2,628,000 Minutes!

Today is me & Ivan's 5 year anniversary...60 months...260 weeks...1,825 days...43,800 hours...2,628,000 minutes! It's been good :) He got my 2 dozen beautiful roses and a gift certificate to Run With Us-- a running store, which as you know, at this moment is very important! Here's a picture of the flowers...

10k!

Today was our 10K (6.2 miles) in Irvine. It went really well, last time during the 5k I was having shin problems, yuck, but today I only had some minor foot problems. And I finished 11 minutes ahead of my pace, so I'm very happy. Anyway, the picture above is me coming across the finish line and that's all my team cheering at the end. Very fun thing to come back to!

There's a few more pics here: http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=9IZMWbVw5Y0w

I just moved here...

The suspense is over. I have new thoughts for nobody to read, after 2 weeks. I've been lazy. Quick recap: nothing new has happened, I visited where I worked last year and missed it like CRAZY--the people, the kids, the nice materials you get to work with!, tomorrow I have a 10k in Irvine, then we're going to Rancho to visit old friends from last year, EXCITED! Lucy got fixed and has receovered very well, I come home in 6 days! We were extras in a movie and it was horrible-- I could never be an actress. That covers that...

So I was thinking about something and it's kinda funny. I have been out in California for a year & a half and yet when anyone asks me about where I live, etc. I will always say "I just moved here." At what point do you answer with "Pasadena." It's kinda awkward because after I say "I just moved here" I then have to explain that I actually have lived here for going on 2 years. I try to cover it up by saying "Last year I lived in Rancho, but I just moved to Pasadena this fall." What's weirder is that I know even if I live here for 10 years, I will probably ALWAYS say that I just moved here or that I'm not from here, to the random people you talk to who don't care, they're just asking where do you live now, to the people who I actually know out here. Just odd.

Oh, and I just clicked the mood as "scared." This is because I just woke up from some of the worst dreams I've ever had. Ivan left for work at around 5:30, so it's still really dark (and scary) and I had 2 crazy crazy crazy dreams-- one was that this guy had been lurking around and living like in the walls of our building-- he never did anything to anyone, but he was watching people all the time and you didn't know when. So they catch him but then in my dream even I couldn't get back to sleep because I thought that I kept seeing him everywhere. And on top of that, in my dream, some girl was staying with us (I think it was Becky from Survivor! creepy...) and I came downstairs (we don't have a downstairs) because I was scared, and she & Ivan were cuddling on the couch. I beat the crap out of both of them. That always feels good. So then I wake up & fall back to sleep, and I pick up where I left off. The apartment building decides to take all the residents to a hotel for safety reasons, well somehow my suitcase gets left on the street so I walk to go get it, and I have to climb up this really grassy wall-- when I do there is a man & a woman standing by a parked car near the suitcase and I instantly am scared. Well some more people start to walk up behind me that I recognize and I ask them if they will help me with my suitcase, then the people by the car walk towards me and say some scary shit that I can't remember and then they show me these pictures of all these people they've killed and what they did to them.

I then woke up scared, even though it's daylight now, not to mention, why the heck would I have some messed up dreams like that! Any dream interpretors out there, take a guess for me.

Ok...so I'm also starving at this point and haven't gotten groceries in weeks. So I have nothing to eat. And it looks cold outside. Oh, that's another thing, when it looks cold outside here, I still think it's going to be as cold as it is at home when it looks cold outside...obviously it's not....

PEACE!

Sitings...

Tonight me & Ivan had ordered take out and as were waiting for our food, Ivan turns to me and says quietly, "The woman next to me is an actor." I couldn't see her. Then she turned around to stand behind us to wait and it was Regina King. She was in Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock, she was Cuba Good Jr.'s wife in Jerry McGuire, she was in Ray, just to name a few. Fun Fun.

Oh, and I just got an email saying that if we go to a taping in the next two weeks of a show, then we will get priority invites to be seat fillers at the People's Choice Awards! So on the 12th we're going to a taping of "New Adventures of Old Christine" with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Wanda Sykes. AND, the People's Choice Awards are taped at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium, which happens to be directly across the street from our apartment building. Sometimes I love it here.

Melani's Profile

I'm posting below my teammate who just passed away's profile. This is how she introduced herself to the team and I just thought I'd share it, so you could know more about her and her specific diagnosis.

