. The rest of the time I’ll just be hanging out and spending time with people. I’m sure it’ll go fast even though it’s 10 days.

Well I guess that’s all for now. Later!

News!

Hey everyone! What’s new out here? I am FINALLY volunteering with the International Rescue Committee. I’ve mentioned this tons of times. I’ve been in touch with the IRC since before we even moved to Arizona. I went to an orientation with them in August 2007! At that time there was a long waiting list. Then when I followed up I had somehow been skipped on the list. Then I was leaving to Africa, and when I came back I started my second job. (I don’t think I mentioned that I quit the 2nd job, did I? I needed a break for school, wedding planning, and there are just other things I want to do, like volunteering). I contacted the coordinator back in September to see where they were with placing volunteers. Once again there was a waiting list so she said maybe in December. Well the other day it just happened to cross my mind again so I emailed her and sure enough, she was matching the last of her families for this year that weekend (last weekend). It was short notice but I didn’t have anything going on that Saturday so I was matched!

Quick refresher, my title is “American Friend.” I was matched with a family who I will help adjust to life in America in whatever way they need. Learning English, socializing, shopping, cleaning the house, etc. Basically just being there for them as needed. So I meet with them weekly and kind of go over different things with them and build a relationship.

Saturday the volunteer coordinator and I went to the family’s apartment to meet them. My family is from Iraq and it is just Mom, Dad, and a 20 year old daughter, who thankfully is fluent in English. Unfortunately the parents were not home when I was there but I got to meet the daughter who is the sweetest person. I knew that she knew English but I didn’t expect her to be so good at it either. She’s very talkative, warm, and so open and friendly. Her nickname is Sun because she just has that warm, sunny personality. That day the coordinator just went over my role with Sun, basically what I can and can’t help with them—financial and job questions need to go to their case managers. It was also decided that my focus will be primarily on Mom. She does not know English and is hesitant about trying it because she’s worried she will sound stupid and people will laugh at her. As is typical in the Muslim culture she tends to take a back seat to her husband and so they want me to help empower her. Work on English, getting her out of the house, learning to do some things for herself so she doesn’t feel so isolated and becomes more confident here. So I will spend a few hours (minimum) with them a week. I’m going back tonight and this time I will be on my own and will be meeting the parents. So I’m still a little nervous, although after meeting Sun that calmed a lot of my nerves. She can help to translate and you can’t help but feel easy around her. Tonight I’m thinking we will work on getting to know each other a bit and maybe start on some English by labeling things in the house. I know mom’s confidence is low when it comes to speaking English so I’m hoping if she can practice on household items, in her own home she will be more open to it and feel more comfortable with it. We’ll see! Some other examples/ideas the coordinator gave me is helping them learn the area around their house (which I first need to learn!) or cutting out coupons in the paper. Which Sun mentioned “we’ve seen these but we don’t know how to use them.” So simple things like this that we all take for granted but would be great to learn for people new to the area and on a budget. Someday Sun will get a job which will leave Mom more on her own which is where I can help too.

I’m thinking you might be having some of the typical questions, which I don’t have all the answers to yet. Such as, why are they here? As we all know, the situation in Iraq is not stable. It’s dangerous to the innocent people and not safe to be there right now. Which brings up a quick point to make--- the difference between refugees and immigrants. Immigrants willingly leave their country to move somewhere else. Refugees are basically forced to leave their homes because the conditions are not good to live in. Some of them end up fleeing to other countries and/or refugee camps. The people being placed from refugee camps into other countries go through quite a process. It’s not like the people are just picked up one day and dropped off in Phoenix. They apply, they have background checks, etc.

There are other organizations like the IRC and they all have similar processes. Once the people are brought over they are provided with housing, furniture, basic needs, and monthly money to help them settle in. With the IRC that lasts for 6 months, I’m not sure what it is for other places. The refugees have to pay back the expenses it takes to travel to the U.S. I can’t remember if they have to pay back everything from their first 6 months though…But they have to be working and supporting themselves within 6 months. They also have case managers to help with them finding jobs, etc. They have a very high success rate of refugees paying back the money and keeping up their end of the bargain. The people are gracious for the help and the opportunities and very willing to do their part.

