River Lesson

Last night as we were flying into Phoenix I was thinking about the extremes of the last week.  One week ago I was spending my last night on the river face painting, sharing belly laughs with people I had only met days earlier, singing and rapping in a talent show, participating in a native ceremony, and sleeping under the stars.  Last night I was flying into Phoenix from Spokane, Washington from a business event named "Family Reunion" where we celebrate all the progress people have made in our business family, all 5000 of us.  Talk about some extremes.  From only thinking about having fun with 32 other people to sitting in an arena with 5000 people.  If I'm being honest it was a little exhausting and kind of a shock to my system in my post-river glow.

 But I also found myself noticing things I may not have noticed before.  We had a connecting flight from Spokane in Oakland.  We were taking off at sunset and the view was so cool.  I may not have mentioned this in my writing about San Francisco but one of the neatest things is watching the clouds roll in.  I have no idea what makes this happen (if you know, please share) but it seems like the land is higher or the clouds are lower..something happens which places you in the clouds or you can sit and look across the city and the clouds feel like they are eye-level.  It is one of the coolest things about San Francisco in my opinion (that and the streets being as steep as they are, when you see them from a distance it is just mind-blowing.)  So, as we're taking off from Oakland with the sky already being that awesome sunset-pink, it's late enough to see the city lights, light enough to see the clouds.  I just thought it was the neatest thing, to peak through the clouds at the city and the horizon.

As we were descending into Phoenix we were racing a storm (we beat it, yay!) so we could again see the clouds, lightning (which I was not fortunate enough to capture a picture of) but what I really noticed was how much I love our grid!  Yes, I actually found some beauty in our streets' grid system....  

Even though I'm not on the river with just the shooting stars (25 my whole trip!!), the canyon walls, or the muddy river, I am still noticing the little things more and seeing the beauty (without even trying) in the every day stuff.  That might be my biggest take away from the river.

River Rampage II

You may remember way back in 2009 I volunteered with a program called River Rampage.  At the time the program was part of the City of Phoenix but now it is run through a nonprofit called Daring Adventures (DA).  DA has a ton of programs for people with disabilities such as kayaking, rock climbing, backpacking, cross country skiing, and hiking just to name a few.  River Rampage (RR) takes a group of teenagers on a river rafting trip on the San Juan River in Utah.  Some of the teens have disabilities or tough life circumstances to deal with, and many are 'typical' teens...all of them complete volunteer work to earn their trip.  My role is known as a "sidekick" which is basically a mentor to a few teens I am assigned to.  I'm their go-to person leading up to the trip for any questions, to help them meet their volunteer hours, and whatever else may come up. I loved this trip and this program so much in 2009 that when the stars finally aligned to get involved again I jumped at the chance.  So here goes...

On a Thursday morning we all met at the Virginia G. Piper Sports & Fitness Center (Spofit for short--Spofit is an awesome fitness center for people with disabilities).  We all packed our dry bags, made sure we had everything we needed, teens said goodbye to their families, and we all climbed onto a big bus to take us to Flagstaff.  We stopped in Flag for lunch and to pick up one of our river guides, then continued on the road for 3-4 more hours before arriving at our first campsite in Utah and meeting the rest of our guides (6 all together).  That night we had dinner prepared for us by the guides and staked our claim on campsites.  Every campsite is divided into boys camp and girls camp, and on this trip we never once set up a tent!  Each of us get a sleep-kit with a sleeping bag, tarp, little air mattress, and a sheet.  The teens all lay their tarps out of the ground and sleep right on that.  Most of the adults use a cot (definitely easier on our old bones than the ground...and for people like me, a little distance between me and the creepy crawlers really eases the mind.). I remember on the last trip I was super freaked out and uncomfortable about this but did it anyway and by the end of the trip loved it.  This time I was able to start out only mildly uncomfortable on night one, but this was eased simply by looking at the sky.  Would you believe I saw 10 shooting stars on the first night?!  It was pretty amazing.

The next morning we're awakened by a guide yelling "COFFEE or HOT CHOCOLATE."  This is our alarm clock, if you weren't already awake from the morning sun.  Then it's time to change, get 'cleaned up' (which I use the term pretty loosely), pack up your own stuff, and then as a group pack up the entire campsite.  We make a bag line to pass everything on and off the boats at each site, which really makes it light work all around.  Which is great because there is so much equipment needed for 33 people total to raft and camp for 4-5 days!  On this first morning we took a short hike to see some petroglyphs, which is always so cool to see.  Then we headed to the boats...  Each morning we are assigned to different boats so you have chances to meet and spend time with different people and try out each type of boat.  We have 5 oar boats which carry equipment and that a guide is in control of, plus 3-4 passengers, except for 1 boat which just carries equipment and in my experience is always run by a kind of guide in training--they are still learning and can't take passengers yet.  Then we also have a paddle boat which has a guide and 6 passengers.  On the paddle boat everyone obviously has a paddle and takes direction from the guide on when and how to paddle.  Finally, we have 3 kayaks, or what they call "duckies" that each hold 2 people.  From this point it's just cruising down the river until we stop for lunch.  I'm having a hard time remembering where we stopped for lunch this day, but there's always time for swimming and playing in the water whenever we stop, and I believe we took a short hike to more petroglyphs.  After lunch it's back to the same boats until we stop for our final campsite of the day.  When we arrive to camp we break out the bag line to unload.  The guides set up the "kitchen" and we all lay our claim...the rest of the night is swimming, playing, talking, and eating before making our way to bed.  I slept like a rock this night until early morning (my best guess is around 3 a.m?  No watches on this trip) when I woke up to the moon, feeling like someone was shining a flashlight in my face, followed by hearing a pack of coyotes howling!  It was pretty cool...even if coyotes are some of the creepiest sounding animals!

That morning after breakfast and packing up the boats we went for a hike to some native ruins.  I will never tire of seeing these ruins and petroglyphs.  It's so cool to see how and where people used to live and try to decode the messages left behind.  After our hike, which was a longer and pretty hot one, we swim a bit to cool down before hopping on the boats.  On this day we would encounter our first rapids, one of which is called "4 foot."  The rapids that are named by a number get their name by how many feet the river bottom descends over the span of the rapid.  Side note- the San Juan River is a pretty tame river.  Most of the time you're floating along, and when you do come upon rapids they are generally class 2, and it's a pretty muddy river.  Last time I went I remember being surprised at it's color (light brown), and this time it was even worse because of monsoonal rains in Colorado, which is where the water comes from.  It felt like swimming and floating in chocolate milk, which I actually really liked (no need to worry about green water and what may be lurking...if I can't see anything then I can pretend nothing is in there..hah)  So, after we went through '4 foot' we pulled over to play.  You can climb out into the rapid and let go to let the rapid carry you down stream, pretty fun!  It's always pretty excellent to sit in the river and just play in the mud and sand... I am a mud puppy!  After we played for awhile we hopped back in our boats (oh, I was on a paddle boat this day) to head to camp.  Our camp on this night was so cool.  We were in the canyon so we were surrounded by canyon walls and girls camp was on top of some giant rocks right next to a rapid.  We could hear the water clearly all night.  I saw the coolest shooting star of the trip that night!  Oh, and on this night, the guides took a night off from making dinner and the sidekicks did the cooking.  We all brought masquerade type masks to wear while serving dinner as a surprise for the kids, and the guides had a chance to kick it with the teens.

The next day I was on an oar boat again with a guide I met on my last trip in 2009.  Now that everyone was pretty used to the river and what to expect the guides let the teens play around with manning the oar boats.  On this day we went to another cool campsite to play called the Ledge (we didn't camp there this time, but we did on my last trip). It's called Ledge because there is a ledge in the rocks on the opposite side where you can catch a rapid and swim to the ledge.  The guides also did a slip and slide by turning over the paddle boat.  So you could get a running start and slide across the bottom of the boat into the river!  After plenty of play we kept it moving to our next campsite.  It was a pretty small camp that night which was kinda cool and cozy.  This final day/night you could look around and see that things had changed.  The group had really come together, became closer, really relaxed, and bonded.  It was a night of painting nails, dressing up in costumes, face painting, and a talent show, which ended with a really special ceremony by two of the native kids on the trip.