"Diagnosis: Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma: Waldenstrom's Macroglobulinemia

Date of Diagnosis: November 2003

When people hear the word cancer, they often dread an unhappy ending to such a diagnosis. I always have. Cancer has been part of my life for a long time. First my father-in-law, then my father and then my two uncles all died of the dreaded disease. Eighteen months after my dad died, I was diagnosed with a rare form of Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma called Waldenstrom's Macrogloblinemia (WM). Fortunately, it's a slow growing cancer. Waldenstrom's only accounts for 1.4% of blood cancers or 0.1% of all cancers in general. That means that approximately1500 people in the United States are diagnosed with this disease each year. Most people who are diagnosed with WM are 65 years old with a life expectancy of about 5 years but approximately 20% of people survive for more than 10 years. Autoimmune hemolytic anemia is a condition of WM that I am currently fighting. One treatment we recently tried was a splenectomy to prevent destruction of my red blood cells, presumably caused by my spleen. After my surgery in January 06, I enjoyed 2 months of normal hemoglobin until itplummeted again and I required my 11th blood transfusion. I was so anemia I couldn't get out of bed for nearly two days. Prednisone has been a lifesaving drug that currently stabilizes my blood counts and allowsme to function normally. Why my body destroys its own red blood cells we still don't know.

The good news is that The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has been a very helpful resource for me. Knowledge is power and I use the website almost daily. Patient Services was the first place I learned about my disease. Currently, I receive a very informative e-newsletter, have been put in touch with a First Connection friend, and listen to Telephone Education Conference on a regular basis. When I have a specific question, I can chat on-line with a live operator and get immediate feedback.

In January of last year, my husband and I signed up with Team in Training sponsored by the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to train for a marathon and raise funds to find a cure for all blood-related cancers. Pictured above with me are my fellow survivors, Virginia & Roger, whose friendships I cherish thanks to TNT. The love & support I received through TNT was an awesome experience I will treasure forever!

Although I was anemic, last year, I walked 18 miles in the San Diego Rock N Roll Marathon! I walked for my three daughters, who need to see that people can "livestrong" with a cancer diagnosis. My hope is that one day they will all participate in a TNT event and be difference-makers like you!!"

Kind Words

I'm putting an email below that a friend of mine wrote in response to my email about my honored teammate passing; she's one of the therapists I worked with in Florida a couple of years ago. I just thought it was really well worded and positive, so I thought I'd share it. Thanks Stef!

"I am very sad about the news you send and very happy that you did, because sharing is the most important thing in the world, no matter what, happiness, sadness etc., that makes us human and vulnerable...I can't give you any money but I send you lot's of love and good energy and please never forget, that all you are doing is already the cure itself, not the money you raise or the treatment at the end or whatsoever...it is the moment that counts and that all those sick people know that you are out there for them, THAT is important, much more important or at least as important than the outcome. You make them feel loved and being cared for and NO medicine in the world can do that. Even if they would have lived a little longer with treatment (I am a nurse and I must say, I have doubted that very often!!), it is the quality of living which is important and not the length and you make a differnce in terms of their quality. However, I don't think because of the medication or treatment but the love and commitment you are putting out there. So please never forget that!!!"

Sad News

Hello everyone. I am doing Team In Training not only to complete a marathon and be very proud of myself for doing something I never even imagined doing, not only to keep myself working out, but also because this program is the largest fundraiser for the Leukmemia & Lymphoma Society, and the LLS is the biggest research organization for blood cancer research. I don't really care what kind of cancer it is, the point is it's helping to beat cancer. Once you have met the people leading this organization, heard their stories, and met everyone you're going to train with, you are just completely and totally comitted to the cause. You are suddenly this passionate person you didn't know you were. You are a cancer warrior as our coaches like to call us. And to be honest it's this huge up and down roller coaster battle, you're up one second because you got a donation or you heard someone with cancer just went into remission, then you're down because the fundraising is slowing down or someone just got sicker, and that makes you want to work hard or give up; you don't know which to do. I guess we need to choose to work harder because we have a long way to go. Today one of my honored teammates passed away; she had a rare form of leukemia and it was too much, the cancer itself and the treatment as well. She is leaving behind a husband and two young daughters. Two weeks ago one of my great coaches couldn't make it to our first race in Calabasas because his father, who had lymphoma, was just put in the hospital. On our Wednesday night practice night, Coach Kiley couldn't make it, but things were looking up, his dad came home. The following day out of nowhere, things took a turn for the worse and his dad died. He had decided to go through a really tough kind of chemo, and it was too much. The treatments available aren't good enough.