The IRC has branches all over the U.S. where people are relocated to, and all over the world too. Phoenix just happens to be one place. So what happens once they are here? Often the goal is for refugees to be able to return to their homeland once it is stable, this doesn’t always happen, and it often takes years and years for a place to be stable again. I don’t know the exact numbers but after a certain amount of time they can start the process of becoming a citizen if that is what they choose. That should answer a lot of the questions that come up I think!

Saturday when I pulled into their apartment complex it was the most lively place I’ve seen in a long time, and it reminded me of the townships in South Africa. There are a few different complexes where many refugees are placed, so mos of the people at this complex are refugees. The people are all out talking to their neighbors and the kids are playing outside together. Very un-American! Lively is the best word I can think of. It was a nice feeling. And when I got to the apartment door you could hear Sun inside blasting Arabic music and vacuuming. Several neighbors stopped by while I was there.

I’ve wanted to do this for so long so I’m very excited it’s finally happened and I’m anxious to see where this goes. For me it will satisfy that international bug I have, while staying right here in Phoenix. I think my long term international traveling days are over for a bit but this feels just as good to me. I get to help people, but I also get to help a population I care about a lot and am very interested in, I get to raise awareness about the organization, the people, and the situations going on, which is one of my favorite things to do, and why I talk so much about the volunteering. I’d love for everyone else to try something, whatever it is that speaks to them. You know I always talk about a career change so volunteering has become my way of seeing what I’m interested in, and if I never change careers it gives me the fill I need that I don’t always feel for my own job. For me volunteering is almost selfish, haha. Of course it’s helping someone else which I like, but I like the good feeling I get, the people I meet, and the experiences. Anyway, I’ll let you know how this goes!! Wish me luck!!

Long time no talk eh?

Wow! It's been 2 months since I've written. I think it's because so many people are on facebook now that I feel like there's nobody to update. Which is quite possibly true, however I'd be upset if I quit the blog. It's a memory keeper for me more than anything else. For awhile I had it automatically update to my facebook account as a "note" but I found I don't really enjoy the conversation that comes from it. Oddly enough. I don't like to think about what I'm writing, although it's rarely of any importance or controversial. I like to just write, for my own benefit, and to update people back home, not to get into debates about things. So I switched it so that it won't update on facebook anymore. Ahh. It's a great relief! I can talk to nobody again! haha

So let's see. October...the first weekend of October we had a housewarming party, which was so fun! We had about 50 people over, grilled out, drank, played games, and just hung out. It was so much fun. I love having the space to do that, and I love that we have a lot of people in Arizona to do it with. It was at that time that I realized how many people we've met here and why we like it here. I keep wanting to have a party for everything now! It doesn't help that I love evites :) I just need a reason to send them out. haha

The week after that we went to the the Phoenix Mercury (WNBA) championship game, and they WON! It was so much fun. We've really become fans this season, we went to 4 games and they are just so much fun. Plus, the tickets are cheap so you can sit close and the excitement is just the same as an NBA game. Being at a championship game was pretty awesome. We also had a friend's wedding in October. Very pretty. Made me think about ours quite a bit. I'm trying to make peace with the fact that all eyes will be on me that day, which is the part I'm having the trouble with! I don't want to be the center of attention. Oh well.

October was also Ivan's 27th birthday! We had some friends over to play games and hang out that day. It was fun. We had a tasting to pick our menu for the wedding too. Good food :) It's Macaroni Grill for anyone who is interested! For Ivan's birthday I got us tickets to a Coyote vs. St. Louis Blues hockey game. Ivan knew we were going but I surprised him with 4th row seats. Which was fun because you're so close when the guys get slammed up against the glass!

I also spent the day doing some volunteer work with my River Rampage friends. We're trying to get people together at least once a month to keep up the volunteer spirit, good influence, and just get everyone together. We have a decent turnout each time. That day we were picking up trash at a park. It was so good to see everyone.

Halloween was fun of course. Ivan was a pilot and I was his flight attendant. We went to a party at our friend's house and then headed to the bar afterward. Lots of dancing and good times!

November... I found out my Pastor from back home lives out here now and he is going to marry us! That was pretty exciting, and I know my family will be happy to see him again as well. Which reminds me I need to schedule our pre-marital counseling. I'm nervous about that... I'm open about a lot of things but not really feelings and our relationship, etc. So I'm worried what we will talk about?! And then there's always that guilt that we aren't active in a church or anything...ah well. I'm sure we'll be ok!