The final morning, as you can probably imagine, is bittersweet.  You don't want it to be over when everyone is really starting to find their groove, but you know that it is coming to and end so you may as well look forward to that shower for the first time in 5 days...!  But before we leave we have one very important piece left to complete.  After loading up all the boats we all sit for a closing circle, which honestly my eyes start to burn every time I think about it.  In the closing circle we talk about what the trip has meant to us, what we learned or plan to take with us and because this trip is one of those things where tight bonds are formed very quickly it gets pretty intense.  Just about everyone will cry and some to the point of not being able to speak because they can't even put into words what the experience and the people on the trip have meant to them.  We do some symbolic sharing as well which can by funny or emotional, but completely special.  It's a great reminder of why we all do this in the first place and how important this program is to continue on.  After closing circle, we board our boats for a silent float the remainder of the trip...to reflect and really soak it all in.  Nearing the end of our trip we were greeted by a little family of big horned sheep.  Normally when we see them they just run away up the mountains, but at this instance they just stood and watched us and followed us and it was an awesome way to leave the river.

When we get to our takeout point we unload everything, deflate the boats, clean up, and board the bus back to Flag.  We take our showers (which was pretty delightful), have a pizza party, and sleep inside for the first time.  The next day we make the journey back to Phoenix to meet parents awaiting the arrival of their kids.  As I watch the parents look at their kids I just wonder if they see what I see?  Do they see changes in their kids and this group that are glaringly obvious to me?  The parents want to come rushing out to see their kids (as I would too!) but their kids have work to do.  Without even a directive given the kids know we first need to unload this bus and get equipment where it needs to go...THEN I'll go find my parents.  I'm sure the teens are excited to see their families, but in some ways not nearly as excited as they thought they would be!

I worried that I might be a little jaded about it because my first trip made such an impact, I didn't think it could happen again but it did.  "Every trip is different," you hear veterans say this and you know it's true but you still wonder.  And I can say this trip was very different than my first trip, but equally awesome.  I'm thankful it's something I was able to be a part of not only once but twice.  If I had to compare the trips I would say on my first trip I may have felt more connected to the teens than the sidekicks, and on this trip I felt more connected to the sidekicks than I did 5 years ago.  I had great sidekicks on my first trip, but I think I spent my time differently.  And on this trip I respect these teens and had some great conversations and connections, but I also felt even more connected to the adults.  Which is fantastic.  I'm still in touch with some teens from my first trip and they are adults now doing great things in the world.  And I know I'll stay in touch with some of the teens from this trip.  But I do feel like I found some friends in the adults that I'll stay in touch with, not just pass by in facebook land here and there.  Although I'm so happy to have them all, the passersby and the new friends, in my collection.

San Francisco

"If you're going to San Francisco

Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

If you're going to San Francisco

You're going to meet some gentle people there..."

**This song was on repeat in my head the whole time in SF :)**

When I was volunteering in South Africa back in 2008 I met some very cool people and a couple in particular that I keep in touch with at least weekly, usually several times a week.  One of those is Heather from Scotland.  When Heather told me she was planning a surprise birthday trip to San Francisco for her girlfriend, Kirsty, I knew Ivan & I had to join in!  San Francisco has been on our list of places to visit for 9 years (always somehow getting bumped to the bottom for other places) and meeting up there would certainly be easier than finding the time and money to go to Scotland (although it's very high on the list of places I need to go!)  This trip was in the works for a year or so and about 6 months before I knew it would definitely work out for us to join.  The plan was to keep it a complete surprise from Kirsty until she was on her way and even then to keep the fact that we were meeting them there a surprise until we actually met!

Ivan and I flew in early on a Saturday morning knowing that H & K wouldn't arrive until late that night.  Once we landed and checked into the hotel we went off on foot to find some lunch and then to locate the Full House house--the house they use as the outside shot.  Happy to report that we found it!  We were trying to find another park where you can see the Painted Ladies, or the houses/park you see in the opening credits, but our phones had died, our feet were spent, and we stumbled into a random park for a rest, hah!  Although it wasn't the park we were looking for it had an amazing view of the city.  From there we made the trek back to the hotel, crashed for a few hours, then prepared for H&K to arrive!  The original plan was to meet up at a bar for drinks and I tried, but my head was about to pound right out of my skull so we decided we'd just surprise K right there at the hotel.  Excitement #1 is receiving a knock at the door from H, who I haven't seen in person for 5 years but speak to through voice messages and emails several times a week.  So surreal!  K was waiting for H outside the hotel so we came down and met her there.  I wish we had taken a picture or video!  I can only imagine how it would feel to first and foremost have a trip planned for you with no knowledge, to your favorite city, only to find out you're going to your favorite city when you have a connection in the U.S, and then have two people you've only heard about (although heard about plenty and with lovely info only...ha) meet you on the street after traveling for hours and hours... I can't speak for K but it was great to finally meet someone I've been hearing about for a couple years and felt like I'd known awhile myself!

The following morning we all met up to for K's next surprise, which was a champagne brunch cruise through the bay.  This was so awesome.  We were seated at a table by the window, with a birthday card waiting for K and the champagne started flowing.  They had several buffet tables with breakfast goodies, sweets, and lunch options too.  We cruised around the bay to get incredible views of Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge, Sausalito, and AT&T Park.  I love being on the water anyway, but to be there with great friends, celebrating a birthday, as a surprise, it was my favorite part of the trip, hands down :)  After the cruise was over we ventured around Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf, had some ice cream and made the short trek back to the hotel through Chinatown.  After a little rest we met up for dinner at Burger Bar, which happens to be a place we frequent in Vegas too.

Side note, our hotel was this quirky little place in a great location--just across the street from the gates to Chinatown, and about a 10 minute walk to everything else we needed.  The hotel has every room designed by a different local artist.  Our room was the Madonna room which had a huge painting of Madonna above the bed and the other walls with Louis Vuitton patterns.  The bathroom had a claw foot bathtub, and the elevator was so old school you pulled the metal doors open and shut yourself.  A little loud and creaky since it was an old building but overall great price and location and very funky.

The next day we headed downtown to take a ride on San Fran's famous cable cars.  It was quite a line but moved fairly quickly.  Ivan & K took the spots standing and hanging off the side of the car while H & I sat down.  These things were pretty cool and so iconic ya know?  We rode the cable car to the top of Lombard Street, also known as "the crookedest street in America."  This street has 8 turns in one block!  It's so steep and curvy, but also very beautiful!  From here we headed to Ghiradelli Square where you can find the very first Ghiradelli chocolate shop.  After stuffing ourselves with some ice cream and buying lots of chocolate we headed to a little Irish pub where Ivan had his first Irish Coffee-- which is whiskey and coffee!  After drinks we needed to find a corn dog to witness K's first time ever having one.  Not like a corn dog is a delicacy by any means but you should have at  least one in your life...especially if you're in America, right?  Finally it was time for K's next surprise..... An evening tour of Alcatraz!  I was first and foremost happy to be on a boat again...I just love the water!  The view of Alcatraz is very pretty too.  Once we arrived we head inside the old shower room where they give you a headset for the audio tour.  The audio tour is given by former inmates so that adds a lot to it.  You're guided through this whole prison by the inmate's voice leading you from Al Capone's cell, describing every room, telling about escape attempts and murders that happened, and tons of other little details.  Each tour has some extra spaces open to view and for us it was the hospital.  It was really neat, informative, and always cool when you're surrounded by history as well as something as well known as it is, ya know?  Once we arrived back from the tour we headed for some Thai food.

Our final day in San Francisco we headed to Golden Gate Park, which is bigger than Central Park.  First we went to the Japanese Tea Garden which was beautiful and very zen, which you would expect.  We grabbed some lunch next door before heading to the beach.  I can't go to California without hitting the beach!  From there we headed back near the hotel for some final goodbye drinks.  

It was a great trip with some of my favorite people!    

2014 Catch Up

Let's review 2014 thus far...

2014 kicked off with a fun New Year's party at our friends home...complete with yummy food, a midnight toast, watching the ball drop on the big screen, and a night full of Cards Against Humanity.  The following weekend we went to Flagstaff for our friend's birthday for fun on the mountain skiing and snowboarding, and dinner too.  The next weekend my friend Megan and her boyfriend Adam flew in for Megan to complete her first marathon!  She did amazing, finishing right around 4:30 if I remember correctly.  It was a great time to hang out with them, support her, and they squeezed in a lot of hiking as well.

In February we went to the Improv to see Jay Pharoah, which was so cool.  He is one of my faves from SNL and we laughed so hard.  That month I went to my first "Brain Gym" training which has been one of the best decisions I ever made!  I have used that program with so many kiddos and truly seen a difference in them and I've used it for myself as well.

