They said "you might be a little depressed during and after the marathon." I thought they were crazy...but just like usual, they were right. No I'm not sitting here with tears streaming into the keyboard, but you get this "now what?" feeling. Since late September we (my team) have spent our Saturdays together hanging out, getting to know each other, and every weekend pushing ourselves just a little bit farther than we thought possible. Throughout the week we'd have Wednesday night practices and emails galore from coaches & mentors. All you (I) think about is oh man, I can't wait until I can sleep in on Saturday, stop taking ice baths, and give my feet a break! Can't wait until I can stop asking people for money :) Ok...so now's that time? Why aren't we all shouting from the rooftops? 'Cause now we don't know what the hell to do with ourselves, at least I don't, and I know several other teammates shooting around the emails saying the same stuff.
I was telling my aunt and a friend of mine-- it is really nice to hear how people are proud, or can't believe you did it & all of those wonderful things because to be honest, you're not really thinking it. Only until I was in the marathon did I realize how much it wasn't even about the marathon. You feel like the real accomplishment was signing up, begging people for money (actually getting all the money!), raising awareness, making new friends, and just getting to the start line--nothing at all about the finish line! The job was already done! Not to mention, you already knew that quitting wasn't even an option...so why should finishing be a surprise or feel good? And for me...it wasn't that great. So let me take you through it-- you cross the finish line, you're immediately corralled to the side where they cut your timing chip off your shoe, keep walking to get a congrats and a medal thrown around your neck, and then what? If you're me, you stumble around downtown L.A. frustrated that you can't remember how many blocks away your hotel is, and talking to people on the phone but not really remembering what you had said! The finish line isn't this glorious moment of running through the tape with Chariots of Fire playing!! That's pretty much only for the first guy! hahaha Aside from the immediate 'then what', you have to think about --what am I going to do without these people? without Saturday mornings? without the encouraging emails? without the "I'm curing cancer"? without your coaches, teammates, mentors & survivors constantly telling you that you're a hero and such a wonderful person? (yeah, it's easy to get used to hearing that one all the time! haha)
They also tell you, once you do this you will start to get this "Wow, I can do anything attitude." And yeah you kinda do. Name it-- I'll probably say yeah, you could do that. All you really need is the want, and crazily enough, you'll do it. (I don't even like to run! Still don't guys. But I like to cross a finish line...uneventful as it is!)
So...you're asking, what is it that she wants to do now? Would she do this again? Yep. Team In Training trains people for endurance events...not just 1/2 and full marathons. We're talking Triathlons and Century Rides--riding a bike for 100 miles! For people who complete all three of these, you are a Triple Crown winner!
I'm shooting for the Triple Crown!! Stay tuned 'cause I'll need your help once again. The problem is that I have such loyalty to the marathon team, parts of me doesn't want to do TNT without them, but I'm sure I'll be back to it, maybe even before I move to the triathlon. In the meantime, while I recover, I might go out and cheer on the summer team and hand them their PB&J and gatorade.