Ok, so I didn't know either of these people very well, I only met Melanie once and I never got to meet Fred, and that's the point. These are two people I didn't get to know because cancer just took them before I got the chance, before our team got the chance. We would always get messages from them to keep up the good work and that they were proud, that what we're doing makes a difference, so we just have to believe that it does, that we may not have gotten to help them like we wanted, but we have to keep trying for the millions of other people who still need it.

I just wanted to share that. I guess it's my "mission moment" for this week. Feels kind of weird to say this at the end of all that, but it's true more than ever I guess, we still need those donations. So keep 'em coming guys.

Thanks.
http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/chelsbels

The Comebacks

Saturday night me, Ivan, two girls from my team and a ton of their friends (since we don't have our own), are going to be extras in this new movie called "The Comebacks." It's a football comedy. Today I just got names of some of the people who are in it, you might not recognize the names but you will their faces...David Koechner (Anchorman), Chris Parnell (Saturday Night Live), Carl Weathers (Predator, Happy Gilmore), DJ Qualls (Road Trip, Hustle & Flow), and Matthew Lawrence (Hot Chick).



Also, let's celebrate, this is my 100th post! Woo hoo!

8 Miles!

Just a little update on the marathon training. Today we ran 8 miles!!!! Up until I decided to do this marathon, I hadn't traveled more than a mile or 2 at one time...and that was very slow jogging or walking. I have now completed 8 miles at once, and it was way better than 6! Last week I did 6 and I was about to kill myself and everyone around me. But today, with 8, nope, felt grrreat! Yes, I can bearly walk right now, about 8 hours later-- my shoulders hurt, my legs hurt, my feet are killing me, I'm kinda shuffling around instead of walking-- but tell you what, this morning it felt good. We (my pace group) completed this 8 miles in 2 hours and 7 minutes. Yes when I started this program I could do a 12 minute mile, and now I'm running a 16 minute mile, but there's method to the madness I guess. They slow you down so you can actually finish 26.2 miles you know? So anyway, we're all right on track.

Next week is a step back week where we recover before going further-- so next weekend we only do 4 miles! YAY!

The following week we up the mileage to 10 miles.

The week after we step back again and compete in a 10k, which is 6 miles.

And then it's on to 12 miles! Yikes!

Although, each week you kinda feel like, bring it on, I did't think I could do this, so I know I can do more. It's a crazy feeling. And it makes all the difference in the world to be doing it with a team-- last week a lot of people in my pace group were gone traveling for the holiday and everything, and we only had 3 people. And even that sucked. Today we had about 8 people and it was so much better. Nobody wants to let anyone else down so you keep pushing, and you have everyone else cheering you on . When I train by myself, I can hardly get through a mile because I lack will power and I get so damn bored!

Anyway, just a little update for you. Oh, and fundraising is good, but I still need to raise $1690! So keep 'em coming! I know someone out there wants to be a Titanium or Platinum donor :)

http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/chelsbels

Give Thanks!

So I'm sitting here thinking about what I'm thankful for, since that's what this holiday is all about. It's been easier to think of what I'm unthankful for: being alone on Thanksgiving (yes I guess that was my choice), bills, traffic, extra weight :), and my job...

But a new friend of mine out here just lost someone close to them and has reminded me to think about what I DO have to be thankful for, so here we go:

-I'm alive :)

- I have a place to live (a nice one too)

- I have a job--whether I like it all the time or not

-Yes yes, friends & family I have a plenty, and Lucy!

-I have my health, extra pounds or not, I am actually a healthy person and apparently I have food to eat :)

-I live in a place with great weather!

-I have today & tomorrow off of work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-I will be coming home for Christmas in less than 30 days!

-I have new friends & am inolved in a great cause (Team In Training, still need those donations!)

-All those great friends & family that I have, are healthy too and have all the same things that I'm thankful for (except Lucy! ha)

Happy Thanksgiving!

5k!