March brought one of the most fun weddings I've been to, and it had a Vegas theme...what could be better? :)  We followed that up with a spring break trip to California for just Ivan and me.  We love traveling with our awesome group of friends but I don't think we realized how much we'd enjoy, and maybe needed, time with just the two of us.  We stayed in Venice Beach and our hotel was literally steps from the beach.  We spent our time playing on the beach, riding bikes on the boardwalk, going to see Chelsea Handler & Gynweth Paltrow 'chat', went to dinner at SUR in West Hollywood (the RHOBV Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant), and to a show taping of Hello Ross...all of it was so much fun.  Just a really special trip!  The next weekend I was lucky enough to go see Chelsea Handler's stand-up show when she came to Phoenix too.  Definitely a month of laughs for us!  And we ended the month with a cornhole competition to raise money for our friend's softball team...let me just say, it sounded like a good idea but we played horribly!!! haha ;)

April was a bit of a slower month for us.  We went to Vegas for a weekend for business--this particular business event is one of my favorites, "Spring Leadership" where we get to learn directly from the leadership guru himself, John Maxwell.  Always enlightening, motivating, and fun too.  We hosted Easter as we usually do and this year had an Easter egg hunt...but the eggs held surprises...some filled with flour, or water, or fortunes!  And yes, some with candy too.  Towards the end of the month I found myself at a job fair.  Initially I went just to support a friend but ended up interviewing and really liking what I saw...more to come on that!

May, my favorite month of the year...brought meeting my teens I would be mentoring for the upcoming River Rampage trip (there's a whole 'nother post about it so you can read all about it there!)  But, I will say I met two of my girls that day and both are super cool.  Remember how I went to that job fair?  Well, in May I surprised myself by accepting a position with a new company!  Leaving the school system after 9 years was a scary and tough decision but I decided I wanted a change.  I celebrated my 32nd birthday in May with a Tim McGraw concert with the girls, followed by a week of end of year/birthday celebrations including a fun retirement party at Macayo's for some very special friends, a martini happy hour with some fun co-workers, going to see another favorite comedian, Fortune Feimster, bowling-laser tag-and arcade games with 20-30 friends, a yummy Filipino Memorial Day meal, graduation for a friend, a quiet Salt River tubing day with just me & Kara, and a bachelorette party!  May was a bit exhausting by the end, but so much fun!!

June kicked off with a graduation/going away party with swimming, movies, and so much delicious Filipino food, followed by wedding dress shopping for a great friend.  I went to dim sum for lunch with friends one week, and hosted a Bal-A-Vis-X training the next week.  Hosting the training felt like a lot of work leading up to it (although it really wasn't all that much, more so just taking up brain space), but I am so happy I did it.  So many teachers and therapists were exposed to a fantastic training.  A few days later we had a wedding for a wonderful couple.  I managed to squeeze in a lot of work in the month of June as well because then came my trip home to Illinois!

Since the summer had been so busy and with a new job coming up I decided I wanted to relax as much as possible while home.  If I didn't have anything planned I did a pretty good job of just relaxing!  During my first week home some of us girls met up for a cook out which turned into looking through memory boxes and old photos until 3 a.m.  It was perfect.  We also had Ivan's family reunion in St. Louis, which is always great.  Ivan's family is a blast...there was dancing, games, a visit to the St. Louis Zoo, and a lot of quality time.  From St. Louis I headed back home for my sister-in-law's baby shower (oh yeah, I should have another nephew any day!)  I was able to see each of my nephews play baseball while home and have a couple sleepovers with my niece too.  This June was also my parents' 40th anniversary!  So we took them out to dinner and planned a surprise party!  When we got home from dinner we had family & friends at the house with cake & snacks & photos from their wedding day out.  It was a great surprise and a really good time with everyone.

Once we returned to Arizona we had a few days before taking off on more travels...which I think I will save for its' own post!  I spent those few days co-treating with my new supervising OT and meeting most of my kids & families for my new job.  This new job will definitely be fun and challenging...ready or not here I come!

2013 in a Nutshell

Better late than never, right?  I come and I go on this blog but the thing that remains the same is that I really do enjoy writing it all down, and when I look back I always appreciate having this great memory-keeper.  So, a re-cap of notable events in 2013...?  Now this will be a test of my memory...!

In February, Ivan and I went to the symphony for the first time.  It was a fun excuse to dress up, bust out the pearls, enjoy some music, and pretend to be fancy!  It was a nice time, but also not quite what I expected and once was probably enough for me ;)  Also in February we went to see P!nk in concert!  She was AMAZING!  She sang live while doing these crazy aerial moves.  So cool.  I was so inspired to get fit just by watching her.  Another biggie in that month was that I earned an incentive in our business to fly to Seattle and spend the day at our coaches home, spoiled with lunch, desserts, and shoe-shopping!  It was a great honor and very cool reward after a lot of hard work.  In March, my cousin Kaleigh came to visit for spring break so we headed up to the Grand Canyon and Sedona, always a beautiful time!  In May we went to Vegas to hang with our Cali crew and of course a handful of AZ friends went to.  Always an awesome time. That same month I did the Glow Run 5k with Kara (which was way cooler to say you did than actually do...maybe it's just me?)  Ivan won an incentive in the business that month and had his turn in Seattle at our coaches home with a trip to the Nike store.  Oh, Ivan and I joined a crossfit gym that month too.  We were very on top of our fitness at that time and totally rocking it.  In June we did a Salt River Tubing trip for our friend Allen's birthday which proved quite memorable...we went to a Mercury game, and to the Improv to see one of my faves-- Whitney Cummings (Hilarious!)  Later that month we took our annual trip home and headed to Tennessee for Ivan's family reunion followed by time at my parents.  If I remember correctly, we had an awesome time geocaching on this trip!  In July, my friend Erin came to visit and we did a girls trip tubing on the Salt River followed by a roadtrip to California!  We went to Santa Monica (my fave), to Laguna Beach, and to a taping of Chelsea Lately where we met Chuy!  In August it was back to school time and then yet another Salt River Tubing trip with our whole California Crew...I love when we all get together and have big kid slumber parties...grilling out, playing in the pool, and playing Cards Against Humanity.  In September we were back at the Improv to see Josh Wolf, another favorite comedian.  We also made a quick weekend trip home in September for my friend Jon's wedding...we really crammed in a ton of fun watching my nephews' baseball practice, another nephew's football game, the wedding, brunch with friends, family pictures (which were SO GOOD!), and cake & ice cream to celebrate fall birthdays while we were there.  The following weekend we headed back to California for a business function...so we were able to spend a little time at the beach, which always delights my heart.  In October, Kara and I went back to California for fall break.  We spent some time at Newport Beach, and got to see P!nk again in L.A.  She was amazing as usual.  We hoped to see a taping of the Ellen show but didn't make the cut, so we headed to a taping of Chelsea Lately again.  For Halloween (one of our favorite times of year you know) we headed to Al's for the annual party.  Ivan was a lightning bolt and I was someone who had been struck by lightning--it was a super fun costume & great night.  In November we did the ROC Race, or "Ridiculous Obstacle Challenge" which is basically the show Wipe Out in the form of a 5k, and it was so much fun (so much fun we're doing it again).  That month I headed to Tucson for a training in a program called Bal-A-Vis-X which has been such a cool program to use with kids (so cool I then hosted a training this summer here in Surprise).  Ivan's mom and her boyfriend came to visit in November also so we took them to a Suns game and spent a lot of good time with them.  We had our traditional Friends-giving dinner and made applesauce & cinnamon Christmas ornaments, followed by a Thanksgiving trip to Vegas!  We went to see KA on this trip, Ivan learned to play Craps (very well might I add), rode the roller coaster at NYNY, visited Fremont Street and just had an all around great time.  December was full of Christmas parties, and our trip home to see family.

Whew!  Ok.  Not as much detail as usual but a lesson learned I suppose.  Either way, when I am older and grayer I will be happy to have it all in one place.

Giving Thanks

It's time for an "I'm thankful" message.  I didn't do the facebook daily thankful thing, although I am thankful, daily, for a ton of people and things, I wanted to take it as an opportunity to write.  So, in no particular order, and with at least a month's worth of thanks....