I went to an orientation for Habitat for Humanity too. It's something I've always wanted to be involved with. So once you attend the orientation all you have to do is go on their website and sign up to work whenever you're available. Simple! There's not a mandatory commitment so that is cool. I haven't had time yet to actually get out there but sometime after the holidays I hope to.

The second weekend of November was the Memory Walk, which is a fundraiser for Alzheimer's. I raised $245. I went to the walk that morning and they give you a little badge to wear, and you write on there who you're walking in honor of. As soon as I wrote "Grandma & Grandpa" (Beehn & Spaulding) I got a little emotional, and it didn't stop. I know from Team In Training that these kinds of things can be a little emotional because you stop to think about the disease, what is does, the people you know who are affected, etc. It's not something I stop and think about often so I guess it just kind of got to me that day. I'm glad I did it though :)

That same day we (me, Ivan, and our friends Jeff, Julie, Kara & Kristin) all did a bowling tournament for our school district. That was fun, although we didn't win anything of course! I actually think I pulled a muscle in my arm. By the end of it I was granny rolling the ball because I couldn't hold it right! That night I went with Kristin & Kara to a little cookout at one of the teacher's house from our school. It was nice and small, and he lives out in the "country" (I put that in quotes because it seems weird to call it that out here in Arizona but that's what it is I guess....) So we sat around a fire all night just talking and playing Truth or Dare, although they were all truths. Great way to get to know people!

Ivan & I also met with a photographer & a DJ this month. I'm not super picky so we'll probably go with them. I think I want to meet with another DJ just to compare prices. But that's the last big things we have to take care of. Aside from picking out the menswear which I think we'll do soon so we can have all the groomsmen get it taken care of while we're home for Christmas. We'll see!

Last weekend I organized a Girls Night Out with a bunch of my lady friends. It was a lot of fun. We went to this place called the Shout House which is a dueling piano bar. They make fun of people in audience, make you come up on stage, etc. It was a really good time-- although I think if I go again I will hide in the corner somewhere and just watch the fun. I made it out of there without having to get on stage but we were very close and I was worried the whole time :) haha

Thanksgiving was good as usual! Ivan made all the food (he's the cook, I clean!) His cousin and his friend happened to be here so we had some family with us. Kara talked me into going out early on Black Friday with her, which I've never done before. We were at Target at 5:00 a.m. I got our Christmas tree for $25 and all the decorations for it for $10. So that was exciting! I went back out later in the day for some garland, stockings, and a few other Christmas decorations. I could really get into the Christmas decorating!

Well I guess that's all for now. Everything is good out this way. Did I mention in my previous post that Kara is living with us while she closes on a house? She is buying a short sale house so it will take awhile but it's helping her save some money and we like having her here. It's fun :) We'll be home for Christmas soon. I fly in on December 22 until January 2nd. Ivan will be in St. Louis from December 22-28th. I don't know if he'll be able to make it up to Heyworth at all though. So you'll probably see him at the wedding!

Take care! Some pics to come soon.

Save that date!

So our save-the-dates were officially sent out on Friday and I'm hearing from a lot of people that they've already received them-- even in Rhode Island! You go USPS :) If you didn't receive one, don't be alarmed, not many people did. Remember, we're keeping it small because we have to. When we first made the guest list with including everyone, it was well over 300...yeah...so, we had to do what we had to do. Unfortunately, in the name of being fair we had to skip inviting a lot of people we'd obviously love to be there. Like all of our cousins :( I never thought I had a big family until recently! haha Apparently having like 25 cousins is a lot...and most of them are married, so make that 50, plus kids, then multiply it all by 2 for Ivan's family. Bottom line, we can't pick & choose so we went with none. Aunts & Uncles got invited, and I'm spreading the word this way-- if aunt & uncle can't come, but their kids (my cousins) would like to come, the invite is theirs! And we had to skip the kids all together too. Everyone's pro-creating fools. So just our nieces & nephews have made the cut, and the wedding party's kids. So anyway, I know who's invited and who's not can be a sticky subject sometimes, but I don't want it to be. Not one person wasn't invited because we didn't want them there, the only reason we had to keep it small is because there are far too many people we love. Sounds kinda jacked up I suppose but it's just true. The good news is that we're hoping to have a cookout/party back home so we can still celebrate with everyone who couldn't make it. I might even be looking forward to that more than then wedding weekend itself since that will be a no-stress situation!