Saturday morning, as a team, we participated in the Calabasas Classic, a 5k in Calabasas, that also helps fundraise for families suffering from cancer. For those who don't know, a 5k is about 3 miles, 3.1 I think. It wasn't too bad, except that about a mile in my shins were killing me!! So I had to slow down so I didn't end up just walking the whole thing. Damn shin splints. So from now on I will have to be icing my shins and keeping them elevated after running. Anyway, it was fun though. We got a nice goodie bag and a little medal as soon as you crossed the finish line. Then we had a team breakfast. After that Ivan and I took a drive along the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) to Malibu. We sat on the beach for awhile. It was probably 70ish out, so it was comfortable out. I'm putting a link to pictures at the bottom from the race & the beach.

Friday night we went to a taping of Mad TV. That was fun too. After each scene usually one or 2 of the actors would come up in the audience and talk to everyone and everything.

Thursday night we went to another screening. Sorry, at this one I had to sign something saying I wouldn't talk about it :)...it wasn't that good I don't think. I'll let you know when it comes out what movie it was! But anyway, we were chosen to stay after to be in a "focus group" where basically you just have to answer questions about what you did or didn't like about it & why, what would you change. And for staying we got a free movie pass.

Not much else going on. Ivan will be changing to a day shift in a couple of weeks, so that will be nice. He'll be home at night. He will work Saturday days though, but that's ok because I am busy on Saturdays with the training so it will work out well.

Ok, that's all for now. Here's the link to some pics:

share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=9IZMWbVw5Ywg

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

I just got back from a screening of "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" and it was really good! I don't know when it comes out, but it was good so keep your eyes open for it. It was almost 3 hours long, but worth it I think. Obviously we know how it ends...but it was sad, which is weird because you know it's not like Jesse James was a great guy or anything, but it you were still rooting for him (which was played by Brad Pitt by the way, and Casey Affleck played Robert Ford).

GOOD!

Some Inspirational words

So I've been an inspirational kinda mood, ya know because of this whole marathon training and being around motivated people. So here's some quotes I like, my favorites are italicized :)

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go." -T. S. Eliot

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying

You must be the change you want to see in the world.

You don't get to choose how you're going to die; or when. You can only decide how you're going to live; NOW. - Joan Baez -

"A year from now you may wish you had started today."

"Use what talents you possess. The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." - Henry van Dyke -

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another." - Charles Dickens

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. " - Henry Ford -

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting." - Napolean Hill -

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie -

"If you are not using your smile, you're a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook." - Les Giblin -

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead -

"I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself." - Aldous Huxley -

"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of that candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." - Buddha -

"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it." - William Arthur Ward -

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa -

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt -

Dalai Lama's 19 instructions for life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

- Dalai Lama -

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt -

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus -

"We sometimes feel that what we do is just a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less because of that missing drop." - Mother Teresa -

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. -

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough" - Joe Lewis -

"Tell me and I`ll forget, show me and I may remember, involve me and I`ll understand." - Chinese Proverb -

Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die! - Anon -

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain -

TNT Update!

(This is an email I sent out, but if you didn't get it, here it is)

Hello All!

I just wanted to take a second and let you know what's been going on with my training for the marathon. So, 2 weeks ago we had a pace assessment, where you run/walk 3 miles, they take your time, and then set us up in pace groups with people who run at a similar time. That night I finished at 38:12, which is great for me. I'm not trying to break records, I'm trying to finish a race! Then, Saturday the 4th was our first official practice with our pace group. We did 3 miles that day, and it was a little difficult but not near as bad you might think. We do a run/walk ratio of running for 1 minute and then walking for 1 minute, which makes any distance easier to get through. Not to mention, you are surrounded by a group of really great people. So the whole time you're running, you are just getting to know people and you always have other teammates coming and going giving you a good "Go Team!" In fact it's a rule on the team that you can't pass any person by without "good morning" or "GO TEAM!" Each practice begins with what they call a "mission moment," where someone will get up and talk about something that happened that reminded them of why they're doing this. We also get plenty of words of encouragement from our honored teammates, one of whom is in remission and trains with us, and the other who sends messages via email and is not doing so well right now. After hearing from them you know that what you're doing is worth it, no amount of tiredness or pain running could cause will ever compare, and the daunting task of fundraising is definitely worth the struggle. Each Saturday morning has become something I really look forward to because I look forward to seeing these people who I've just met and every weekend you are sure to get inspired over and over again!

Next weekend we have a training race where we will run as a ream in the Calabasas Classic, it's a 5k, put on by another organization supporting cancer research. Each week our mileage increases, and each week we think, my God, how are we going to do it?? And then we do!