I am thankful for my family, including Ivan, Charlie, and Lucy.  I am thankful to have them, period, and thankful for their health, safety, and security.  We are fortunate to have family who is supportive of anything we choose to do, who is positive, and that we really truly enjoy spending time with.  To Ivan I am thankful to have my best friend.  We laugh and laugh and laugh every single day.  He is far more considerate and selfless than I am, a great encourager, and best of all loves me just the way I am.  I am thankful we had Lucy as long as we did and that she passed in her sleep so we didn't have to make any tough decisions for her, and I'm thankful Charlie is still here to unknowingly pick up the pieces! :)

I am thankful for the great group of friends we've accumulated throughout the mid-west, California, Arizona, and all over the world :)  Collecting good people is one of my favorite things.  I love keeping in touch with old friends and making new ones.  To our Arizona friends, I thank you for being fun, up for new things, for keeping your word, and for always being supportive.  To our California friends, thanks for always bringing the good times, giving us a place to crash, and for giving us a reason to get back to the ocean every so often.  To our mid-west friends, some of you have been around over 25 years....which just means we're getting old I guess....but thank you too for always being supportive, for making the trips out, for being the same people I became friends with years ago, no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other and no matter how long I've been gone :)  To my international friends, I am so thankful for your perspective on the world, for keeping in touch via email & skype, and for giving me places to travel to :)

I am thankful for our business.  We love our business because we have great products that really do make our life better (I'm thankful for XS which is the tastiest/healthiest energy drink on the planet.  I'm thankful for my light-up lipgloss which has been making my lips purty and providing a mini-flashlight when I need it.  I'm thankful for the meal replacement shakes which are delicious and allow me to have my every 2-3 hour snack even when I'm super busy!  I'm thankful for our skin care products for helping me get my skin in check.  I'm thankful for my lemon flavored "vitality" perfect water, which is yummy, fills me up, and gives me energy.)   We get to help people every day through products or by offering them a new life in starting their own business.  I'm thankful for the mentorship we get in business, from successful people who teach us how to be successful too, and more importantly, value being a good, upstanding, honest person.  I'm thankful that because of our business we get to dream bigger than we knew we could.  I'm thankful for the travel we get to do because of our business, and I'm thankful for the potential we have in our own life and the lives of anyone we want to help.

I'm thankful for our jobs.  While I'd rather not need one, I am happy to be in a position where I get to help people, I get to have fun, I get to make it what I want it to be (to an extent!), where I can change it up from hour to hour, where I can completely change up what I do by walking into a different setting.  I'm thankful my job is in high demand and pays well.  I'm thankful for school holidays & summer break.  I'm thankful for each student & patient I work with.  They at the same time are able to remind me of how good I have it, and also what's possible with some hard work.  And most of the time, make me laugh :)

I am thankful for our house.  I'm thankful we got it for a deal & then refinanced for an even better deal :) haha  I'm thankful our home has exactly what we need from it.  I'm thankful for the neighbors we've become friends with.  Since we're on location... I'm thankful for the Arizona weather, it keeps me happy!

The seemingly more frivolous things...

I am thankful for appletini's, massages, Target & Old Navy & Kohls, Nike shoes, Ho Ho's, pizza, mashed potatoes, my bed (It's the best bed in the world), trashy TV-most of my thanks in this department go to Bravo, MTV and E!.  I'm thankful for Las Vegas, which has become a third home, and the beach, and being only 5 hours from it; I'm thankful for chocolate chips which a handful of will quench my chocolate thirst; for Dirty Dancing-Beetlejuice-Steel Magnolias, DoubleTree beds & comforters & chocolate chip cookies; for my phone & the internet!; for sparkly things; I'm thankful my leader of choice is in office, and that we live in a country that can change leaders without a war; I'm thankful for music & comedy....

That's all I've got for now, although to sum it up I'm thankful for everyone & everything, both good & bad, for I know everything is just as it's supposed to be :)

Dreams, of the sleep variety

I have always been one who has very vivid dreams, but lately they seem even more vivid, and a little strange too...I am on some hormones which I'm guessing may be a contributing factor...haha  I've been dreaming a lot about the past, and people who have passed also.

For example, Friday night I had a dream that I was holding myself as a baby!  Yes, I was talking to baby Chelsey.  It was like I was back in time, my parents as younger selves, dropped baby me off to adult me to baby-sit.  Now, we could say that came partially from just finding out a friend was pregnant and going out to dinner with a friend and her baby earlier.  So, that explains the baby, but it wasn't just any baby, it was me!  I'm sure you could get really deep with meaning there if we wanted to...!

That same night I had a dream that Ivan & I were back in Jacksonville where we met, where Ivan went to college.  In my dream he had year left of school to finish.  So we moved back into the dorms.  I was sharing a room with Megan and Ivan had his own.  For some reason I was 'living' there but still had a job back in Bloomington (like it really was in college), and I was just going to drive down on the weekends to live with Megan & Ivan.  And, Erin Sessions was moving back in too.  She had all of her uncles and her boyfriend there to help her move in, and her Dad!  Erin's Dad passed a couple years ago and in my dream I was so excited to see him, Dave!  So we hugged, it really did feel like a lifetime since I had seen him ;)  Throughout the whole dream I kept saying to anyone who would listen, "I cannot believe I'm 27 and am living in a college dorm!"  Note to everyone-- I'm 30...  so that's weird! :)

Last night I of course had another series of dreams, one of which had my Grandma Spaulding there, holding a baby.  I had a dream about her earlier in the summer and she was holding a black baby.  I really do think she & Grandma Beehn are watching over our future children or something.  I dream about both my Grandmas quite a bit and it seems like every time it takes me a second before I'm like wait, I can't believe I'm seeing you right now!  If anyone reading this knows Grandma Spaulding, the only thing she ever says in my dreams-- because usually she is just there, holding a baby but not saying anything--remember how she would say, "Well."  Like if you told her something exciting or anything at all, almost like you're about to say, "Well I'll be..."....  but just the well?  She was saying that last night when she was holding this baby, trying to entertain the baby.  It's always so good to see them...

I had another dream that our group of friends from California were coming to visit.  Our friend Chad was so excited because he was bringing a box crusher to recycle boxes with this time...  He was advertising he needed a friend to come party and that "the position of box crusher was open from 4 p.m to 4 a.m!"

Lucy Lou the Maltipoo

Well friends, our little Lucy has lost her battle.  She passed in her sleep last night.  I really couldn't have asked for a better way for her to go, but I definitely didn't expect or want it to be this soon.  She's only 6 years old.

For those of you don't know, or want the details, here's what's been going on.  At the end of June it all started with Lucy just being mopey and not lifting her head up for about a day and a half.  This is so unlike her that I was already concerned and took her to the vet.  She was given a mild pain killer because we thought maybe she had pulled a muscle.  Then she started having spasms, losing control of her limbs, not very steady on her feet.  Back to the vet for blood tests (which came back normal), and a new medicine.  Shortly thereafter it turned into seizures.  With the advice of several friends I asked for a certain seizure med and it really did the trick.  After she adjusted to it she was up and walking, albeit with the new problem of low vision, she was eating/drinking, wagging her tail.  I was happy because as long as she was moving, and seizure free that was a good quality of life.  We can deal with blindness as long as she can move & eat.  In the past week she started to regress a little.  She wasn't walking anymore, and started to cry and seize/spasm again.  Although they were very short.  I knew this was a possibility, and if we were going to live with seizures that were only seconds long that was ok with me. 

We had a vet appointment last night anyway for a check-up and to get more seizure meds.  About 20 minutes before her appointment she started screaming, crying, spasming, seizing--I'm honestly not completely sure what it is...it lasted for like an hour & a half-- only started to end by the time we were leaving the vet.  On the way to the vet I was thinking this may be it, but the vet didn't seem as concerned...so we had decided to try a steroid in addition to her seizure med.  Basically give that about a week or 2 and if that didn't help then we would  know we're dealing with something only a neurologist could diagnose.  I had asked if the things a neuro could diagnose are even treatable, some things were, most were not.  So in my mind if we got to that point we'd be looking at how do we make her comfortable or how do we know when it's the end.... I had definitely thought to myself over the past 6 weeks at different points that I would really hate to have to make that decision for her, but I was prepared to if we needed to, but I'd much rather she just didn't wake up....  

When we got home from the vet she had calmed down and seemed realllly tired.  Which I figured she would be after a long seizure (or whatever it was).  We gave her the meds, and she just rested.  Occasionally crying out, but nothing long again.  By the time we went up to bed I told Ivan when I was carrying her up that her breathing was really labored & shallow.... so I was a little concerned, but also knew she was exhausted, heavily drugged, and she had been snoring & things lately anyway.  I held her for a bit, laid her down & then I laid down and about 5 minutes later I couldn't hear her labored breathing.  I watched her and didn't see her breathing, but wasn't sure if it was just my eyes, so then I called up Ivan and after awhile of convincing ourselves we weren't just seeing things realized that was it... so we just wrapped her up in a towel with her head out and let her sleep next to the bed.  Today will bring figuring out what you do with a pet when you don't live on a farm & in the desert!  Back home this is a no-brainer...