Anyway, if you did get a save-the-date, please go to the website listed there and make your hotel reservation as soon as you know you're coming!! It's a small resort and they could only set aside a certain amount of rooms. Once that amount is full then they will set aside more. I really don't want to see everyone wait til the last minute and then not have a room at our resort. That would be so sad! So if you know for sure you're coming, just make the reservation. They don't need a deposit, just a credit card to hold it on. And that website again is: http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/ChelseySpaulding&IvanNicholson

So if you didn't see it, the picture above is the picture we used, with the caption "We're taking the plunge!" Yes we really jumped in the pool in our clothes. About 2 seconds after this picture we landed in the water fully clothed. Luckily my friend Kametia who was taking the picture landed it on the first try. We were practicing with my mom taking it because we did this when they were here but she was crumbling under the pressure (sorry Mom, but you were) so Kametia stepped in and saved the day :) Oh, and no it's not my wedding dress. I just happened to have a white dress laying around, and Ivan had an old black suit. Worked out nicely. We just wanted to set the tone with something fun & playful to show how we hope the wedding weekend is too.

Now that we're pretty settled into the house the wedding is slowly creeping back into my thoughts. Although I don't know what I need to be doing...? Which I guess is a good thing. I guess we're pretty decent decision makers.

So anyway I guess that's all for now. Life's good. Hope yours is too!

Obama's School address...

I just need to share my two cents about this whole ‘Obama addressing the students’ thing.

What’s the big freakin’ deal? I get it, some people don’t support Obama. Ok, again, what’s the big freakin’ deal? Presidents address the nation all the damn time. So why is this any different than any other time the nation has been addressed? Because he wants to speak to the future of the country specifically? Wow, what a terrible idea. Such a tragedy to have a President want to get our future involved in current events and hearing information. Whoah, better watch out for your kids, they might learn something, or form an opinion. God knows we hate opinions right? We better just shield them from hearing things WE might not like, or better yet, just from a person WE don’t like; Who cares what the information is…which I believe is something like “work hard in school” and things of that nature. Yes, we definitely don’t want them to hear that either. It must be better to keep them at home or taken from the classrooms than be told be the President of the United States of America that education is important…it is better to learn that if you don’t like something you should just stay home from school, because hey, they learned it from their parents right?

Which is what gets me the most. What are we teaching the kids by saying, “Mommy & Daddy don’t like this so we’re staying home from school today!” What a great lesson to teach your kids. Hide from the things you don’t like, education clearly isn’t that important, if you don’t like someone you don’t have to listen to anything they say, respecting/listening to authority figures isn’t important, you need to do what you want in life. Yes all of these things are definitely better for kids than hearing the President talk about the importance of education, and all of these parents actions spell that out loud & clear.

Why not instead use it as an opportunity to have a conversation with your child? Discuss what they liked or didn’t like? Discuss what they think should be different?

I just think it’s a horrible lesson for kids to keep them home from school just because of some 20 minute speech that nobody really knows what will be said. Are people so insane that they really think their kids are going to be brainwashed or something? I don’t think 1 person really believes that. I think most people just enjoy making a big deal out of nothing at all. It makes them feel important. Well as long as you feel important! These are the people raising the FUTURE of this country! Wonder why we have the problems we have; Welcome to “Easy Way Out-ville.”

Class of 2010!

So one of my favorite teachers from high school is retiring soon so she's asking some of her graduates to write letters to her current class giving advice and some reflection about life after high school. Here's what I wrote:

Dear Class of 2010,

My name is Chelsey Spaulding, class of 2000. I was fortunate enough to be sitting right where you are, in AVC with Mrs. McDowell, 10 years ago (although I can’t believe it’s been 10 years, feels like yesterday!). At that point my main objective was to get on full time at State Farm or Country Companies; which was a fine plan but nothing went as expected, thankfully. I worked at State Farm through the work program but when graduation came they didn’t need my position filled full time, so I worked some odd jobs before landing at Country Companies. About 9 months later there was a big lay off. This was just the beginning of a wonderful turn of events. I realized I didn’t have many choices unless I went to college. At that time my thoughts were, “what’s the quickest degree program I can get?” So I looked at many of the 2-year programs out there- dental hygiene, x-ray tech, physical therapy assistant, and landed myself in the occupational therapy assistant program at ICC.