I wish each of you could come one morning to see what happens when all these people meet and hear their stories. It's amazing. So anyway, that's a little update on where I am right now. I'll let you know when I get into running those double digits and see if I'm still as happy :)

As always, donations are very much appreciated!! GO TEAM!

Thanks!
Chelsey

Second Job...or Volunteer

So, I applied to get a second job just to get experience outside of the schools and you know, extra money has never hurt anyone. But I'm getting a bit busier with TNT training, and I just don't know if my heart's in it. I would rather volunteer somewhere I think than "have to" go do something. You know what I mean? I dunno what to do, because as far as my future in OT goes, it would be best to try to get a second job. I'm also a little bit afraid that it's not worth it to interview even b/c I have absolutely no experience in the hospitals and so I have basically nothing to offer...do I really want to go through an interview where I just sit there saying "No but I'm a quick learner." I dunno!

For whatever reason I've had an interest in doing something to help with the AIDS epidemic. I've felt this way for a few years and the other day I was searching for places around here to volunteer and stuff and I saw something called the AIDS service center. It's only a couple of blocks away and sounds like a good fit...we'll see.

As for everything else in life...it's fine :) TNT training is going well, and fun, and I like meeting people...and running?! Only at 3 miles right now, this weekend we increase to 4 or 5.

Work is...fine. Don't love or hate it, it just is what it is.

Ivan's good. He's still at the same job he had last year. Although I'm getting sick of the hours finally (he works Sunday-Wednesday 1:30 p.m.- 10:30 p.m.) Lonely! There might be a day shift opening up so he'll jump on that when he can hopefully.

We have no idea what will happen at the end of this school year. Love it or hate it, I'm comfortable in California, which is reason enough to move! I don't really want to get comfortable somewhere, especially here! Too many things to tick me off in So-Cal. (Yeah yeah, it has good points too). We've talked about Hawaii...or Chicago. Parts of me would love to just come home because I do like being with you guys, and I miss seeing the kids grow up, BUT I'm afraid to come home because it makes me feel like then that's it, time to get an SUV and get to the kids' soccer practice. And yes I want that someday....but not today! Ahh...only time will tell.

TNT

Saturday was the kick-off party for Team In Training (TNT), where we met our coaches and teammates and mentors and things like that. Basically, each team has a headcoach or 2, some assistant coaches and then mentors who are just people who have done it before and are doing it again & they train with you. They kinda keep you motivated, answer questions & things like that. Each team also has a social chair, who organizes things for the team to do to get to know each other & stuff. Anyway, the kick off party had all the teams in the Los Angeles area, I am on the San Gabriel Valley team. And people get up & speak-- people who have/had a form of blood cancer, and you basically cry or try not to cry for a couple of hours. It's exhausting! But you come away really proud of yourself and ready to work. Tonight was our first team practice, and we did our pace assessments. So we each had to complete 3 miles, they took our times, and then at our first "real" practice on the 28th, they will have us in pace groups of people who run at similar times. My time was 38:18, which I'm happy with. I tend to average a 12 minute mile, and that's just 1 mile at a time, so I figured if I was doing 3 it would be a lot longer, so only going over a couple minutes sounds great to me. It was nice to get to meet some people in the area too, which is a huge reason I'm doing this, I need friends! I happened to meet a girl who just moved here with her husband a few months ago & needs friends too :) And a bunch of other super nice people I hope to get to know. One thing they really talk about before you sign up for this is how close you get to your teammates. And really, why wouldn't you? You spend hours running next to people just talking & getting to know them. I'm pumped! Not to mention it's nice to get moving again.

One girl had a great idea, and I'm telling you to do this too-- whoever reading this usually gets me a Christmas present-- don't, please spend that on a donation for me!! It'll be put to way better use, and it's actually what I need right now.

What else...not much else is new. This past weekend Breigh & Joe, and Ivan's friend Brian came out & we all went out to eat for Ivan's birthday to this cool place called La Luna Negra, they have flamenco dancers & stuff, it was fun. Friday night Ivan & I went to see The Grudge 2...it was ok. It could've been better maybe if there weren't 10,000 15 year olds in the theatre who are overdramatic and scream about 10 seconds BEFORE anything scary happens, continue to scream for about 10 seconds AFTER, and then talk to each other for about 15 seconds after that. We almost got up & left. It was horrible!

Lucy is going through a terrible-two's stage. She's randomly having accidents, which she hasn't had in months really, and chewing on things she's never chewed on before! Let's hope this passes quickly. We've still been fairly regular at the dog park, so that's fun.