I had several dreams last night that we were wrong.  That we woke up and she was breathing, and better than that acting herself.  I really did think I heard her breathing or crying a few times in the night and I would wake up to look at her just to be sure.  We only told a few people last night and I really wanted to text them this morning and say, aw, we're idiots, she was just breathing really quietly and slowly, she's fine! (Still hoping actually).

I do know this much, even if the vet said she probably hasn't been in pain, I think she has, at least in the past week.  I'm a big believer in looking at quality of life, and even in the past week have wondered if this was a life worth living.  So I know she's far better off.  And especially after my dream where she was her happy, spunky, self.  She hasn't been that in 6 weeks.  

So we're going through the things you go through when you lose anyone you love...  I just miss her.  I always had some hope she would eventually be herself again, and even if she wasn't I could deal if I could still talk to her and had some kind of quality of life.  Someone asked me once which dog I loved more, which of course, like any parent I love them equally but I do love them differently.  Charlie I love like a child, she is a perpetual puppy who needs mothering and play.  Lucy I love like a best friend, more like an equal.  I feel so bad for Charlie.  Although she has seemed pretty oblivious through all of this, Lucy was still always there.  And of all the dogs in the world, Charlie was never meant to be independent.  

So, we'll be happy for the time we had, try not to question too much why (although my guess is the episode she had before we got to the vet, she just couldn't recover from.  The vet had given us some valium to give her if another long episode started, but I think that was the one).  

Hold your puppies close, don't get too mad at them! haha  Over the past 6 weeks all I've wanted is for her to do some annoying thing she always did....constantly grooming, licking the carpet, standing underfoot in the kitchen (Charlie has successfully stepped into this role since Lucy wasn't able!)

So last night, she 'slept' next to the bed, we cried, and listened to "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds".... :)

Summer's Over

We go back to work tomorrow (although this came as a surprise, I will accept the challenge in the name of increasing my bank account), and I'm thinking to myself...I did nothing this summer.  I usually go home for a couple weeks and visit friends & family, at the minimum, but I keep thinking, "Man, I just sat around a lot."  So I decided to really look back at the summer and see where it went...

To kick off the summer we had a Memorial Day cookout which was a lot of fun.  We had some new faces in the mix and played a lot of Phase 10.  Later that week we went out with friends bowling at the new bowling alley in Surprise.  This was so much fun!  We went out to celebrate with a friend I haven't seen in 3 years so it was great to catch up and meet some new people.  We really hit it off with all of her friends as well.  The following night we were out for dinner & more bowling for another birthday.  Always a good time :)

As I wrote about in a previous post, I also had the chance to do some volunteering delivering meals to seniors in the area.  It was a great experience and I'm sure I'll help them out when I have time.  I also had a couple favorites, one of which I exchanged numbers with.  I would really like to go visit her from time to time and she really enjoys it too.  What I learned is that although a lot of them are lucky to be living independently, there is a lot of potential to be lonely.  So why not go visit here & there?

Ivan's dad & his wife came to visit, so that was fun.  I do really like showing people around AZ and listening to them go on about the heat! haha 

In June we also grew our business adding a partner and having their grand store opening.  That was a lot of fun.  I'm always happy to have the business grow & am excited to see what it is to come for them!

I also finally caught up with my friend Kametia.  We hadn't seen each other in quite some time so we spent the day together.  Another fun thing is that Kametia was in need of a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding.  I happened to have an extra one lying around...doesn't everyone?  See I ordered it for my wedding (it was inexpensive, and from China).  I loved the dress online but when it came it just didn't fit me right.  I decided to hold onto it and maybe alter it in the future into a party dress or something, but 2 years later I still haven't.  It just so happened to fit Kametia perfectly!  I'm happy to have given her a dress for her special day, and not only that, it's something old (to me), new (to her), and technically borrowed :)  Not too bad!  And she looked great in it!

In July we took our trip to Colorado which I think I already wrote about, and the following weekend we had our 7 friends from Cali visit.

Outside of that, I worked at least a few days a week each week in skilled nursing which has been a great experience.  And, been a nurse to our dog Lucy.  Late in June she started having seizures so it's been a long process to get her back to eating, drinking, moving, and finding the right medication.  She's improved in a lot of ways, but I don't think she'll ever be herself again.  So that is still an ongoing concern that we're dealing with.

I think that's it in a nutshell!  Although I'm heading back to work tomorrow I still consider summer fun until Labor Day....  this coming weekend we're going to Spokane, Washington for a business conference.  That will be fun because I love hotels :)  Especially the DoubleTree.  And, the last week of August my parents are coming to visit & we'll head to Vegas, so still some fun to be had in the next month :)

Home Delivered Meals

So, since I wasn't going home this summer I decided to do some volunteering which I haven't done in awhile it seems like.  We got an email at school from this local organization asking for any teacher volunteers so I took the bait.  A couple days a week I go to this place, pick up the meals, and they give me my route for the day.  Typically I always have the same route on Tuesdays, sometimes it's a different one on Wednesdays.  Usually I have about 6-8 stops.  All of the clients are seniors, and maybe a handful with disabilities, who either can't leave their homes to drive, shouldn't be cooking, just don't want to cook, whatever the reason.  Some of them just had operations or something like that.  They are always so appreciative of the service & have been really wonderful to get to know.  I have some favorites, I know you shouldn't :)  I have one who always likes to update me on her recent doctor's appointments and the progress of her illness.  Another who is 94 and still living on her own.  Recently she's been having some falls and tells me she's been sleeping more, and that she just wants to go in her sleep, so I'm not gonna lie, every time I go to her house I'm worried about what I will find.  I have another client with dementia.  We already know that there's always a possibility she won't be home, she has a tendency to walk around the neighborhood *so dangerous!*  But she has notes all over the house "Don't do this, do that, etc".  Every time I pull up she says "Oh I can't pay you,"  I tell her she doesn't have to and I take the food in.  She's always so surprised that someone is bringing her food.  The first time I came in there was a loud whistling coming from the kitchen.  So I get in there and she goes "oh what's that noise?"  I tell her I think she has made some tea so she moves it, and I remind her to turn the stove off; so scary to think what if I didn't come that day??  When we drop off the food they have to initial that they received it...she didn't know her initials.  So now I tell her what letters to write from the get-go.  And I always tell her "Lock this door when I leave!"  Obviously the point is to get them their food but it's as volunteers we are also to be aware of what's going on---is the a/c on and working?  Have they been eating?  So far so good.  It's been fun and not only that, it gets me up & moving on summer days where who knows how much time I could have wasted...! This week is my last week delivering so I think I might let a couple of them know I might swing by sometime just to say hi, I'll miss 'em!

I miss this place

I'm not blaming facebook...but since the introduction of status updates, yes years ago, my blogging fell off. It's not that I don't like to write anymore, I do, I just don't feel the need. So last night I was looking through old blog stuff and for the millionth time realized I miss it, and more importantly, how much I love reading through old things. There's so much I wrote about on there that I just completely forgot about. So many details of vacations and reunions and stuff like that. The last time I wrote was the wedding...clearly, a thing or two has occurred since then. The sad part being, since I didn't write about it I don't remember all the wonderful things that have happened since then! I'll do my best to briefly recap the highlights & important moments.

Labor Day weekend 2010 we went to Vegas for our friends' Clint & Shiloh's wedding which was beautiful and so much fun :) Kara nearly got into a fight (I totally would have had her back had she needed it...although I don't think she believes me. I was just waiting in the wings 'til I was needed, didn't want to make it worse by springing into action too soon). All ended well in case you are wondering. A couple weeks later we were back in Vegas for our friend Kristin's birthday, another fantastic time as usual, spent with great friends :)

In November 2010 Ivan & I started our own online business called Great Expectations. We sell all kinds of amazing products. What has really been great about this business is the mentorship we get. Outside of business, all the people in this organization are just good people, who want to help everyone succeed, and most importantly have great character. People live on principle and with purpose, they do what's right, and they have their priorities in line. It helps Ivan & I stay focused on our goals, even outside of the business, doing things like paying down debt, and helps us just be better. One of the big things in the business is just sticking to your word and honoring commitments, so we have become so much better at that, in my humble opinion :) The business has proven to be fun, although hard work, and we hope to stick with it long enough to really have some success.