My first semester at ICC we did a project on alternative therapies. I did some research and chose to write about dolphin assisted therapy. I also saw this place in Florida that took interns for their dolphin program, so I applied on a whim. Imagine my surprise when I was accepted to go to Key Largo, Florida for 8 weeks the following summer, to live and work with dolphins! Of course it was an amazing summer all on its’ own to be around the dolphins but the bigger thing I got out of that experience was the people I met and the realization that I could do anything. I got to work with therapists and patients from all over the world, people who have traveled everywhere, tried things you wouldn’t imagine, shared tons of knowledge, and just opened my eyes to so many possibilities. When I came home from Key Largo that summer I was a totally different person with a totally new “plan.”
I realized I loved traveling and all that came with it so when I graduated I started working for a travel therapy company. Basically, I could tell them where I wanted to work and they find me a job there. This lead me to 2 years in Southern California and then to Arizona where I currently live and work as occupational therapy assistant. I work in the schools with kids who have disabilities. We work on many things like handwriting, cutting, coloring, tying shoes, buttoning, snapping; basically all the skills needed for the job of being a kid.

Obviously with moving it is nice to see the sights and get to know new places, but again, for me it comes back to 3 things: the people you meet along the way, learning to love & find the best in whatever “plan” unfolds in front of you, and challenging yourself all the time. Each person I’ve met and place I’ve been as lead me in so many wonderful directions; from that first scary move across the country, to raising thousands of dollars and completing marathons to help beat leukemia & lymphoma, to working with orphans in South Africa, to mentoring foster kids in Phoenix, to coaching Special Olympic athletes. With each new task I try I realize how much more I can do.

Ten years ago you couldn’t have told me I would have done any of these things. I wouldn’t have believed you, which is great because life has turned out to be a wonderful surprise. But I think it’s a combination of many things; working hard, appreciating the people you meet and taking whatever you can from that experience, being open to change and seeing the positive in whatever is thrown your way, using the opportunities that present themselves, giving back what you’ve been given, and of course being thankful.

I hope my short time since I was sitting in your seat has made you think a little about the possibilities for your life. It’s such a cliché but couldn’t be truer, dream big! You might surprise yourself.

Sincerely,
Chelsey Spaulding, Class of 2000

Drumroll please....

Hey! So…it’s been awhile huh?! For good reason, finally. I’ve been too busy, what with buying a house and all :) Yes, we finally got a house. We closed on August 17th, cleaned on the 18th, moved all of our stuff in on the 19th, unpacked a little on the 20th, cleaned out the apartment on the 21st, and handed back the keys on the 22nd because our lease was up! We had a lot to do in a very short time, plus in between all of this school started again so everything was being done in the evenings mostly. So far, we love it :) I can only seeing it getting better! For those who don’t know (which are very few) we bought a 2-story house, with 3 bedrooms, plus a loft; when you first walk in there is a room which is probably meant to be a dining & formal living room but will be “Ivan’s room/game room” in our house, then there is a living room off the kitchen too; we have a nice size yard and…..a pool! And not a play pool which is what many people have out here, but a pool with a deep end! It goes to about 6 feet deep, and the deep end there is a ledge to sit on right in front of our rocks/waterfall! So far we’ve had a couple people over to hang out and it’s been so much fun, and so nice to have. The rocks are awesome to jump off of and it’s just a great place to hang out. So our time has been spent calling various people to spray for bugs, trim the tree, get the pool sparkling, and unpacking. Oh, we also had new bedroom furniture delivered since our previous furniture was rented by my company. We’re totally in love with the stuff. And my friend Gretchen gave us a couch they didn’t want anymore to put in the front room. My parents are coming out next weekend for 10 days to help out with some cleaning, painting, changing lights, etc. I’m very happy to have their help! It will be nice to get all of this done with people who have done it a time or two before. So for now pretty much everything is unpacked. The front room is housing all the things we’ll be hanging after we paint, and some other things that don’t quite have a home yet—since we are able to spread things out now rather than just stack them all in a spare room we need to get more furniture, and then those things will have a home. Which leads me to my new love, Craigslist. I’ve never bought from craigslist before but I majorly hit the jackpot this week. I saw a washer & dryer about an hour after it was posted, so lucky me, we were the first to respond so we pick it up tonight :) And, I just happened upon a table (the old table was rented too). And not just any table, it seats 8 people, can extend to seat 12! Ivan is picking up everything tonight so I’m super pumped to see it in the house. I’ll post a link to pictures soon :)