Well I'm gonna get going. Oh, I'm trying to teach myself how to do those Sodoku puzzles and I'm doing alright...but if anyone has any tips I'd love them!

Got My Flight!

Got my tickets bought today for my Christmas trip home. I will be flying into St. Louis on Friday, December 22 and staying until January 2nd. Ivan and I will both be home the same dates and are actually flying together! One of the first times ever, ha

See you then

Doing Better!

My last post was a little mean and I'm a little better...although I still think if you haven't donated yet you really need to think about it...skip a couple trips to Starbucks or something like that and you will magically have $10-20 to help cure cancer, but whatever, I'm not going to preach today!

Not much been going on out here. We took Lucy to the dog park on Saturday and then I took her again on Sunday and then again on Monday! I love the dog park as much as she does! She gets to just run off of her leash forever and play with other dogs. Much better than walking because I will never go as fast as she'd like and we always end up mad at each other anyway because I'm trying to teach her to stop pulling on the leash, so I've found that for both of our mental health, the dog park is good! I get to socialize a bit, so does she, all is well!

This Saturday I meet my team for the marathon. I'm excited to have people to get to know and work out with. I need someone to keep me motivated. I've been back to the tread mill doing some interval stuff to get ready for our first team practice, but other than that, I hadn't worked out for well 2.5 months aside from the 1-2 times I worked out at home and once we were back here. I really have to stop looking at working out just for weight loss. Because if I get un-motivated to lose weight then I just stop moving and kinda binge for months and that's how I always get right back where I started from. I need to start seeing it just as a necessity for the rest of my life instead of as a weight loss goal. And keep on doing things like marathons and stuff to keep me working towards something that's not a weight!! Obviously using weight as a goal isn't working for me! So wish me luck with that.

What else...tomorrow is Ivan's 24th birthday! Exciting stuff. I think we'll be going out this weekend with friends from Rancho, his friends from work, and maybe my new co-worker.

I applied for a part-time job in the hospitals. We'll see if I get it. I just really want to get experience outside of the schools so I don't end up trapped there. And extra money is never bad! I'll let you know how that goes.

Later!

You should be ashamed of yourselves!

I'm so frustrated right now and kinda angry and a little sad. As you know I'm doing this marathon to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. And I know I just sent out the email last week to start raising money & everything...but only 3 people have donated so far. I sent that email to 106 people, posted it on Myspace and Facebook, and my blog. I get it, sometimes people read it, forget about it, and that's it. And I know not everyone has money laying around... but do you know if every person I emailed it to donated $20, I would have raised $2120! I'm sorry but $20 is not too much. And even if it was, $10 donations from each person would have given me $1060. As it is I'm going to donate hundreds of dollars of my own by setting aside $10-20 per week, and I'm ok with that! But I just can't get over how un-giving people have been so far. I know some people are waiting until they've saved up a bigger amount and things like that but damn, I'm just kinda pissed off right now.

I realize I'm probably talking to myself, and that's fine. And I might be pissing off potential doners right now, but whatever. It's not about me, I'm trying to do a good thing and it's really difficult when nobody will work with you on it. Yes it's early. But I'm so discouraged right now. And this is putting it very mildly. I just got off the phone with my mom and f%#@ was just about every other word out of my mouth because I just don't get it. Selfishness. Whatever.

If I pissed you off then fine don't donate anything, selfish bastard, and if I made you feel guilty, good, you should feel that way. And thank you for your future donation!

Let's let the cancer win, shall we.

A little dramatic but I'm super frustrated right now.

Blah

Things have been kinda blah lately (lack of money will do that to you). Hopefully next week things will be back to normal money wise; since I was off for 6 weeks you know, that'll drain the first paycheck pretty quickly! Anyway, yesterday we went to Hollywood because we were like, well we have to do something. We ended up spending some time wandering through Ripley's Believe it Or Not. That was interesting. I did some more window-shopping (I do that a lot!) And have a ton of things I want to get on Friday when the money drops into my account.

Ivan saw a couple of gray hairs on my head...I thought I saw them the other day too but I dunno. Scary. I am only 24!

Our building is having a doggie Halloween costume contest and I'm debating entering Lucy. I'm just worried that everyone else will go way over the top you know? We'll see.

So start donating your money people! It'll be much appreciated!

Thanks