In December 2010, my Grandma Spaulding passed away kind of unexpectedly. That hit me pretty hard because as awful as Alzheimers is, I had kind of long goodbyes with my other grandparents who had passed previously. You certainly don't want anyone to go through that and it's awful to watch, but I still felt a little more prepared or maybe at peace with it when they passed. With my Grandma Spaulding I really didn't see it coming and I'm still not convinced it was her time. Who am I to argue with that I guess, but it's just a feeling. What I am so thankful for is the last time I spent with my Grandma. I was on my way home to Heyworth after spending the weekend in St. Louis at Ivan's family reunion (which was awesome). I was just feeling very family oriented, loved, sentimental, all of that, so I stopped in McLean to visit my Grandma, which as many times as I passed through McLean getting off 55 to 136 over the years, I should have seen her dang near every weekend! But that day I did stop and I'm so thankful. I took her pictures from the wedding for her to have. And she & I watched the wedding DVD so she got to see the ceremony & all of the fun details--and now that I think about it, I think outside of Ivan & I she's about the only other person to really see the whole video... it played in the background at our reception in Heyworth, but it wasn't like anyone was watching word for word. Anyway, then I just really wanted to go to the cemetery to see where my Grandpa Spaulding was buried, which I don't think I had done since the funeral. So I took my Grandma out there and we visited Grandpa. All of this was just so out of the ordinary and I can't help but believe that there was definitely a reason I felt like I needed to stop, spend that time, and go visit Grandpa with her. Because it would be the last time I saw her. I did talk to her on her 80th birthday on the phone and asked her how it felt to be 80, she said "Oh, I didn't think I'd make to this age!" She passed later that month. Still miss her and my other grandparents quite a bit. I have a couple wind chimes that I had bought her while traveling that now hang here in Arizona and anytime they blow we know it's Grandma saying hi. And the other funny thing is I actually dream about her & Grandma Beehn relatively frequently. Some people believe when you dream about someone who has passed that it is them coming to say hi. I think I choose to believe that. It's a nice thought & I love getting to see them. I had one dream where Grandma Spaulding was just holding a little black baby--maybe she knows something I don't know? :) haha

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of fun times, but we were back in Vegas in March 2011 for Kara's sister's birthday (Katie). What else can I say? Another fantastic time :)

In April 2011, a big group of us did the Warrior Dash, which is a 5k with obstacles along the way, like climbing a net, running over cars, jumping over fire, and crawling through a mudpit. At the end of it there's a concert, you get this little warrior helmet, munch on a giant turkey leg. Good times were had :) And to anyone thinking about doing it-- the obstacles were fun, not difficult, you could do it!

Summer 2011 Ivan & I went on a road trip with his mom & Aunt Ruth after the family reunion in Tennessee. We traveled to New Orleans, which I have always wanted to go. It was a quick trip but we covered the basics--Bourbon Street, saw where Katrina damage is still present, went to a cemetery (the cemeteries there are above ground--in some really old ones you could see inside the tombs), went and had some chicken & waffles, and stopped in Mississippi on the way home to do some gambling. It was a great trip; I'm happy to have been to New Orleans and would love to go back someday and do a little more exploring and some volunteering too. Also spent a lot of time at home that summer. I was home at the right time and got to watch all my nephews & niece in their baseball & softball tournaments which was pretty fun-- actually gave me more of an appreciation for the sport watching them :) And I took them geocaching which was great too. Also made it up to Iowa for my friend Breigh's wedding, it was beautiful of course.

Oh of course, I almost forgot also, in early summer 2011 Kara, Liz, and I went to California for a few days. We stayed with Breigh and I took the girls to many of my favorite places (Santa Monica Pier, Hollywood, La Brea Tar Pits) and some new places too- we went to a taping of Chelsea Lately & out to dinner in Newport Beach. It was good to be back in Cali visiting my favorite places & seeing old friends too, while showing some first timers all the fun stuff.

Also in June, we had a little anniversary party and 5 of my friends from home flew in. We all stayed out at the resort, went tubing on the Salt River with about 20-30 people, went to Martini Ranch to watch Rock Lobster, and just hung out at the resort. It was so much fun to get everyone together and just have a blast. So thankful I have great friends :)

Late in the summer I went up to Portland for a business conference. Ivan wasn't able to make it but I had a great time. After the conference I went to Seattle for a few days with Rowena. I really enjoyed the northwest & would love to spend some more time in Seattle specifically. I just thought it was a really clean, nice, cool city. Ivan & I found ourselves back in Portland in November for another business trip and we got to see a bit more of the city, beautiful!

Back to Vegas for Thanksgiving in 2010. This was a different kind of trip. We didn't go to party necessarily. We went to Fremont Street which I fell in love with. It's so different than the strip, so laid back and just plain fun. We did some shopping, I FINALLY say the fountains at the Bellagio! Yes it took that many visits before I had time to go see the fountains! I loved them! I could have watched for days I think.

In December 2011, Ivan lost his Grandma Herron. She had been through just about everything under the sun over the past years and always came through everything. Unfortunately she had quite a few obstacles and couldn't overcome this time. So, Ivan went home for almost 2 weeks. I'm happy he got to spend all that time with his family as he doesn't get to be home as much as I do, and I know it was great for all of them during that time. At Christmas Ivan went to Texas to his sister's house, and I went home. We decided that would be our last year doing Christmas separately-- we've NEVER spent Christmas together! haha It's about time :) It's not so bad when he's in St. Louis and I'm in Heyworth because we can easily see other later in the day or the following day or something, but when he was in Texas and I was in Illinois is when we really felt it ya know? So we'll figure it out this year. I'm hoping we can maybe with his family on Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning, and then go to my family for Christmas Day/Evening...we'll see! :)

 In March 2012 my parents came out for Spring Break as usual. We did a ton around the house...I suppose really I should say that THEY did a ton around the house haha And then we took them to Vegas for their first time, which is one of my favorite trips to Vegas ever! It was fun to watch them see everything for the first time. We went to Fremont Street and had fried twinkies, we took them to see the Beatles LOVE--which is the most amazing show EVER!, we went to the gun store so Ivan & Dad could shoot machine guns, we walked the strip, saw the fountains at the Bellagio, and played some slots-- it was actually my most successful trip ever on the slot front :)

In May 2012 we were back to Vegas for my 30th birthday! I had a few friends from home fly in (THANK YOU!!), friends from Cali drive in, and lots of AZ friends go up to celebrate. Ivan & I went to see Zumanity (after seeing LOVE I am a huge cirque du soleil fan), and we also went zip lining which was super fun. Again, I have to say, we have THE greatest friends. Everyone is fun, drama free, always there for each other, and we all come through.

Ivan & I made a decision to not go home this summer so we could focus on some business things, save some money, and because I started working in skilled nursing facilities back in December, so I wanted to get some more experience over the summer. I work for a couple different places, one in particular has been a really great fit. At first I was beyond scared to work in a different setting than with kids. All I've done since I graduated is work with kids (except for a few months in California, where I really didn't learn anything because I was just thrown in & that's what I was so afraid of this time too). Anyway! I've really come to enjoy it quite a bit, although my preference is still working in the schools. I really like most of the patients I work with (you'll always have those stinkers, no matter their age or ability!). It's nice to have conversations with them about their life and you really do hear some amazing things. Not only that, I am so much more comfortable now with the idea of working with more physically involved kids after having worked on the physical side of things with adults. A lot of the time in the schools my work is more on visual perceptual skills, sensory processing, and fine motor skills, so it's different. It's been fun, boosted my confidence, and of course the money isn't bad either :)

Ivan's dad and his wife came to visit in June. They have never been out to see us so that was a nice visit! We got them a room at the resort where we were married and they really enjoyed staying there. I had to work some of the time they were here so Ivan got to take them shopping some and they got to see our house. We also had some great meals out, good conversation, went to Scottsdale, and to see University of Phoenix Stadium.

 This summer we went to Colorado for a few days. Neither of us have ever been so that was fun, and we haven't been on a road trip (outside of the New Orleans trip), so that was nice just to spend time together & have fun. The scenery was amazing as I'm sure you would expect. We went to stay with our friend Shiloh is who is originally from there but now lives in AZ, and has become a business partner with us. So, we went to do some business things with her up there with her friends & family and do some quick sightseeing too. We visited Royal Gorge, which is home to the world's highest suspension bridge. We also went to the Olympic Training Center, to the Air Force Academy, and to this place called Cave of the Winds. We got to go down in some caves and hear the history, see the sights. Pretty cool. Nice to get away for a few days too, and business is actually always fun as well.