Other than that it’s just been back to work, which has actually been really nice. I am a creature of habit so as much as I enjoy sleeping in and doing whatever I want, I’ve also truly enjoyed being back to work. Plus I’m back at one my schools I was at last year, which I’ve never been at the same school twice because usually we were moving, or I got moved within the district. But it’s really nice to be back. I already know the people, I already know most of the kids so you don’t waste as much time getting to know their skills, you can just jump right in and go even farther I think. And my other school is a school I had the year before last and I have a lot of friends who work there, so it’s really fun too. I definitely feel like this year is going to be a great year for work, and everything in general I think.

Talk soon!

Best Friends!

Hey! Alrighty, so Erin flew into town on Wednesday and we went out for some dinner and drinks that night at Macayo's (a popular Mexican place here), with some friends. On Thursday Erin & I worked on our tans (which didn't take much time!) and we went out to eat at Yard House (my favorite place!) Friday morning Erin & I started our trip north.

So we rented a car because my car is 13 years old and I wasn't sure how the combination of mileage, uphill/downhill, and heat would affect it. This of course makes me want a new car again because it was just so smooth! Anyway, we headed to the Grand Canyon which is always beautiful. I wish I could see it for the first time again ya know? But it's still fun to see, and fun to see people's reactions when they catch a glimpse for the first time. I think maybe sometime I wanna head over to the North Rim and walk on the skywalk. I pretty much always go to the same place every time I've been, Mather Point. And one time my friend Cathy & I went to Desert View-- which was neat.

So after the Grand Canyon we got back on the road to head to Kanab, Utah. This is like 3.5 hours or so further north and a little west. A beautiful route with the red rocks, through Page, and Lake Powell/Glen Canyon Dam. We got to our cabin on the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary grounds about 10 or so Friday night... we were greeted by the biggest bug I've ever seen hanging out on the door frame entering the cabin...I made Erin go in first. Thank God she's not afraid of bugs or we wouldn't have survived. I dunno what this bug was, but I swear it had horns and everything. It kinda looked like a bug that Pumbaa was following on the Lion King. Anyway from that point on I was on high alert. We walked in and I saw some other big bug on the floor, which Erin promptly smashed for me (THANK YOU ERIN!) And a few little ones here & there. So I made Erin check the bed, etc before getting in. We're laying there and I see a spider on the ceiling...Erin's asleep so all I can do is keep an eye on it. I swear I watched it for like an hour. It finally started moving across the ceiling, further from us until I couldn't see it anymore so I fell asleep-- although I was pretty tense as I slept! I woke up a bit later to the spider exactly where it had been earlier on the ceiling and started watching it all over again. It started moving towards the wall which I was thankful for so it would come down a little ways, I'd kill it, I'd sleep. This was the plan anyway...I watched it come further & further down the wall while gaining speed, I looked away for like a millisecond to pick up my shoe and he was gone! At this point I realize he must be in the bed but I can't see him, and I sure as heck can't just stand up the entire night so I get back in bed, tense as hell. I set my phone down and turn back just in time to see him scurrying down my arm!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that?! I jump out of bed, Erin wakes up convinced I'm delusional. I turn the light on in time to see him all willy nilly crawling across the top cover, I swat, and miss him.... yuck. I finally get back in the bed, kick all the covers off and lay there pretty much in the fetal position, finally sleeping but swatting all night at phantom bugs! I wake up in the morning to the same (or so I thought!) spider up on the ceiling and Erin offs him for me :) Then we make the bed...where my friend from the night before comes crawling out of the covers. And Erin gets 'em. YUCK! The good news at this point is that every living bug I'd seen (aside from the giant Pumbaa bug) has been killed so I can relax. Although I spent the rest of the time there looking very carefully everywhere I sat or stepped, and shaking everything out before using it!!