Just before heading off to Colorado our dog Lucy got sick. We're still not quite sure what has been going on with her but I'm hopeful, again, that we're on the mend. It started with her just not being herself for a couple days, moving slow, keeping her head low. Then she had some spasms, and eventually she started having seizures. She's tried several different medications. The one she is on now seems to have gotten rid of the seizures, and the side effects are wearing off so she is starting to walk around. However, I'm worried throughout all of this illness she has lost some vision... She's not eating well either and that is my other concern. For right now there are more positives than negatives so we'll see what happens. If we need to we'll head to a neurologist but for now we're just seeing what happens!

 This past weekend 7 of our friends from California came to town. This group is so much fun!! We met them through another AZ friend and everyone just hit if off and have become closer over the years. Typically we see this crew in Vegas and we were lucky enough to host them this year on their visit to AZ. We had so much fun hanging in the pool, going tubing on the Salt River, and going out to eat. It was so nice to have more time with all of them that just in the club where we normally are. I loved getting to know everyone better and to have those great conversations. I'm excited for years to come of traveling, fun, and getting closer with everyone.

 That should just about do it for the moment :) Here's to hoping I stick with it more, I really do love writing, to nobody in particular, and more importantly keeping track of these details for myself.

Wedding Weekend!

I haven't written a blog or note in a really long time, which is out of character, but I've been dying for a second to write down how I felt about the wedding & everything leading up to it.

Last Wednesday a lot of friends and all my family flew in, which was great! I never realized how cool it would be to have them all in one place, and MY place to boot. I loved having them all here and getting to show off Arizona to them. Maybe now they see what all the fuss is about! :) (a.k.a--why I am still here :) So Wednesday consisted of pick-ups from the airport and then just grilling out, swimming, etc. Thursday was much of the same, couple more people flew in so Ivan was busy with airport runs again, I went to get my nails done with friends, and that night we all went out to eat at Margaritaville for my mom's birthday. Friday was the day I was feeling a bit stressed-- and I don't even know that stressed is the word--anxious-- there was a lot to do on this day-- more & more people were flying in & we had to get everything to the resort. I can truly say the only stressful parts of this whole process really was just being sure everyone & everything got to where they needed to go. Friday I was in "Let's just get to Saturday mode" because I knew Saturday would be far easier-- all the people & things would be in their places and nothing needed to get done but that whole tying-the-knot thing :)

The rehearsal was quick & painless. Our Pastor had us actually say the vows, which I don't know if all of them do that, but was a very good idea, because that was the part I was nervous about-- tripping over words or something, but after practicing, which we both nailed by the way, I didn't have any worries about that at all. Then my worry came to just being able to stand for that length of time in the heat, etc. I just wanted to be sure I wouldn't pass out :) After the rehearsal I hung out with friends at the resort, and Ivan & the guys all went out.

Saturday couldn't have been a less stressful day for me! Probably because I just transferred the stress to Kara (which we'll get to!) but it was great. My #1 piece of advice is to get someone who's job is to just be there for you in whatever way you need!! Anyway, Saturday morning started with make-up, which was SO relaxing. Just to sit in a chair, by myself, for 30 minutes, was awesome, and exactly what I needed at that point. After make-up I had about 45 minutes before my hair appointment so I had time to come home, watch TV, and play with my dogs! Yet again, just what I needed :) Then it was time for hair, where I met all the bridesmaids (Kara brought them there for me) and we all got our hair done at the same time (no waiting around, yet another good tip I think!), and Kara brought us lunch too-- tummies full=happy people! After this we headed back to the resort where the girls all went to their rooms to get dressed & do their own make-up before pictures. This left me with about an hour or so to just chill. Yup, can you believe that? So I just cranked up the air, turned off the lights, and laid down on the couch for awhile. Eventually it was time for pics, which also went super quickly, which left us all with about an hour before the ceremony to relax again.

This was about the time I started to get a little nervous...mainly again that I hadn't drank enough water or eaten enough, and I was super exhausted at this point because I'd been staying up late and getting up earlier than normal all week.

Finally it was time for everything to start, and at that point I wasn't nervous anymore at all. We headed down the aisle, I don't really remember seeing anybody's faces anywhere, I focused on Ivan and started walking :) All the things I had been somewhat nervous about weren't even factors-- walking in front of all the people, standing up there, saying the vows, might as well have been alone. You're back is to everyone so I didn't feel at all like there were 100 people watching & listening. If you're wondering, No, I didn't cry! Not even close :) Ivan was a little teary and I think him being teary kept me from crying-- he & I tend to take turns on things-- if one of us is pissed, the other just naturally assumes the calming role and so on. Every second of the ceremony was perfect & went off without a hitch! And if you're wondering about any other details-- I walked in to Canon in D, and we walked out to Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling." We really wanted to set the celebratory tone quickly after the serious stuff was over! :) hah

So, just after the ceremony was appetizers & cocktail hour for everyone else, and pictures for us, which I thought went quickly and was fun too. The photographer showed us some pics here & there on his camera and I am SO excited to see them all finished. They were looking amazing already on the tiny little screen.

Then came reception time! We had the bridal party introduced to T.I's "Bring 'Em Out" (which I LOVE) and then switch to Ludacris "My Chick Bad." Again, love both songs, and we thought, set the the tone for how much fun we wanted the night to be ;) Immediately after being introduced we had our first dance to Al Green's "Let's Stay Together." Let me just say, I do think first dance is a little awkward-- everyone just watching you, etc, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the song, being with Ivan, etc, but...once in my life is enough! haha Then it was time for food, which was a buffet catered by Macaroni Grill-- salad, fettuccine alfredo, chicken parmesan, YUM! Oh, and instead of having table numbers we named each table a different place we've lived or traveled to-- and to dismiss the tables the DJ read a little piece of trivia about that place that pertained to us, and then that table got to be dismissed, such as "Where Chelsey was born & raised"... Heyworth, where Ivan popped the question "Las Vegas" and so on. I thought it was fun & a little different, and people got to learn a little bit about us too.

Let's see...then I can't remember which came first, dancing with dad, or the toasts, but both were great. My dad & I danced to the Temptations "My Girl" and Ivan & his mom danced to Jackson 5 "I"ll Be There." And the DJ had all the fathers & daughters join me & Dad, and all the mothers & sons join Ivan & his mom, which was super cute, and I think had some great pictures probably. The toasts were all perfect! Antwone--the best man, Jyll--the maid of honor, Ivan's mom, my Dad, and then Ivan's sister Kim rounded it out. I'll remember those for a lifetime I think ;) Of course we had the cake-cutting, garter, and bouquet toss too. I chose Nelly Furtado "Maneater" for the bouquet, and Ivan chose Lil Wayne "Lollipop" for the garter. (Which I'd like to add, I had no idea people chose all those songs! I thought DJ's just threw on the tunes).

I think my favorite thing about the reception was early in the night the DJ had everyone make a big circle around the dance floor and had me in the middle and would then call out a different guy to dance with, and then the same with Ivan and the girls. It really got people moving, having fun, and again, I'm sure a lot of good opportunities for pics! Later in the night my nephews and some other kids who were there all requested a song and the DJ announced each of them by name and when he did they busted out their little moves. Super cute! And they were so excited out there. I couldn't have had more fun at the reception, I thought the music was awesome, everyone was having a great time that I could see--- which was one of our #1 criteria, we just wanted to be sure everyone had fun and that it was worth the trip for them since a lot of people spent a lot of time & money to come out. I think they did have a great time, at least I'm hopeful ;)

Following the reception we headed over to the pool, which my fabulous friends had worked out with the resort to keep open late for us! Normally it closes at 10 but we were there until after 1:00! Most people, except me actually..., were just swimming in their clothes! We had so much fun.

Let me add, the weather was crazy awesome! A little warm (it's mid June in Arizona, so that's to be expected) but it was cooler than normal for this time of year, and the evening there was a breeze, the sky was so pretty, the lights, everything. Perfect. AND, it was a weekend of shooting stars, every day there were shooting stars. A lot of good wishes for us I think :)

Sunday we were back to the house and had a lot of people over to swim, watch movies, and eat, eat, eat! So much fun to see my friends from home sitting around the pool with my friends from AZ, with my family, and Ivan's family, all under the same roof, all friends now. That is probably the 2nd most special thing (#1 obviously being getting married) about this whole thing. It's likely that will never happen again. It was so nice to see and just to have them all know each other now and putting faces with names and everything. I loved it.

Of course on Sunday it was back to airport trips and getting things back to the house. My parents, brother/wife/kids, and aunt just flew out this morning. So we spent Monday & Tuesday in the pool, they did some sight seeing at a ghost town, a quick trip to Sedona, dinner out, and a bit of hiking.

When I get done writing this I'll be getting the house ready for Ivan's mom & aunts to return from their short trip to California and they'll be here the rest of the week.

We've so loved having everyone here, and I will never say I wish it was any different because once they are gone, they're gone, we don't see them much, so I try to soak up the time when people are here ;)

BUT...it will be a little nice for Ivan & I to finally have a moment to look at each other and go...whoah, we got married! haha That hasn't even sunk in yet because we're so busy. We haven't watched the video tape yet, which we're waiting until everyone is gone so we can watch it for the first time together.

So that's all the logistical things :) Some reflections for you...

Our friends are amazing, family too of course. But I seriously felt like we asked so much of so many people this weekend, and I didn't want to, I hate having to ask people for anything, but everyone was called into active duty! Whether that was transporting people or things (which is what most of it was all about) everybody was ready & willing before even being asked, nobody ever said no, nobody complained, it was amazing. I guess it's amazing how helpful everyone can be when you let them help you! I just can't even express how thankful we are and how much we appreciate everyone, no matter what way it was you helped-- we needed it--and we couldn't have enjoyed ourselves as much as we did if it wasn't for you! All I can hope is that when you need us, we're there for you!

Now, the MVP of wedding weekend goes to.....Miss Kara Kujawa! Kara! I'm crying again just writing this (and I don't think I've cried hardly post-wedding hehe), I don't know how you felt all weekend with all the stuff that you handled so easily for us, but we definitely appreciate you so much and this would have been a completely different experience without you-- and not in a good way! You went above & beyond, never said no to any request from anyone, never complained, never seemed stressed, handled everything exactly as we wanted it, and if there were ever any problems you never let on. Our weekend was PERFECT and in large part due to you. I firmly believe that. I have no idea how we'll ever repay you, I just hope we're always there for you in the way you were for us. And I don't know how you didn't backhand anyone for the amount of times you probably heard, in a whiny voice, from tons of different people..."Kara....??" We love you.

Whew, so in addition to our wonderful friends & family, I have to say we picked some kick-ass vendors if I do say so myself. Which I would like to add another little piece of advice-- let your vendors do their jobs! Nearly every vendor we met with--catering, coordinator, photographer, florist, DJ--we gave them an idea of what we wanted and then said "you're the professional, do what you think works best." They do these things for a living and have tons of experience, just find people you click with & trust and then let them do their thing. It takes a load off you, I'm pretty sure they love it, and everything will be great ;)

My one last little saving grace I think that I did for myself throughout the planning was, leave room for error. I personally found if I didn't say "each little thing needs to be perfectly this way" then there isn't anything that's 'wrong.' Colors-- I had different shades of pinks & oranges, which means no shade was wrong, all the shades 'matched.' Stuff like that :) Build in room for change & stuff.

Oh, oh, oh, I need to add how weird it is to have a husband and trying to start using the name Nicholson! I was making a phone call and had to stop mid "Spaulding" and say "um...I guess Nicholson?" haha It feels like I'm acting! And I can't say husband yet! haha I don't feel mature enough or old enough to have a husband. I feel like a teenager just acting like we're married. This could take awhile folks! haha

So...that's all I got for now I think. It was perfect, perfect, perfect. So much fun and I hope everyone who was there feels the same way. Worth every penny, every stress, and most definitely worth the wait :)

Welcome 2010??

The end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 have proven to be not what I was expecting. But let's back up. I was able to go home for an almost 2 week long visit which was really nice. I never felt like I was rushing here and there but still got to see a lot of people, and spend a lot of time with family. Continuing with the good news, while I was home we had a bridal shower, which was awesome! I'll admit I was hesitant about the whole thing because I didn't really want all eyes on me but it was very nice and exactly as I wanted. Good to gather the girls, spend some time, and I can't complain about the gifts either! I feel like I got to spend more time with niece and nephews than I typically do. I'm not sure what the difference was but it was good. I also saw my cousins a bit more, and we had a Twilight Scene-It game night at my mom's, which was so much fun. I went to St. Louis for a couple days also so I got to see Ivan's mom and sister, as well as meet my new niece, Laela! (Ivan's sister's daughter). She is 9 months old now, and super cute. Also got a chance to see snow, which I do like if I don't have to go out in it!! But by the time I left the temperature was 12 degrees, whereas out here it was in the 70's! So yeah, a nice welcome back :)

Bad news while I was home too though. My cousin, who is in the Army and stationed in Iraq, and his wife were expecting their first baby. My cousin was able to take leave to be home for the birth and for Christmas, so a very exciting time for everyone. Everything had been completely normal in the pregnancy and delivery but they lost the baby during delivery. It was pretty horrible news and I can't imagine how they were feeling. They have both been very strong and positive through it all, which is amazing to see. Although it was a difficult time I am glad I was home while it was happening. It makes things easier to handle I think. In addition to that, my aunt has been ill and was hospitalized. Luckily it was only for 1 day (sucks though because it was Christmas Eve!). She is doing ok now though and it seems the cause of her problems has been found; now it's on to seeking a solution.

My Grandma Beehn (mom's mom) is in bad shape right now too. She has Alzheimer's and was pretty far into it-not really moving independently or speaking, or recognizing anyone or anything. From what I understand just sleeping and eating. Last week when Grandpa went to wake her up she breathing very shallow and didn't seem right. They thought she'd had a stroke but the tests aren't showing it was a stroke. Something happened to cause her sugar levels to drop to zero, which affected her kidneys, which affected her lungs, and caused brain damage. She was hooked up to a ventilator and Friday the decision was made to remove her from support. Everyone had the chance to spend a little 1:1 time with her and I was able to tell her what I wanted to say over the phone. But when they unhooked her she just kept on breathing! So this is where we are right now. She is still in the hospital and everyone is spending time with her, reading her old diaries to her, painting her nails, and just waiting. We had hoped she would pass quickly as this would be easiest on her and everyone else. If she continues to hang on she will either go to a nursing home or back home with hospice care.

I'm so glad I was able to talk to her over the phone. I kept texting and emailing people asking them to please give her a hug for me and tell her I love her and it was really hard to not be there. When I hadn't heard from anyone that they would do that for me I felt pretty helpless. Once my sister said she had done it I felt better but as the time came closer that they would be unhooking the machines I just felt heavy and decided I still needed to say something to her. I'm so glad I did. Even though I couldn't be there I just felt like a weight had been lifted. I just wanted her to know, because I believe she's in there somewhere, that I love her and that even though I couldn't be there I was thinking of her, and that she could let go and everything would be ok now, she could be herself again. I don't know what she's waiting for now. Celeeste told me (she works in nursing homes) that there will be times that they don't know how someone is hanging on but then suddenly a relative will fly in and then the person passes. Like there is something they are waiting for. Who knows? Maybe she's waiting to go back home. Maybe she's just waiting until she feels everyone is at peace. I have no idea. I wish I could be there because there is something cathartic about being with everyone going through that. It may sound weird, but some of my best memories with my Dad's family is when my grandpa passed away. We all spent so much time together, enjoyed each other's company, and just felt close. At the same time though, there are some ways that it's easier to not be there. I will remember Grandma sitting at Christmas dinner, rather than lying in a hospital bed, and it's easier to push things out of your mind for a bit when you're not there. I don't know what is better but I do know it was all harder than I thought it would be. And I don't know how it will be when she actually passes. We were all prepared when they unhooked the machines so who knows if we have already grieved quite a bit or if it will feel the same all over again. I sure hope not. Although it is sad that she will be gone, and even though she hasn't been great company for my Grandpa lately, at least she was there-I am still happy that once she passes she will be herself again. Alzheimer's is an awful disease. Although, I think (or have to believe) that although physically this is happening to them, there is some spiritual aspect or out-of-body type experience that continues long before they physically pass. And not in some torturous way where they know everything that is happening but can say it to us, but in a peaceful way- a way for the person it's happening to, to pass on in a sense, to have peace with their own life, and watch this all from above, somewhat all knowing. They already know everything is fine even if we don't. I just can't believe that 'they' are not awakened again until after dying.

So that's the start of 2010 for my family. Hopefully from here on out it's only good things. We have the wedding to look forward to and turning the corner around Christmas is also good, because that means summer is coming!!