Whew, so that morning we headed to the welcome center to check in and watch a welcome movie that tells all about the society and the sanctuary. Which I of course spent the whole time trying not to cry. After that we took a tour which drove us all over the place-- Horse Haven, Piggy Paradise, Dogtown, Cat World, etc. The sanctuary is set on 3800 acres of land and has more than 1800 animals at any given time. It's the largest no-kill shelter in the country, if not the world... (it may be, I'm not sure). The scenery is beautiful--rocks, cliffs, trees. Best Friends took in 22 of the Michael Vick dogs, which they call the "Vicktory Dogs." If I remember right, at this point the first 1 has been adopted out, and all but 7 are being fostered right now!! So, clearly the dogs can and are making progress. Dogtown is where all the dogs are kept and there's a few different locations. The buildings are set up as octagons where 1-3 dogs are kept in each space; which consists of an indoor space and an outdoor run. They all have little swimming pools for keeping cool, toys, and beds galore. It's obvious they are all very well cared for and HAPPY! Cat World has a bunch of buildings that also have indoor and outdoor spaces. They have a lot of rafters for the kitties to climb around in and tons of beds to lounge in too. They also have a couple special houses-- the "Incontinental House" where the incontinent kitties stay, and a house for cats with skin cancer that has shade over the screened in outdoor space. They also have places for bunnies & birds, and I'm sure something I'm forgetting.

After the tour we grabbed some lunch before heading to volunteer in Dogtown. Basically you can help out with whatever needs to be done. Each set of octagons has a caregiver that oversees everything going on with the dogs in those areas. The work consists of feeding, grooming, cleaning spaces, walking them, socializing, or taking them on outings. So, we took a dog, Miranda, on an outing. She loved riding in the car and we took her to the natural amphitheater that they have there to roam around. She was a pretty independent dog, not caring much for a lot of affection but still very sweet. When we took her back we helped clean out some swimming pools and fill them with water, which they loved! One dog in particular, Popi, LOVED it! He kept trying to steal the hose from Erin. After that we socialized a bit and picked out a pup for an overnight guest. Yes, you can take a dog to sleepover! A lot of the hotels in town allow dogs (as do the restaurants) and since we were staying on the grounds it was even better. The flooring is easy-clean stuff, and they have dog doors & little runs there to let the dogs out. Since we were in an easy-clean place they suggested we take a dog named Katie Mo. She's fairly new to the place and hasn't been house-trained yet so she hasn't got to do very many outings. She was a doll! A sweet girl, and she never had any accidents either! We just made sure she had a chance every couple hours and she woke me up in the morning to take her out. We got to take her into dinner with us too and she behaved really well.

Sunday morning we took Katie Mo back and headed over to Piggy Paradise to work with the 19 potbellied pigs they had there. So we made all the breakfasts. Each pig had a little menu all its' own. Some needed their lettuce finely chopped, others you just cut a head into fourths. They all got pellets and other vegetables too, and supplements as well. So then we went out and gave them each their food. Some of them knew how to sit so you had to ask them to sit before giving them the food! And they all would walk exactly to where you needed to set the bowl when you walked into the pen. It was funny :) They were super cute.

After the pigs we had to get back on the road to head back to Phoenix. It was a really fun experience and an awesome place to see & learn about. The website is www.bestfriends.org if you want anymore info. You can join, sponsor animals, etc and all the money helps keep the place running. It is a nonprofit with 400 employees that runs on donations! In addition to all the care the animals get they also do a lot of outreach work and activism. Pretty cool place.

So Erin headed back to Illinois this morning and it's getting closer & closer to reality for me...a.k.a back to work. I had to go get a TB test this morning and still need to get a physical and drug screen for work this week. But good news, my friend Heather (met in Africa, from Scotland, met up with in NYC this summer) is flying in on Thursday!! I'm pretty excited about that cuz it's always great to see people and who knows when I'll see her again. So we'll be heading up to the Grand Canyon (what can I say, if you're out here you should see it!) And probably Sedona. She's not sure how long she'll be here but anyway, it'll be fun.

Oh, and here's a link to the pics from Erin's visit if you wanna see:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2044981&id=197103045&l=942c823c0e